Faced with rolling blackouts, the Speaker of the Crimean parliament wants parents to name their sons ‘Generator’

Vladimir Konstantinov, the speaker of the Crimean parliament, is calling on parents in the currently blacked-out peninsula to name their newborn sons "Generator," in defiance of Ukraine's blockade.

"The current emergency has spawned not only problems, but jokes, as well. Yesterday, we heard that people are now calling us megavatniki [a play on the word "vatnik"—a pejorative for Russian patriots]. I myself have heard people waiting in line ask for 200 watts of sausage, because in Crimea we measure absolutely everything today in watts and megawatts. Girls are named Sveta [which means "light" in Russian], and in the State Council there's been an absolutely original suggestion: name our boys Generator. The shortened form would be Gera—a perfectly fine name," Konstantinov said at a special session of the parliament.

Earlier this week, officials in Yevpatoria announced that they're expecting a baby boom nine months from now because they believe the conditions of Crimea's electrical blackout are conducive to reproductive acts. With a glut of newborns on the way, Yevpatoria officials are asking the Russian government for additional funding to remodel the local maternity hospital.