Wake up Brezhnev

Eh!.. If Brezhnev is already a hundred, and we still remember him very well, it means we are no longer twenty... I remember how on the day of the funeral I stood guard at his portrait, I remember how in the pioneer camp an older comrade whispered: “ If Brezhnev dies, war will begin. He is the only one keeping America out of war.” If I still remember it, it means I probably believed it myself then. A few months later, Brezhnev died, I stood guard at the portrait, but the war never started.

“Little Earth”, orders and medals, anecdotes - everyone remembers this, and a quarter of a century in the historical sense has flown by like one moment - the legend is so clear and fresh. But it’s hard to believe in many things.

Almost no one really feels any malice towards Brezhnev. Maybe because it is inconvenient to be angry with an elderly and, unfortunately, comical person in the last years of his life. Maybe because we had worse leaders and worse times. And the Brezhnev era was one of the calmest. So there's really nothing to be angry about.

However, how much tenderness! All that remained from irony and laughter were kind smiles, and Brezhnev turned out to be a kind of Santa Claus. And he was kind, and humorous, and wanted what was best, and understood everything, and helped everyone, and was not at all weak in mind, and he himself was going to retire voluntarily. And as a conclusion: life was not so bad, there was a lot of useful things, many achievements, if not for the circumstances and bad advisers...

I don’t know whether this is a specific quality of our people or whether this is human psychology in general: not a damn thing is stored in the head. It's like we're endlessly walking in circles. Here we had Stalin, the father of nations. And everyone firmly believed in him. Then the cult of personality was exposed, and everyone grabbed their heads - but really. Then, just under Brezhnev, Stalin again became good, but during perestroika he became a tyrant again. Now it’s getting back to the point where they’ll whitewash the bloodsucker.

And it’s exactly the same with Brezhnev. When he ruled, although people voted for the “indestructible bloc,” they still understood that such a life was no good. That’s why they were happy about Gorbachev and enthusiastically accepted the changes, glasnost and pluralism. But today, when the country has plunged into complete stagnation, the people are again only happy about this. We don’t need freedom, we don’t need all these rallies, discussions, we don’t need any elections - just leave us alone. Our restless man will give everything in the world for this peace. After all, what was good about the Brezhnev stagnation: tomorrow will be the same as today, and you don’t need to think about anything, because smart people already exist, they will think for you.

24 years later the feelings are similar. Those who are smart and will think everything for us are already available. All that remains is to achieve the same “confidence in the future.”

Under Brezhnev, of course, they did not shoot and torture millions. But not far from our house there was a thieves' store. And I remember so well these cars driving up to him in a line. And those suffering from distant regions, loading into the trunk everything they could buy, despite the fact that they didn’t need half of it. But this is not needed today, but it may be needed tomorrow. But it won't!

I remember how my father went to work in the middle of the night because, it seems, he left his party card there. I went to make sure that I left it and didn’t lose it. Losing his party card meant losing everything, and he was a responsible worker.

Responsible work and a party card did not prevent him from saying inappropriate things from time to time, but speaking quietly and not on the phone.

I remember how incredible the news was for my classmates that I was going to go to Hungary! Everyone was discussing this! A man goes abroad! It was a whole process. Preparation, documents, God knows what else. But in the end we didn’t go. Friends sympathized, but with relief - after all, Hungary was not in the cards for them.

Although no one died of hunger. And there were medications. And there was work. And everyone was paid, even those who didn’t want to work. A living wage was guaranteed. This is what we are nostalgic about today during the anniversary celebrations. We don’t need pluralism and foreign countries, we don’t need millions - all these pie in the sky. Provide a tit. We don’t want to fly, we don’t even mind crawling.

I have my own saying. When I see something capitalist, I add after the exclamation: If only I could wake up Brezhnev now, he’d look. To rock and roll on Red Square, to naked girls on TV, to rich people in Mercedes - to something that could never have happened during his lifetime. It would be really interesting to imagine. For example, it stands on the podium of the Mausoleum, and on the towers there are double-headed eagles, and at GUM the advertising is foreign. What would he say?

No, times have certainly changed. Changed irrevocably. And we won't go back. Even those who are now so successfully reviving Soviet know-how do not want things to be the same. They all like capitalism. And people fondly remember not sausage trains and night queues for shortages with roll calls by numbers. He remembers this wonderful feeling when you don’t have to worry about anything, everything has already been decided for you, and you just live in peace, go to work and get paid. Give the people this peace of mind, immerse them in nirvana - they will mark your centenary as a red date.