Water tank tool

You can’t even remember when chess players simply played chess without any scandals. Quiet, intelligent game - and sheer lewdness. The last third of a century for sure.

It started with Fischer. While still playing in Reykjavik with Spassky, he refused to take part in one of the games and received a technical defeat, and the score, by the way, was at the start, as it is now, 0:2. But Fischer was so strong that he could give anyone a head start almost always. He was the champion, but then abandoned the match with Karpov, and Karpov became world champion without a game. Then there were Karpov and Korchnoi, then Karpov and Kasparov. And in the last 13 years, after Kasparov’s break with FIDE, chess has completely turned into one endless scandal. One way or another, all the leading grandmasters of the world were offended by each other, by FIDE and God knows who else.

The number of “versions” by which champions were identified without a reference book cannot be counted. At one point, four people considered themselves world champions! Attempts at unification were made and invariably failed so regularly that in the end the only argument left in favor of such a unification was that it would take place only because it was simply inevitable. But inevitably does not mean immediately. The inevitable can happen even after a thousand years.

And then a miracle happened. Truly a miracle, because the match between Topalov and Kramnik is the result of a huge number of unimaginable mutual compromises! Some of which are unprecedented in the entire history of chess. And so the participants made their first moves and the chess people finally believed in their happiness. The turmoil is over!

But someone has apparently jinxed chess. And now, at any moment, the Topalov-Kramnik match can either be canceled altogether, or, on the contrary, successfully continued. It can lengthen, move, freeze for some time. Perhaps at these moments his fate was already decided. But even with the most favorable turn of events, the toilet scandal cannot be erased from the match. And this match will go down in history as a toilet match. And the champion will be called not united, but outhouse. So you'll have to delve into someone else's latrine, sorry.

So why did the Bulgarians stick to this toilet? Formally, their demands cannot be called absurd—it’s surreal—to close the toilet and not let your opponent in! Then, when the toilets were about to be reopened, the instigator of the scandal - Topalov's manager Silvio Danailov - said that Kramnik's demand to open the toilet was absolutely unacceptable! What is this? Why can't you go to the toilet? Yes, because Danailov actually accuses Kramnik of using tips during the games! This is not stated directly anywhere, but this is exactly what is meant. There really are no surveillance cameras in the toilets of the players' lounges; theoretically, you can really do whatever you want there in complete privacy.

But these are just assumptions. Let's skip all the obscenities on the "water-tank" topic and just look at the board! The main evidence of Kramnik’s cheating must be found on the board, in his game! Otherwise, why does he need tips? And Kramnik played, let’s say, “B” in the first four games - not brilliantly, but decently. There were no sudden “insights” or suspicious plot twists in Kramnik’s favor. Yes, by all accounts, Topalov looked more interesting. And yet, he lost. But he lost solely due to his own stupidity. In one of the lost games, the Bulgarian missed the checkmate in two moves, which would have been seen by an ordinary breaker! But Topalov didn’t see it! And after a series of missteps, he lost completely. And Veselin made plenty of such “unforced errors,” as they say in tennis, at the start. Then what does Kramnik’s “toilet tricks” have to do with it?

Topalov is clearly not in the best shape. He lost the opening two games and achieved only draws in the next two. He only has eight games left to at least level the score. Kramnik is an unsurpassed master of defensive play. Kasparov himself failed to break through Kramnikov's defense in their match. That is, Topalov had almost no chance of salvation. And then his team went not just for a provocation, but for a completely disgusting provocation! Now you will understand why.

Point by point. Danailov claims that Kramnik went to the toilet on average up to 50 times during each game. The immediate question is: where did he get such information? According to the regulations, only the chief referee can monitor the players in the rest rooms, but certainly not the opposing team! The second question: if Kramnik runs for clues 50 times per game (and this is exactly what is meant), does this Kramnik even know how to play chess? After all, it turns out that he cannot make almost a single move on his own without a cheat sheet! By the way, the Appeal Committee, now retired, nevertheless noted that the number 50 was clearly too high. Third question: isn’t it strange that Danailov made such a gross mistake in his calculations when drawing up the protest?

Below are a few comments. Regarding safety and ensuring fair playing conditions. In Elista, simply exceptional measures have been taken. A special field has been created around the stage, preventing the reception and transmission of electronic signals. The players themselves and members of their teams are searched before games, and their rest rooms are also scrupulously inspected. Moreover, at first the opponents changed rooms after each game! How could Kramnik take something with him and hide it in the toilet? But at the end of the day, if these measures are not enough, other measures can be taken. They are not spies, but chess players: if Kramnik had something illegal, they would have found it on him.

The Appeal Committee really followed the Bulgarians' lead, deciding to lock private toilets and obliging grandmasters to go to the common one. And when Kramnik considered this a violation of the contract, which stipulates the provision of rest rooms and toilets to the players, the committee found fault with the letter! “Rooms and toilets,” they say, does not mean that we are talking about “rooms with toilets.” And what about? It is clear that there is some kind of toilet in the building, one way or another. There is no need to indicate this in the contract - the game is not taking place in an open field and not in a barn. Of course, the toilet was meant to be personal. In general, there are many people who cannot go to public toilets! They are disdainful!

But all this does not answer the main question: why does Kramnik go to the toilet so often? A normal healthy person doesn’t pee that often! As Gruzdev said: “That’s the question! You’re hitting me on the spot with this question!” And as Zheglov said: “So a gun outweighs a thousand other pieces of evidence!” There is an answer to this question. I think that Topalov’s team knows this answer very well, which is why they asked their question. Kramnik will never give an answer to this question, this was the whole calculation. They wanted to humiliate a person and profit from his humiliation. But the truth on such a delicate issue must still come out.

Everyone knows very well that in the last couple of years Kramnik has not been playing at his full strength. His results were sometimes depressing and did not in any way correspond to the title of “world champion in the classical version.” They said that he was seriously ill and had to undergo treatment for a very long time, and the treatment, again, did not give any noticeable improvement for quite a long time. But, of course, the press did not specify what illness Kramnik was suffering from and what he was being treated for. In my opinion, this is correct.

When the scandal reached its climax, the famous French grandmaster and chess figure Joël Lautier, who speaks excellent Russian (that is, simply fantastically well!) and knows Kramnik closely, who lives most of the time in Paris, called us at Echo of Moscow. And Lautier, having apologized a hundred times, said that the very disease that was vaguely written and talked about, unfortunately, leads, among other things, to frequent visits to the toilet. In moments of nervous tension this can become very aggravated. I, in turn, apologize to Vladimir Kramnik for writing about this, knowing full well how unpleasant it is for a man, or indeed for any person. And of course, he won’t talk about it to the whole world! The Bulgarians knew all this very well! I have no doubt about it! And they decided to strike the most vile of all possible blows - below the belt! And Topalov also added that he would not shake hands with Kramnik! And Danailov was indignant at why the recording of Kramnik’s multiple trips to the toilet was not shown to all accredited journalists!

Frankly, Topalov and his team should be disqualified for violating ethical standards of conduct and principles of wrestling. They already received one point without playing (the score at the time of writing was formally 3:2). But Kramnik’s positions are quite significant. HE leads the score and HE was insulted. He is the moral winner of the match, even if no more moves are made in it.

But the process of unifying the chess world is again being delayed indefinitely. There was another huge scandal, more people were offended and dissatisfied. We will remember the next versions, according to which, playing separately from each other, the next grandmasters will proclaim themselves champions.