Only this way out is offered to him by life in an orphanage. Most of all, Sashka Khalin was remembered. A thin, narrow-shouldered, sun-black boy with short hair and sun-bleached eyelashes. He looked longingly at the world, which with ...

Only this way out offers him life in an orphanage

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Sashka Khalin was remembered the most. A thin, narrow-shouldered, sun-black boy with short hair and sun-bleached eyelashes. He looked longingly at the world, which from the very beginning was unfair to him, and was not childishly cruel. Sasha broke little Natasha's favorite doll and, very pleased, watched her cry. Why he did it, he didn't know. He just wanted to hurt someone.

Sasha often ran away. “When we arrive in Moscow, I will leave again,” he told me when we got to know each other a little better. "What are you going to live on?" “We will ask, they will give us.” “Is it better to live like that than in an orphanage?” “Better,” Sasha answered firmly.

I spent the whole summer with children who were deprived of their childhood by their own parents. In the orphanage, children do not laugh loudly and carelessly. This is how my three-year-old niece laughs, all the other children laugh. Here they smile at best. The huge brown eyes of five-year-old Denis never smiled. He learned to laugh only with his lips.

The pediatrician constantly "fed" him with vitamins - the baby did not grow well. In the dining room, he ate almost nothing: he picks at the plate with a fork, drinks compote and leaves. Educators have no time to mess with Deniska. Then I led the “fight against malnutrition”. She sat down next to her and watched the baby bring the spoon to his mouth more often. “If you don’t eat, I’ll take a spoon and feed you like a little one.” Five-year-old Denis considered himself big, therefore, choking, he swallowed table porridge. He liked to look into my room: I fed the baby with cookies and fruits, sometimes I read books ... By the end of the shift, Denis followed me around.

He, busily bending his tiny fingers, counted the days until my departure. Once, one hand was enough for him. “I won’t let you go,” said the kid. And as proof of the seriousness of his intentions, he closed his thin hands around my neck. “What do you mean I won’t let go? You know, they are waiting for me at home, and in general ... "" I will not let you go, because you are my mother!" Denis said calmly and confidently. He firmly knew that all children should have a mother. Why doesn't he? “Well, what kind of mother am I? Mom ... "- I hesitated and realized that I could not explain who a mother is. I ran into someone who didn't know this.

The “teachers” I encountered this summer did not at all resemble the kind and wise educators from Soviet films. They are affectionate only when a commission from the city government comes to the orphanage. They often talk about the fatal role of heredity and are sure that their pets will repeat the fate of their parents.

I well remember Elena Nikolaevna, a teacher, who proudly said about herself: “I worked in a leadership position for ten years. Everyone was always afraid of me." The orphanage is also afraid of her, so she considers herself a talented teacher. She had a loud, commanding voice. Obedience is more important to her than love.

Elena Nikolaevna scolded the five-year-old Dasha. The girl in a quiet hour, when all the children should sleep, fiddled with the doll. Elena Nikolaevna was at her best: she insulted the baby and did not choose expressions at all. Dasha wept softly, occasionally raising frightened eyes to the angry governess. She curled up into a ball, as if expecting a blow. I think the teacher enjoyed it. When Elena Nikolaevna finally got tired, I went into the room. The girl, wiping her tears with a tiny fist, crawled under the covers and covered her head. She was barely visible under the covers. "Dash..." I touched her on the shoulder. “Go away,” the little girl replied sharply. I have a feeling of guilt towards her.

I noticed that even the smallest orphans never complain. These children do not expect sympathy from the world around them. They hide their grief away from prying eyes. Toddlers sometimes roar in pain or resentment. Older children have another means of self-defense - to leave the orphanage, where they are humiliated and bullied. They cannot return to their parents, so they live on the street. They spend the night at train stations, beg, steal... Escape is the only visible way out for them.

COMMENTARY OF THE SPECIALIST

Candidate of Medical Sciences, Consultant Psychiatrist of the Khimki Orphanage for Children and Adolescents, Head of the Problem Laboratory of the Moscow State Humanitarian Boarding Institute GOLIK Arkady Nikolaevich:

— I give lectures for employees of boarding schools. Once I offered them a questionnaire where they had to indicate their age, specialty and place of work. It turned out that the average age of the educators to whom I lectured was 60 years old. Most of them did not have a pedagogical education. Moreover, we do not have such a specialization in pedagogical institutes - a worker in boarding schools. But most of all I was confused by the fact that they have been working in orphanages for more than 15 years. The Institute of Psychology assessed the emotional state of orphanage pupils, educators and students of pedagogical universities. The state of pupils and educators is close. At the other extreme were students who had not yet entered this system. I was embarrassed by the fact that these people have been working for more than 15 years, that is, they have experienced emotional leveling with their children. The second factor is the factor of emotional burnout in people who work with people for a long time. Emotional burnout was evident here. Only such monsters are kept in the orphanage.

Everyone is raising a child: educators, teachers, parents, cleaners, caretakers, the city government comes. But this teacher, this educator can be just as sick. After all, we always give our children the education that we ourselves received.

What role does heredity play?

As my studies have shown, not 100% of them have a mental pathology, although, as a rule, there are developmental delays. The idea that all these children are mentally ill comes from ignorance.

The question arises, does it always happen in a family that if the father is a drinker, the child will become the same? Moreover, an antithesis often arises: father and mother who drink, but children do not, become people. The employees of orphanages clearly lack special knowledge. They live according to such everyday stereotypes: the father is an alcoholic, and you will be an alcoholic.

Is it possible to overcome bad heredity?

Undoubtedly. Such a child needs to be supported in time. Maybe he does not even need to be treated, he needs a little help, then he will recover due to his internal reserves.

On the other hand, children run away because they want something of their own. In one orphanage where I worked, there was a family: a brother and two sisters. My brother was 8, my sisters were 6 and 4. As the children themselves said, their parents lost them at the Kazan railway station. For about six months they lived under the platform. The boy went out to beg every day, there was also petty theft, and then he brought everything to his sisters. When they were taken away, brought to the orphanage, washed, fed, this boy still continued to steal. He stole food from the kitchen, brought it and hid it under his pillow, and it was impossible to scold him for it. In fact, he acted the same as he did when he lived on the street. If the child lived in a family, he is not satisfied with life in an institution.