If

The election of the Patriarch is an important STATE event.

Because (you can’t help but gain style...), the Russian Orthodox Church is the most important State, even STATE-FORMING, institution.

Moreover: this whole story is almost the only important ELECTION in the country, i.e. a procedure with no known outcome. Competition, “mutual outpouring of slop” (Dostoevsky), repurchase and pumping of votes... Life.

All this is understandable - a lot of power/money is shared. They fight seriously at Vanity Fair.

Not only Deacon Andriy Kuraev, but also a modest layman, servant of God, Orthodox paratrooper colonel-crusader Kvachkov, is fighting, rolling up his sleeves and raising the hem of his cassock, and expressed his competent opinion about who should be the First Christian of Russia. “Someone Orthodox comes in / Says: “Now I’m in charge, / I have a firebird in my soul / And longing for the Emperor / Let me cross myself / Otherwise I’ll hit you in the face.”

Everything is clear.

But if the State Church is present - “the reality given to us in sensations,” then there is a problem with the State Lord, the State God, the State Christ. Candidates for Patriarchs, of course, are equidistant from God, arguing only about who is closer to God. But is this the same thing?

At one time, Dostoevsky, as we know, conducted a thought experiment.

Having prayed and exiled Christ away from sin - to Spain, and to the Middle Ages - he tried to imagine what kind of nonsense would come out if Christ “came again.” Whatever one may say, it turns out to be a “bad joke”: Christians would have “crucified Him again”! Not at all sweeter than the stiff-necked Jews and Romans... Oh, that cunning Dostoevsky - you’ll see such a thing! It is clear that the godless Catholics and the Grand Inquisitor would have thought of this... It is clear that the Orthodox Church and the Chief Prosecutor of the Synod would have acted completely differently.

So it’s interesting - how exactly?

Until any Sorokin, Pelevin or other “new Dostoevsky” describes to us the new appearance of Christ in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, I will try to sketch it myself - of course, not a picture, but just a pathetic diagram. But, not possessing sufficient literary talent even for such work, I will follow strictly the text of the original source.

So, the mise-en-scène is clear.

By some miracle (not the greatest), a thin young man of non-Slavic appearance, with a beard and glowing eyes, very strangely dressed, enters the hall where the elections are being held - without a pass or passport. For some unknown reason, the police are in no hurry to seize the hooligan (National Bolshevik? Anarchist? Sick? Party artist?). And he manages to say, addressing metropolitans, bishops, priests and lay millionaires:

“And do not call anyone on earth your father, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. ...

And when praying, do not say unnecessary things, like the pagans; for they think that in their many words they will be heard;

Don't be like them; For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. ...

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break through and steal;

…For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

…Therefore do not worry and say, “What shall we eat?” or what to drink? or what to wear?

Because the pagans are looking for all this and because your Heavenly Father knows that you need all this.

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you tithe mint, anise and cumin, and have left the most important things in the law: judgment, mercy and faith...

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you cleanse the outside of the cup and platter, while inside they are full of robbery and unrighteousness.

So, on the outside, you seem righteous to people, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

Many will say to Me on that day: Lord! God! Have we not prophesied in Your name? and was it not in Your name that they cast out demons? and did they not perform many miracles in Your name?

And then I will declare to them: I never knew you; Depart from Me, you workers of iniquity."

It was I, if you please, who chose the most innocent “selected passages from correspondence with friends.” Other speeches are about the destruction of the Temple, about the expulsion of money changers, etc. Do you know such properties that if you are not ready for crucifixion, you will be careful and quote them...

Of course, there is a simple defensive answer to all this: all this must be understood metaphorically, not literally! Who is it, excuse me, that offers the one who struck the right cheek the left cheek?! Metaphor... Ideal, dream, sir...

Cleverly. This means the crucifixion, the resurrection from the dead, all the miracles, the kiss of Judas - this is all literally, this is how it all happened, and sermons are like this... poetry, metaphors, “decoration of handwriting”. Nah... Convenient. And who defined this: here are metaphors - here is reality, this happens (immaculate conception, resurrection from the dead) - but like this, excuse me, it no longer happens (“do not store up treasures on earth,” turn your left cheek). And besides, if these are metaphors, dreams, poetry, then, in fact, what are we talking about? Well, they listened, crossed themselves, bowed, groaned (and some laughed) and went their separate ways. Why strive for this, even just a little? Why are people drawn to poetry? Tea is not Pushkin... True, there is an answer to this too - so why are you banging on an open door! You might think that without you, someone wouldn’t know all this! No one is “reaching out” anywhere... We went, prayed, lit a candle, cursed the “enemies of the Faith,” from the Jews to other Catholics from the CIA - and thank God. And that's true...

Returning to our unexpected “auditor”, who would suddenly disturb the peace in the Temple. It is clear that today - like 2000 years ago - his worst crime would not even be in preaching dubious... outrageous... amazing... content, but in the claim that “I am He.” Actually, this is exactly why the Jews treated him like this - they could not stand such blasphemy. Actually, Dostoevsky’s Grand Inquisitor sends Him (or him?) to crucifixion for this. I wonder how the Orthodox hierarchs would react to such a “application” in our humane times? Well, of course, they wouldn’t crucify people - this, you know, is not practiced. Perhaps they handed him over to the police or to a psychiatric hospital. And that's the end of it.

And they would continue the election of the one who will manage this entire huge church machine. Created in His name, on His behalf - and existing while He is not in the vicinity.

Drawing by Mikhail Zlatkovsky / www.zlatkovsky.ru