Why are they silent?

It would seem that it is easier: to find in a big city people who adopted a child and write down their story. Especially if there are families with adopted children among friends. But alas. At the request to talk about how this happened, almost everyone responds with a refusal. And you can understand them. The path from the decision to take an orphan from the orphanage to the family before its implementation is so thorny that I do not want to repeat it even in memories.

First of all, those who decide to such a serious step awaits the "queue" to adopt. Although 18-20 thousand children live in the child’s homes today, getting into the number of potential adoptive parents is not so simple. The gloomy ladies from the guardianship authorities, not much different from their Soviet predecessors, solve this issue. And potential parents find themselves in full dependence. I liked it - they will help. No - they will find a thousand prepositions to refuse. For example, deciding that you have to go on business trips too often.

The waiting list receives a "medical direction for the examination of a citizen who wants to adopt a child" and begin running around the doctors. Potential parents should receive the "good" of the therapist, infectious disease specialist, venereologist, phthisitor, neuropathologist, oncologist, psychiatrist and narcologist. You can fulfill this reasonable requirement on a reasonable time by taking a vacation. Specialist doctors work in different dispensaries, the path from one point to the other is not short, and it has long hours to wait in the corridor. So getting two "checkmarks" on one day is almost impossible. In addition, future parents must bring certificates to the position and salary to the guardianship authorities, an act of survey of housing conditions, documents confirming the ownership of housing.

But the documents are collected, and you can calmly wait for your turn. As a rule, it takes about a year and a half. During this time, parents are selected a suitable candidate for children. And here they are in wait for new surprises. In the child, whom they met, who had already managed to attach to, can at the last moment be discovered by relatives who wished to issue custody. And although the declared family is often not much different from mom and dad, from whom the child has already been taken away, preference will not be given to the adoptive parents, but to her.

Finally, troubles behind, the court took place, the foster parents took the child home. But the adventures of many are just beginning. At any time, an inspector for childhood protection may appear in the house - the king and God, who is given to decide whether the parents correspond to the position. The adoptive parents receive benefits for children - on average from 500 to 900 rubles, in the capital about 2000 thousand rubles. This "huge" amount gives the foundation to many inspectors refers to the adoptive parents as their subordinates. Some are lucky: the inspector, based on common sense, looks at whether the child is good in the new family. But often the inspector studies the contents of the refrigerator, looks into the pan and suspiciously asks: why is a son or daughter not fed meat. The state, by the way, pays you money. And if you get into trouble with the answer, the result may be deplorable. Raise the question of returning the child to the orphanage - for the inspector one minute.

Interview with adoptive parents - B Vyatnik, June 1999