He got married

How tolerant law makes people happy

The parting word for newlyweds is no different from heterosexual steam photo: Marie Astrid Jamois

In 2013, France became the 14th country of the world that legalized gay broca. In only six months since the adoption of the law, 7 thousand same -sex couples legitimized their relationship. One of these 14 thousand lucky was the correspondent of The New Times.

... The soft December sun stained the red walls of the Nice City Hall with a gently pink light, lazy pigeons perched on the windowsills in anticipation of rice, which will shower numerous newlyweds, in a small alley, a variety of people gathered in the fence of the City Hall: puffy ladies in open white dresses with crinolin are in the neighborhood of girls wrapped in hijabs, in hijabs, in hijabs, Some companies are already drinking champagne, in other alcohol there are not even at weddings - the usual picture for this Piglet in the center of the Old City on Saturdays.

Our little company with two suitors in tuxedos was lost in the crowd, so few people pay attention to us. In truth, many of the gay marks surrounding us probably do not approve: religion does not allow one, the other is simply conservative beliefs. But firstly, they are too busy with their holiday, and secondly, among our witnesses-a young woman (also in a tuxedo), which even the city hall employees take for the bride every now and then. The guard finds our surnames on the list and leads us to a small office for an employee of the city hall, who checks the documents of the grooms and witnesses and asks to sign in the book of visits. Again we go out into the courtyard, where a photographer from the local newspaper Nice Matin (“Morning Nice”) immediately flies to us and asks to pose for a photograph on Monday number. Every now and then you catch yourself thinking about some kind of unreality of what is happening. It’s not even strange that you get married, using a smile of fate, which hundreds of thousands of your compatriots in distant Russia are deprived of, which were not lucky enough to meet a native of the country with permitted gay brothers; It is not strange that about 15 years ago, hiding, as it seemed then, either sin or a disease from parents and friends, you could not imagine this day in the most daring dreams, and the fact that surrounding people behave as if nothing special was happening. "Go here while without guests", "All witnesses are in place?" “Sign here”, “Congratulations, all the best.” For them, you are one of the dozens of couples, daily passing before their eyes, and even in a tuxedo or in a hijaba, no one excites.

In the face of Marianne

After a short expectation in the courtyard, along with guests and witnesses, they are invited to the hall for ceremonies. High ceilings, strict oak panels on the walls, several rows of scarlet velvet seats, as in a small home theater, where the scenery has already been erected on the stage: a long wooden table with open leather folder and a press-party, as well as a pedestal on which there is a bust of Marianne, a national symbol of republican France. We occupy two central places in the front row, they differ from the rest with the backs in the form of a shell or maybe roses. KIC, of ​​course, but after all, present places rarely differ in taste. We are sitting and solemnly waiting, for some reason, the heart is pounding, as before the exam. You think about whether your Russian witness can answer French to the necessary questions, and that friends are strangely calmed down. Sometimes someone looks into heavy double doors, closes them again, someone comes in and straightens the papers on the table, leaves again. “The bride is probably waiting,” one of the guests jokes, finally violating the languid silence.

For them, you are one of the dozens of couples passing before their eyes, and even in a tuxedo or in a hijab, no one excites

And now, the deputy mayor of Nice rises to the elevation with the table and a bust - a middle -aged lady with glasses and a tweed jacket tied with a French tricolor. We get up, the deputy mayor sets us up for the importance of today's ceremony and reads individual chapters from the Civil Code on the rights and obligations of the spouses: we must respect each other, keep loyalty, take care of each other, bear responsibility for the family budget and raising children ... All this, however, also passes in some fog, you think not about the articles of the law, but about where to children who have been children uncomfortable hands. And finally, you yourself from the viewer become an actor when Madame Deputy mayor, carefully pronouncing the inconvenient sounds of the Russian name says: “Do you, Sergey Andreevich Khazov, agree to the legitimate spouses ...” And you answer “yes” with dry lips, to which Madame says: “Somehow you said quietly, it seems to me that your guests and witnesses did not hear that is the point of everything that happened. - "Yes, yes, of course, yes." We sign in the marriage certificate, exchange rings, kiss, Madame, the deputy gives us as a souvenir a metal tray on which our rings lay, a colorful album called “I said“ yes ”in Nice,” as well as a family book, on the central turn of which our names (“spouse” are written on both pages) and a mass of deserted empty ones is left) and the mass of empty Pages for data on future children. However, no, the Motherland does not leave here: since one of the spouses is a citizen of a country where gay marks are not recognized, we both sign paper, which indicates that we are marrying at our own peril and risk, realizing the possible consequences. “I can tell you one thing,” says Madame Deputy mayor, “the most important thing in a relationship is to speak to each other. You can never silence problems, everything needs to be discussed. ” “Yes, we have been together for nine years,” my husband now dissuades. “We will discuss this when you live together for 30 years,” Madame remarks with a smile.

Happiness in detail

Whatever the cynics that I had used to say, but marriage is, of course, primarily a sense of happiness. The non-worship, infernal, narcotic happiness that quickly passes, shaded by everyday life, work, weather, but which is never forgotten, remaining in the heart, ready to flush, you just have to open the hidden memory doors. However, in addition to sentiments, there are also very specific advantages that homosexuals of different countries achieve with the introduction of gay brothers. Spouses can use tax benefits, since they are considered as a single tax unit, the issues of the inheritance and division of property during divorce are regulated (this issue, however, in the West it is customary to prescribe in advance in the marriage contract); The spouse can dispose of the treatment of his husband or wife, if he is not able to decide for himself; Finally, the spouses receive the right not to testify against each other in court. And yes, of course, gay pairs get the opportunity to adopt children or just raise their own, so both spouses are considered parents by law. This has nothing to do with the feelings, you can love children, regardless of what is written in their metric, but how much the life of a family is simplified in which both parents can travel with children, go to parent meetings, make decisions about the education and treatment of their children, not thinking that one of the spouses on the papers is a completely alien person and you need to constantly think about the powers or just have an “official” parent at hand. All these are things that heterosexual couples often do not pay attention to, but it is they who make life easier, and people are happier.

Any holiday ends sooner or later, and after champagne, congratulations and the Mediterranean breeze you have to return to snowy Moscow, where everything that has past sometimes seems to be a scene from a foreign film. And only when answering the question of marital status in the questionnaire for a new French visa, you are happy to put a checkmark under the word “marié”, remembering, however, for Russia you are still single.

First published in NT No. 1 of January 20, 2014