In the Kremlin

Pictors

January 22, 2009 Julia Latynina

Prime Minister Vladimir Putin painted a picture. The picture went at the auction for 37 million rubles. (And you say crisis!)

There were precedents. Nero, as you know, sang perfectly. Stalin was a great specialist in linguistics. Hossein’s garden wrote novels that were published in Iraq with huge circulations. Turkmenbashi also wrote, but not novels, but the best book of all time and peoples - the immortal epic “Rukhne”, the treasury of all knowledge and the source of grace, which had to be studied at school and at home. Well, then there was still a modest artist Shiklgruber ...

I wonder how much it would cost at the auction of his paintings after the "Crystal Night"? And how much would they fall in price after May 9, 1945? Interestingly, the paintings of our prime minister will be cheaper?

After the story with a picture painted by Putin, I know for sure that Viktor Suvorov is reading in the Kremlin. Because a similar case is described in my favorite books of Suvorov about Anastasia Streletskaya - the stories “Control” and “Choice”. Remember? Anastasia enters Paris without a penny of money and with the need to legalize. Draws some kind of daub and declares it to "new Russian art."

Here is the most important, of course, the question: who painted? Because there are only two options. Or the picture, spending a priceless time and sleepless nights on this, painted in creative inspiration by V.V. Putin. And then we know exactly why the prime minister still did not find time to explain the nation about the economic crisis. Why are the reforms of the army, education, and housing and communal services are being axle. Why foreign presidents and our ministers expect hours in the reception. The prime minister is busy with more important things than any foreign president or economic crisis. He is busy with creativity.

But there is a second option. Namely, the picture was typed for Putin. Putin has speakers - why not be pickenters then? Then it is completely incomprehensible what the prime minister is doing when he is late for meetings.

In any case, this story is the best review of contemporary art. If a modern picture can draw a prime minister or prime minister and sell it for 37 million rubles. - This means that this picture can draw a chicken. This means that the content of this picture and its form have nothing to do with its price, due to the complete absence of both content and form. This means that modern art does not have content, but there is a price.

The price is determined by the amount of trep around this artist - and nothing more. Status of an artist. The Kremlin correctly cut off the conjuncture and understood exactly that Putin Prime Minister Putin has the highest status in Russia.

It is interesting if President Medvedev painted a picture, how much would work? It is true not for 37 million.

I have an offer: to make all officials draw pictures and put them on auctions. At the price paid for the work, we are with a jewelry, to a penny, accurately determine the hardware weight of each official. And then political scientists are already completely confused.

I propose the following plots

Deputy Prime Minister Igor Sechin. Plot: "Atomic war for the Arctic Shelf." The picture shows a nuclear submarine combined with an underwater oil production. And with the inscription "Igor Sechin" aboard. Price - 36.99 million rubles. Well, still for 100 thousand rubles. Sechin will be cheaper?

The head of Gazprom Alexei Miller. Plot: "Our energy weapon." The picture depicts two spaceships that affect each other with powerful volleys of on -board energy weapons operating at a distance of up to 300 thousand km. On one ship, the inscription "Russia", on the other - "Ukraine". Price - 1 billion dollars. (measured at the losses of Gazprom).

The head of the Federal Penitentiary Service Yuri Kalinin. The plot: "Mikhail Khodorkovsky inclines to the unnatural cohabitation of the prisoner Kuchma." In the picture, Kalinin himself is without pants. Price - a penny on a bazaar day.

Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin. Plot: “Salvation“ Keith of Finance ”. The price is two billion dollars. How much it cost.

Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov. Plot: "The most successful war of Russia." The picture depicts Serdyukov, which affects the oil company Yukos with the help of the NAS "Tax Investigation" and the OTRK "Criminal Code of the Russian Federation".

General Prosecutor Chaika. Plot: "The struggle of the good with the best." The picture shows the general prosecutor Chaika, trying to strangle Alexander Bastrykin at the very moment when Vladimir Ustinov leaves the seagull heel.

General Victor Cherkesov. Plot: "The Chekist hook on which Russia hangs." The picture depicts Russia hanged by the ribs on this very hook.

The deputy head of the presidential administration Vladislav Surkov. Plot: "Sovereign Democracy." The picture depicts sturgeon in the Variet Theater. And the signature: “Sturgeon, it is also democracy, there is only one freshness: the first, it is the last. And if democracy is sovereign ... "

Prime Minister Putin. It can draw on anything and set any price.

But, as I said, the main thing. By selling a picture drawn by Putin, or pickens, at an auction for 37 million rubles, the auction organizers explained to us all visually what modern art costs. It costs exactly as much as Putin would cost if Putin had not been the master of Russia.