Zipun as an engine of progress

It's time for all of us to dress-code

Russia came out of the baptismal font renewed. It could not be otherwise, since the guarantor of modernization himself took a bath in the Jordan River. True, it is not entirely clear how exactly the ceremony took place. According to one source, the president washed his face....

Russia came out of the baptismal font renewed. It could not be otherwise, since the guarantor of modernization himself took a bath in the Jordan River.

True, it is not entirely clear how exactly the ceremony took place. According to one source, the president washed his face. According to others, there was a complete immersion (according to some sources, three times). Information confusion is caused by the fact that bathing took place behind closed doors, without media representatives. The journalists barely had time to notice that the manager Kozhin had a long white shirt at the ready.

Meanwhile, in the snowy homeland, the head of State Duma speaker Boris Gryzlov was the first to emerge from the hole. He brought the good news to the Russians, with the lapidarity inherent only to him, having formulated the national idea: "The first in everything." “For us, Russians, there is a national idea - to be the first everywhere and in everything. Striving for leadership is a trait inherent in Russians,” Gryzlov said.

These words, once again proving that a speaker and an orator are completely different professions, might seem out of place on a big holiday of Christianity, which classifies pride as one of the seven deadly sins. Fortunately, Boris Vyacheslavovich did not go into details and did not explain from which end and in what nominations Russia should excel. When it comes to ease of doing business, for example, we just have to push a little and overtake Burundi. Then it is no longer pride, but humility.

The conversation about the national traits of the Russian people was willingly supported by Ramzan Kadyrov. Complaining about the fact that he had not seen the Pyatnitsky choir and the Cossack dance ensemble on federal TV channels for a long time, the head of Chechnya advised Russian women to dress more modestly in a fatherly way. Thus, he took part in a wide-ranging discussion, which was opened by the head of the Synodal Department for Relations between the Russian Orthodox Church and Society, Archpriest Vsevolod Chaplin, who proposed introducing a certain all-Russian dress code. Along with Kadyrov, this initiative was generally supported by the press secretary of the Chief Rabbi of Russia, who, just in case, stipulated for Jews the option not to wear Muslim trousers.

Gryzlov's national idea combined with Chaplin's national dress code will give a new impetus to our innovative efforts. Now Geim and Novoselov are not eager to go to Skolkovo. If you promise them free uniforms, giving the first a zipun, the second a shushun, and a rabbit sheepskin coat for two, perhaps they will change their minds.

For the sake of preserving national traditions, there should be a village fool in Skolkovo, preferably an advanced user. For this vacancy, Transneft President Nikolai Tokarev suggested blogger Alexei Navalny. “You know how they settle scores in the village: they find a fool, give him three kopecks, and he runs around all day and says what he taught ... This Navalny acts the same way,” Interfax quoted Tokarev as saying. Navalny may be a fool, but he still received a grant of three kopecks. But to what mental category the president of Transneft refers all the other Russians, from whose pocket, it seems, 1,100 rubles were stolen during the construction of the Eastern Siberia-Pacific Ocean pipeline, he did not explain.

Well, don't worry. We will tighten our sashes on Armenians and line up in line for the core. From time immemorial, we have strived to be the first in the queues, and not more than two pieces in one hand.

PS _ Perhaps, speaking of the desire for leadership, B.V. Gryzlov did not mean all Russians, but only members of his own party. But then this idea is not national, but obsessive. But United Russia will also stand in line when they throw out the Alina doll made of high-quality latex, which has already been registered in Rospatent the other day by one State Duma deputy, on the shelves._