On football with Arkady Arkanov We have a tradition. Every time during sports competitions - the Olympics, world championships and just interesting football and hockey matches - we invite politicians and artists to the Novaya Gazeta bar....

On football with Arkady Arkanov

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we have a tradition. Every time during sports competitions - the Olympics, world championships and just interesting football and hockey matches - we invite politicians and artists to the Novaya Gazeta bar. Thus, a cozy corner becomes a sports bar, where, over a cup of coffee or a glass of red, the ups and downs of fights are discussed and, in general, they talk about life. So this time we decided to arrange a viewing of the Champions League match between Lokomotiv and Inter right in the editorial office. The satirist writer Arkady Arkanov, a fan with great experience, was invited as a guest of honor. “If the game is not fun, Arkady Mikhailovich will not let us get bored,” we thought.

Arkanov agreed almost without hesitation. “I don’t see any contraindications! - he answered cheerfully and modestly added: - You just need to call for me ... ”. What problems?! True, problems still arose. Due to heavy traffic jams, we were late for the start of the meeting. However, this did not bother Arkanov at all.

- P

The last time I enjoyed driving around Moscow was in 1980, during the Olympics. There were fewer cars, non-residents were not allowed into the capital. Bliss! Arkanov starts the conversation. Having amused us with anecdotes and stories from the life of artists, he returns to football:

- Lokomotiv, I feel, should win, you can't play badly at such a beautiful stadium, - Arkady Mikhailovich predicts, while we are standing at a traffic light.

"Do you play tote?"

— we excitedly asked the driver.

- No. Played before. I am generally a gambling person. But I prefer other games...

- Do you often go out to football or do you prefer to watch it on TV?

- I go if invited. Although infrequently. Matches often coincide with work… My friends offered to cheer for the national team at the match against Wales, but I don’t know if I can yet… The scumbags who come to the stadium to misbehave don’t scare me away, but football itself has changed…” the satirist said sadly.

Loskov's goal, scored in the second minute, we, of course, missed. “Nothing, the whole game is still ahead,” Arkanov did not lose heart professionally.

And exactly. Before we had time to open the bottles with juice and mineral water, Ovchinnikov tightly takes the ball after the hit by the Inter striker.

- I consider Ovchinnikov the best goalkeeper in our championship. Reliable, competent, self-confident, - notes Arkanov. - I can also single out Loskov, the dispatcher is what you need. It's nice to watch Buznikin's actions when he's in good shape.

Arkanov pauses and lights a cigarette. There are no pauses in the game. Here Khokhlov brings Ashvetiya to the shock position. Yevseev misses a good chance to hit the gate. The Italians do not have time to come to their senses, as Izmailov picks up the ball in the center of the field and rushes to the gates of Toldo, but, having beaten two defenders, misses his spotted friend in touch.

“But I don’t like Izmailov,” continues Arkady Mikhailovich. - I do not share all the enthusiasm for his game. Struggles, tries, but fusses too much ...

By the end of the half, the team of tycoon Massimo Moratti is activated and carries out a couple of sharp attacks. After hitting Rekoba, Arkanov grabs his head and exhales: "Lucky, the moment is right."

... It should be noted that Inter, like Real Madrid, is becoming a "favorite" club for Russian fans. Over the past five years, Italians have come to Belokamennaya for the third time. However, unlike Real Madrid, which over the years have been beaten by both Loko and Spartak, Interists have never left Moscow on the backboard. The alignment was such that only a victory allowed Loko to fight for a ticket to the next round ... The railway workers knew this very well and therefore, in the added two minutes, they tried to put the squeeze on pasta lovers. The referee's whistle caught Semin's wards in the attack. Arkanov lit another cigarette and drank orange juice.

- You are a longtime fan of Torpedo. Today, unfortunately, there are two. Which one are you more worried about?

- I catch myself thinking that I'm more worried about Luzhnikov's. After all, "Torpedo-Metallurg" has nothing to do with ZIL, as well as Luzhnikov's. Although if Tormet plays with someone, I root for him too.

- How do you assess the chances of "Torpedo" in the game with the Spanish "Villarreal" in the 1/32 finals of the UEFA Cup?

- If the torpedo men gather, then they are quite capable of passing this team. But I have little faith, given how they played with the Bulgarian CSKA. Their success will be a huge celebration for me. ... I am afraid, however, that I will not live to see the great victories of my beloved club and national team ...

- How can a former doctor diagnose Russian football and, in particular, the national team? Maybe the whole point is that the level of salaries is incomparable with the level of play of football players ...

“Medicine is powerless here. I will only say what the great Lobanovsky once explained to me: “The point is not how much a person receives, but to pay him exactly as much as he costs. The more I pay the player, - said Valery Vasilyevich, - the worse he will play. If you cost three rubles today, you have to enter the field for three rubles. But if you start playing for four rubles, then I will pay you four rubles. And if you cost a hundred rubles, and you are paid ten thousand, you will not play. That amount corrupts you."

The players are paid too much. Football players just go crazy from the apartments and cars that have fallen on them.

For example, I really like the system in tennis. The further you advance in the tournament, the more you get. This is a good approach, the right one… Our players are like representatives of pop music who have not achieved anything yet, but already have everything. Psychologically, they are not ready for this. The so-called pop star wakes up in the morning, and she has a foreign car at her entrance, which she did not deserve. And most importantly: the star does not understand that the reward does not correspond to her work.

The second half began. And in the very first attack, Ashvetia, after an excellent combination, scores the second goal. Arkanov smiles rather, which, in principle, happens infrequently.

— How do you like Ashvetia?

- A good player, technical, a real Georgian, in a word. Not Meskhi, of course. But the dribbler did everything beautifully. Yes, I did not expect this, - Arkady Mikhailovich honestly admits. - Naturally, I counted on winning, but two zero at the beginning of the second second half ...

After the goal, Loko seized the initiative, and every minute it became clear that the railroad workers would not miss their goal. In the Novaya Gazeta bar, beer flowed like water, and only Arkanov was still sipping orange juice.

- Do you agree that Lokomotiv has become a people's team today? After all, even Spartak was not supported by people the way Loko was…

- And Spartak was not, in my opinion, the superclub that Loko is now turning into! The red-greens gave the fans hope and justify their trust. This is a very stable team. Today we don't have a club, except for Loko, which plays without serious recessions. There is no club attachment now. Players move to where they pay more.

Arkanov does not have time to finish the phrase, as Khokhlov heads the third bomb into the gates of Inter.

- This is class! - exclaims Arkanov and again breaks into a smile.

Apparently, the general atmosphere was transferred to him, and the satirist wound up.

Still, there is justice in sports. "Inter" after all, not on business defeated "Arsenal" on their field! Yes, and "Dynamo" (Kyiv) beat only in the final ten minutes. And Loko now has much more chances to qualify from the group than before the start of the tournament. It's clear! "Inter" is simply dismantled! No thought in midfield! Where is Vieri? Does a superclub have the right to concede three goals!.. It's a superclub by name, but by the game... If I didn't know it was Inter, I would have thought it was Shinnik.

Meanwhile, Loko gets the right to a penalty kick.

- Will he score?

I ask Arkanov.

- The position is good. Let's see.

Loskov hits. The ball goes to the corner.

“It’s a pity,” Arkady Mikhailovich sighs. Could be a fourth...

- Now it is constantly said that half of the matches in the Russian championship are contractual. Football is part of life, and our life is corruption...

“Unfortunately, I also witnessed dishonest games. Anyone who says that there were no “agreements” before is lying. I was even present several times behind the scenes during such "negotiations". Teams, I'm sorry, I'll leave it a secret. In my opinion, this problem is unlikely to be solved. If organizations have been created in the West that deal with these problems, then in Russia there is no such system. Why? Question!

The match is coming to an end. When the commentator suggested that Loko was very close to winning, Arkanov grunted displeasedly:

- Well, what kind of nonsense? Our aces of the microphone will always freeze something. Either their victory is historic, or they will say that the eyes of the players did not burn ... Yes, they already won! I remember how Ozerov, commenting on the game of the USSR national hockey team (ours won 12: 0), said: “The most important thing in these remaining two minutes is not to miss 12 goals!” Jokers,” said Arkanov seriously. And then he added:

- Of course, I remember matches in the end of which four goals were scored. But today is not the game... Today is the day of Loko and not the day of Inter. The result is 100% correct. It is a pity that the meeting did not turn out to be double-edged. Inter did nothing. In the center of the field - a mess. Not a single normal pass for the entire match! Apparently, there are some internal problems in the team ...

The final whistle of referee Franz-Xaver Wack is drowned out by the roar of the journalists gathered in the bar. Everyone congratulates each other on the victory.

And Arkanov and I again return to the problem of the national team.

- Money is money, but the football demonstrated by the wards of Georgy Yartsev cannot leave a person indifferent?

- I think that with the advent of Yartsev, the game of the national team has not changed dramatically. I personally did not notice any special changes in tactics. He returned to the Mostovoy team - that's the whole novelty.

Well, Wales, what can we do?

- Hope. But by and large, the team is worthy to go to Portugal only for the reason that it was obliged to leave the group we were in.

Evening in the company of Arkady Arkanov flew by unnoticed. The writer did not joke, he spoke mainly about things that really excite him. And even when he was joking, he remained absolutely serious. Why be surprised: after all, all satirists are sad people by nature. Saying goodbye, Arkanov looked around the walls with photographs of individuals drinking in the Novaya Gazeta sports bar.

“What, hang me here now?” the humorist asked quietly.

- We will definitely hang

- seriously, in time with Arkanov, we answered.