In uniform

Real Colonel

April 18, 2012 Viktor Shenderovich

A couple of months ago, I talked about this plot as follows: “From the summer of my desk, a mountain of envelopes has been growing in the drawer of my desk - these are dull Nurgalievsky Pinkertons tell me about the rapid course of the investigation on my statement ...”

This statement was made about telephone hooliganism, which, for almost two years, have had been entertained by the Seliger Podonoks, as one of the callers once introduced me in a fit of Dostoevsky voluptuousness.

Homeland thoughtfully reacted to my request to do something with the huts. For almost a year, the various ranks of all kinds of law -protective units studied and sent each other for examination this rather clear, to my unenlightened taste, case.

“The period of the audit is extended ... The deadline is extended again ... Wait for the results ... wait ... wait ... Well, why not wait,” I wrote in February.

And now - waited!

In early April, Mother Mother met me, returning from distant wanderings, dull fog and complete legal clarity. Two letters were waiting in the mailbox from the police colonel Kornienko S.V., the head of the department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia in the Sokolniki district.

The colonel officially informed me of the refusal to initiate a criminal case on my application.

Why did he need two letters for this? Oh, you do not know Colonel Kornienko! He loves a trustee!

In the first letter, the colonel noted the “lack of an event of a crime” under Art. 130, part 1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, since this article “was decriminalized”; In the second, separate mail, he sent me a forest “due to the lack of signs of a crime under Article 280 and 282 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. "

What does this mean from the bird's language into human?

One of two.

The first version, legal: citizens of the Russian Federation, from now on, are allowed to pour over the obscene abominations on each other, the greeting of the Zhidovskaya Kharya is finally legalized, and with the proposal to “fall on x .. from Russia” you can contact the fellow citizens even from the TV - now there is no event or the corpus delicti in all this! Thanks to the colonel from the grateful population for the legal education, otherwise we sometimes still slowed down ...

The second version, medical: Colonel Kornienko S.V. He went crazy in the place of service, and he needs to urgently hospitalize, until he in a separate letter allowed the Russians a betrayal of his homeland, pedophilia and swimming for buoys.

What version are you leaning to?

However, we will not hurry with the choice, because there is a third, most likely version - human, reconciling ...

Namely: Colonel Kornienko S.V. -Just the unfortunate “switchman”, an empty place, Zero, to which, jumping along the all kinds of ATS-FSB-USPE-MVD, a ball of my ill-fated statement fell.

And now he, extreme, must react, damn it, according to the law.

And he was not for that from the young age Matsal Poduya and erased his neck on the official collar in order to suddenly abandon everything and begin to protect my civil rights from his own fucked authorities. And cursing his difficult share, he sits down to sprinkle absurd unsubscribes, keeping in mind nothing at all, except to keep behind him and let them calmly survive to a colonel pension.

I will leave up, of course.

What am I, nonhumans? - To spoil the life of a serving uncle, who did not even touch me with a finger, and just, by the go -ahead from above, he covered a dozen small freaks from punishment, which consisting of a larger carrier’s service.

Ordinary Russian police officer; A bottle in my ass, if I hide the insult ...