From nonsense to nonsense

Russian Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov is known for his harsh and unambiguous language. Words like “nonsense”, “bullshit”, “complete nonsense” and “insanity” are uttered by him at least once a month.

Either he will explain to his Estonian colleague that Russians are not like aliens, then he will attack little Lithuania, protecting Major Troyanov, who heroically got lost on its territory, or he will angrily reject suspicions that GRU officers in Georgia are engaged in espionage (well, of course, this is nonsense and It’s insanity to claim that officers of the Main Intelligence Directorate are engaged in reconnaissance - shouldn’t Ivanov know?).

It must be said that all these harsh statements about the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, etc. have something in common. All of them are directed against countries with which Russia has no serious conflicts.

Not so if you try to find statements from the Minister of Defense about countries and situations with which Russia has problems.

Old Man Lukashenko, having knocked out Russia (in fact, we agreed to all his demands and even in money for gas we receive the same $46 per thousand cubic meters, getting the rest with Beltransgaz candy wrappers), he has acquired a taste for it and is rolling out new claims to Russia. Either he demands that the government collect $3.5 billion from Russia, or he threatens to declare an all-out war “on refrigerators, tractors, televisions,” or he reminds of Russia’s “military services,” which cost Belarus a pretty penny.

In this situation, I would like to hear the opinion of Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov about Belarus. Just for the sake of decency: when the dictator of a country that is a zone of strategic interests of Russia and is supported by it behaves not like a puppet, but like a “roof,” I would like to hear what the Minister of Defense thinks about this. Because the introduction of troops into a country that is a zone of vital interests of any other country is determined by only one parameter: the possible success or failure of the operation.

The Minister of Defense doesn’t say a word about Belarus. Russia does not have such a problem. But it would be interesting to hear what the minister thinks about at least “military services,” which Lukashenko estimated at $25 billion back in 2003. And the only services are a radar station in Baranovichi (Russia rents a similar Gabala radar station in Azerbaijan for $7 million a year) and a naval communications center in Vileyka, which relays a signal to submarines in the Atlantic.

And I would like to hear from the Ministry of Defense: if Baranovichi and Vileika are so indispensable for us, then why, during all these years of growing conflict with Belarus (and that the conflict would be extremely acute, it was clear already from 2003, when Putin almost cut off the gas to Belarusians ) - Why hasn’t the Ministry of Defense duplicated, for example, Vileika in Kaliningrad over all these years? Is it really that expensive? Is it really more expensive than the $700 million that Belarus received from us as a gift, purchasing the S-300 not at the export price of $180 million, but at the domestic price of $13 million?

Or, let's say, China. China is not an eccentric Old Man. This is a superpower of the 21st century, a great empire and a great people, which the American military, for example, until recently considered as its strategic enemy. (Now they gave up - they realized that they couldn’t overcome this with war.) China launched a ballistic missile and shot down its satellite in space. Defense Secretary's response: These are "abstract" messages that have no "anti-satellite basis."

God have mercy, here's a rocket, here's a satellite. What is “abstract” here? The rocket took and shot down the satellite. Why is there no “anti-satellite framework” here? What is this foundation? Stone? Copper? A week later, President Putin talks about this satellite and no longer says anything about the “base”, but only warns China. It would be more logical to warn China by firing the minister first - to repair the “anti-satellite base.”

Or, let’s say, the North Caucasus. I would like to hear something specific from the Minister of Defense about the North Caucasus. It’s as specific as the one about “aliens” in Estonia and the “bastard” in the Czech Republic. For example, the 58th Army stands in the Dzheirakh Gorge - tanks are firing at the ancestral towers of the Ingush, soldiers are posing with the bones of their ancestors in their hands. I would like to hear whether this contributes to stabilization in the North Caucasus or not? Or maybe missiles arrived from somewhere in December and crashed through the village of Sharoy-Argun - I would like to hear from the Minister of Defense where they came from (let’s say, from the USA) and how they contribute to stabilization. Or about Colonel Budanov - I would also like to hear something specific. But the Minister of Defense does not speak about Dzheirakh, or Shatoi-Argun, or Borozdinovka as judiciously and specifically as, say, about Georgia’s intention to join NATO: “it’s not harmful to want.”

True, he once amazed journalists with the remark that the situation in the North Caucasus was similar to the situation in Kashmir. Do you know what? International terrorists operate in both places. And they penetrate from abroad. And they live on foreign money.

Well, it’s natural, right? Here the Ingush looks at the soldiers in Dzheirakh, with bones in their hands, and then picks up a machine gun. Why is a well-known fact. Because of foreign money.

Of course, I understand that it is not only the Minister of Defense who is to blame for the state of our army. But there are two types of bosses. Some – professionals – solve problems. Others - non-professionals - find someone to blame. And it’s not difficult to guess what Minister Ivanov will say in the Heavenly Duma, where he will someday be summoned for the Government Hour. Firstly, he will say, there is no hazing in the Russian army. Secondly, it’s not me who is to blame, but the kindergarten.