Code of Madness

It’s been almost a week since part of humanity went to the front to defend “basic values” from the feature film “The Da Vinci Code.” Citizens of almost all continents of the planet are participating in the battle to ban it, except perhaps Africa and, perhaps, Australia. Let the reader correct me if this is not so.

I can only regret that, out of cowardice, I did not appear in Moscow to tear apart a newspaper and a poster for the movie “The Da Vinci Code” like a monkey, inspired by the discontent of the clergy of the Orthodox Church. I admit, my soul was also yearning for Europe, where there is also no limit to the indignation of believers demanding a ban on the screening of the “unpleasing film.”

I am ready to applaud each of the hierarchs of the Catholic and Protestant churches in the United States and their comrades from Opus Dei, who have launched a PR crusade against the adversaries who filmed The Da Vinci Code. And also to pay tribute to that part of the flock who, day and night, with posters and crosses, are on duty at the cinemas of America, persuading fellow citizens not to attend the heretical spectacle.

I wait with bated breath for calls for punishment for the producers of the film “The Da Vinci Code,” the owners of the companies that produced it, as well as the formerly beloved actor Tom Hanks and his colleagues. They certainly “sold their faith for tens of millions of pieces of silver.” Perhaps they will be anathematized or honored with burning at the stake, after monstrous torture in the style of the Spanish Inquisition.

This spectacle, the fire and the torture, and maybe both procedures together, must be shown live on television. It’s even better to broadcast in stadiums and squares, charging a small bribe for viewing. And then distribute it on DVD, replenishing the church treasury, which was empty after its representatives were accused of molesting minors and working for intelligence services in different countries.

It is best to entrust the filming of the execution, as well as its conduct, to representatives of radical Islam, since over the centuries the Church has lost the necessary skills, and there is practically no time for training personnel. The "power" of Brown's book and the film of the same name "certainly threatens" to destroy the basic moral foundations that have taken so long to be created by the "advanced" part of humanity.

However, the revenge of the religious community should not stop only at the film adaptation of the “harmful in all respects” book “The Da Vinci Code.”

Unfortunately, a few years ago, some outraged Jews did not follow through with their battle against Mel Gibson's film The Passion of the Christ. It is urgent to return to this topic and finish the matter.

It is also unclear why the Iranian government, which split uranium, still cannot fulfill its promise to find and destroy Salman Rujdi, the “unworthy” author of a book “defaming Islam.” After all, the powerlessness of the authorities could lead to a fall in the authority of the all-powerful Guardians of the Islamic Revolution in this “tolerant” country.

Atheists and historians, in turn, need to figure out why director Oliver Stone, who directed the feature film “JFK,” is still alive. Let me remind you that in this film, President Lyndon Johnson is presented as one of the conspirators who planned the assassination of John Kennedy.

So the residents of New York and its mayor Michael Bloomberg were somehow inattentive to the “slander” against their city, which, according to the authors of the feature film “If Tomorrow Comes,” froze along with most of its inhabitants. And although the Russians have made a lot of progress in the “fight against heresies,” they are still far from achieving significant results. The burning of Sorokin’s books became an example for all “progressive humanity”, but has not yet had a full effect on it.

In addition, the feature films of Alexei German and Alexander Sokurov are unfairly forgotten by the “advanced” public. The generation of old Bolsheviks and their young followers somehow missed the “monstrous slander” against the communist beliefs they elevated to the rank of religion.

So let's go back to the darkness of the recent past and start dealing with everyone and banning everything that we haven't already managed to destroy or ban. If we worry about this seriously, then we will not have time to pay attention to all sorts of “little things.” There are various diseases, hunger, cruelty of dictatorships, lack of freedom of speech, corruption and other “nonsense”. We will spend our days rapidly destroying each other, which, incidentally, is what we are doing anyway, just not as actively as we would like.

Actually, we have always been famous for our militant spirit. From the day they began to kill each other in order to seize new lands, hiding behind the idea of ​​​​the superiority of one religion over another. Or, later, bleeding for control of territories bleeding oil.

If we tense up, then for some time the Earth will be illuminated by the light of fires, on which not only books and films, good and bad, will burn, but also their authors and directors, philosophers and literary provocateurs. Many of them make money and fame from our primal instincts and ignorance, much to our amusement.

My favorite author, satirist George Carlin, a former Catholic believer, once wrote lines that I am ready to subscribe to, without fear of the wrath of representatives of all religious denominations:

“Something is wrong here on Earth. Wars, epidemics, destruction, hunger, dirt, poverty, crime and corruption. Something is definitely not as we would like.

What is happening can hardly be called good work. If what is happening is the best that the Lord could do, his works do not make a strong impression on me. Such asshole achievements can be expected from a clerk in an office with a constantly bad mood.

And now, just between you and me, it should be noted that in a decently managed civilization this guy would have long been asked to rush away from there on his almighty ass. And by the way, I say “this guy” because, looking at the results, I firmly believe that if God exists, then he must be human.”

If you want to protest against thoughts, books or films, be kind, but do not demand to ban them if they do not call for the murder of your own kind. At least out of a sense of self-preservation, since our world is extremely imperfect, and we are extremely unbalanced.