If I Were a Boy...

by Olga Terent'eva, Moscow

If I were a boy, then a lot would be different. Even in childhood. First of all, I would not have played with dolls, but with toy cars, and this is very interesting. I would have gotten toy trains and cars with a desk from my parents. Secondly, I probably would not have been such a "domestic" child if I was a boy. It is somehow easier for young boys to make friends with other boys. They are always swirling around in the courtyard, building something, breaking things, riding on bikes. And they often do not accept girls in their company.

Middle school. I am a boy, and I don't have to bother with nonsense like embroidery and sewing. I go to the bathroom marked with the letter 'M' [malchik, for boy] The process, associated with draining the bladder, is easier for boys than for representatives of the female sex. And furthermore, there are absolutely no men with those "critical days." Not too bad at all!

If I were a boy, I would be very successful in sports - especially in tae-kwan-do. On the other hand, this wouldn't be that interesting. Because, when girls talk about how they are studying war, or want to learn how to shoot, it surprises people. And if a boy talks about the exact same things, so what? Furthermore, if you are a girl, the probability of taking one on the chin is not that high. How could you hit a girl? But if you are a boy, you even casually show off when someone hits you on the lip. Yes, as a little boy I would pick fights just the same, and not call health authorities. And with my small height and with glasses on my nose, a lot of people would laugh at me.

If I were a boy, I would talk a lot more with boys. And with them it is often a lot simpler to talk than with girls. I would go fishing in the summers, and right now, I would go with my class to prepare for war.

But a boy always has to be strong and confident in himself. He must never cry, or behave capriciously. If you are a boy, then you would know how to play soccer, basketball, and other sports fairly well. And I have never been able to tolerate basketball or volleyball.

As a boy I would have to fall in love with a member of the opposite sex - namely, a girl. There I would always have to take the initiative, and from these boys there's nothing to wait for.

As far as sex goes, boys have the advantage. No risk of getting pregnant. And no responsibility: "I don't know anything! I am not guilty of anything!" However, I'm not sure that, as a boy, I would calmly ditch a girl that was pregnant by me. My conscience would be tortured.

If I were a boy, then it would be possible to contract hemophilia, though it is pretty improbable - in my family, no one is Sick with it or carries it. But still, that's the way it is.

Being a creature of the male sex, I would become a pilot. This is my dream. I really love big planes, airports, and everything else. I have never feared flying - it never even enters my mind that we might crash.

Men have more choices of a profession. If I were a boy and didn't end up in aviation, I would study to become a director-producer.

But all of this studying and work is not really that important. As a 15 year-old youth, I would be concerned with something else entirely - namely, whether everything was in order with me and with time, whether I would change into a full-valued male. Would I get sick just rarely? All of a sudden, you might become impotent! Now that's a real nightmare!

In general, if I were a boy, I would be a terrible Don Juan and would fall in love with 5 women. But at 35, maybe, I would calm down.