Opening an amphora

Dear editors!

One of the mysteries of social life that constantly torments inquisitive minds is the problem of the August turmoil and disasters. It is well known that in August something bad almost certainly happens in Russia: coups occur and destructive fires burn, gangs of terrorists invade and submarines sink, fire destroys television towers, and water kills people at power plants. Not to mention all kinds of defaults. In general, as a famous publicist put it, “August is the month of Russian torment, anxiety and troubles.”

There is no generally accepted explanation for this phenomenon. Some even believe that there is no mystery of August itself - they say, against the backdrop of political calm, any catastrophe and misfortune attract increased media attention. I don’t think so, of course, why - see above: many tragic and fateful events happened in Russia in August.

And who cares, but for myself personally I see a completely clear explanation for the August phenomenon - disastrous anarchy. After all, it is in August that many high-ranking leaders, to be honest, go on vacation, and the guiding force of the boss’s thoughts weakens. And without superior supervision in our country there is nowhere. So putschists, terrorists and natural disasters use this time for their outrages. Starting with the State Emergency Committee: Gorbachev went on vacation - and it began.

Since such an effect takes place, then, probably, the opposite should also be observed: as soon as the tension of the boss’s thought increases, things should immediately go smoothly and uphill. And, indeed, this is what happens!

The most recent example. Most recently, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin visited excavations in Phanagoria. Places inhabited by people since ancient times, as the prime minister noted: “work of this kind, objects of this kind show how deep the cultural roots of our country are. After all, look, the Greeks lived here, then the Khaganates, then the Circassians and Circassians came, walked around the edges, then the Turks, then Russia returned these territories again.”

Putin visited the excavation site - and immediately discovered: sinking to the bottom of the sea, at a depth of two meters, the Prime Minister discovered two ancient amphorae! In good condition, they say, only broken. And then the beloved leader demonstrated a prudent approach to scientific research. Seeing another amphora in the student’s hands, he asked him: “Isn’t there any wine there?” Thus, the national leader visibly showed the scientific community that when making scientific discoveries, one must not forget about practically significant things that people understand.

That is, on the one hand, there is a common vision of the meaning of the work: “archaeological excavations are an awareness of our own roots, an awareness of who we really are. And when we understand this, it is easier for us to navigate today’s space, time and look into the future.” On the other hand, thoughts about earthly things: about museums and infrastructure, public-private partnerships and wine in an amphora.

Such is the power of a guiding and directing thought: once it is ignited, discoveries immediately occur, issues are resolved, and the people are happy. And if it doesn’t burn, it smolders, then trouble—another August is coming.

And here’s what I think in this regard: shouldn’t we introduce a legislative ban on management going on vacation in August? No, of course, the two main national leaders cannot be limited: the radiance of their superior mind breaks through from the most remote residences on the Black Sea coast, and it is necessary to give them rest, their health is too important for the people.

But the bosses, whose thoughts do not shine so clearly, should not leave their leadership positions en masse in August; on the contrary, all the bosses as one must be on duty at this time. Not only ministers, but also directors and rectors - is it in vain that they give themselves millions in bonuses for proper leadership? So let them sit. And then you and I will open our amphorae in August with peace of mind, without worrying that tomorrow there will be a fire somewhere.

Yours Ivan Ekonomov