Major Glenn's children

The “Glenn Miller Orchestra” that visited us are professional entertainers performing their duties at the level of a couple of medleys, a Mozart Turkish rondo played on the lips, and Louis Armstrong imitations faded from constant use (Photo: Pavel Gorshkov )

Even those who know nothing about jazz know the name Glenn Miller. Because his orchestra represents World War II jazz the same way Louis Armstrong represents '20s jazz and Dave Brubeck represents '50s jazz. After the war, our cinemas easily fulfilled the plan, launching a couple of captured musical comedies (primarily “Sun Valley Serenade”, filmed in 1941). Based on whether excerpts from “Serenade” would be shown in the New Year’s musical program or not, the generation of the 50s and 60s determined whether the next “clamp” in culture would come or not.

Until the mid-30s, Glenn Miller (he was born in 1904), a more or less successful trombonist who studied a little at the University of Colorado, made his living mainly by doing odd jobs (they say he accompanied Armstrong, recorded with the Chicago retro band "Red Nichols' Five Pennies" ). And he only made it into the public eye in 1935, when he received a position as an assistant to the popular British pop conductor Ray Noble, who decided to try his luck in New York. Noble was an excellent pop conductor of the European school; Miller learned a lot from him and after a couple of years decided that it was time for him to become a leader. In 1937, he assembled his own orchestra, which within a year became famous.

There is such a book “Jazz Anecdotes” - something like the folklore of jazzmen. But there is not a single story that concerns the legendary Glenn Miller in this book. The only fact that it mentions is that Miller was the first to feel the need to "electrify" and had his trumpeter Bobby Hackett play electric guitar, just as trombonist Durham had done in Count Basie's orchestra. Hackett could not disobey and was forced to carry with him a heavy device the size of a rural cinema mobile, which he never turned on - Miller was quite satisfied that the bulky design gave the orchestra a stylish look. And that's what Glenn Miller is all about.

Some jazzmen of the time did not consider his orchestra to be jazz at all, since Miller kept improvisation to a minimum. He was the first to understand that the era of hit parades and stage image was coming. Tex Beneke, a saxophonist and singer, performer of the same “Chattanooga Choo-Choo” from “Sun Valley Serenade,” recalled that Miller greedily pounced on hit lists, not only to stroke his vanity, but also to determine the conditions of the music market .

Miller was definitely not a virtuoso performer. Although he was photographed and shown in films only with a trombone, during the entire concert he might never have picked up the instrument. By and large, a composer too. But it could be. Once, while still in the orchestra of the British Noble, he sketched out an etude to “warm up” the trombones, later combining it with his signature orchestration technique (the famous “crystal choir” for sensual saxophones and noble clarinet). The result was "Moonlight Serenade" - the leitmotif of the film "Orchestra Wives", an autobiographical sequel to "Sun Valley Serenade". In it, Miller is very similar to himself: the businessman leader greets each new woman in the orchestra with an expensive gift - a tortoiseshell powder compact. Then it turns out that he bought a dozen at once at some sale. “Moonlight Serenade” seems to be the only hit of his own composition. All the other hits of the orchestra were composed and arranged by others - “In the Mood” (to which we danced rock and roll in the 50s, for lack of anything else), the Irish dance song “Brown Jug”, the patriotic march “American Patrol”, the exotic Tuxedo Junction (something like “Dancing in a Tuxedo at a Bus Transfer Station”), borrowed from the repertoire of the Erskine Hawkins Negro Orchestra, and in the 80s became a super hit for the vocal group Manhattan Transfer.

Miller's merit lies elsewhere. He is a born producer, an image maker like Leonid Utesov or Bari Alibasov. Miller personally checked whether all the musicians' buttons were buttoned, how many inches the white handkerchiefs protruded from the breast pockets of their neat jackets. Throughout the entire concert, the orchestra members had to sit with their backs straight, and God forbid they should cross their legs! Miller was the first to force orchestra members to learn the entire program by heart, sometimes in two or three days. But it made an irresistible impression on his colleagues. Eventually, other dance orchestras began to play (or, rather, pretend to play) without looking at the notes. For the same reason, he could not allow gags and did not allow the musicians to improvise solos, although he had very decent soloists in the orchestra.

When the war began, Miller signed up to volunteer. Despite his popularity, he was not allowed to take his orchestra with him. Miller barely managed to recruit decent musicians (among whom were future avant-garde composer Mel Powell and drummer and singer Ray McKinley). So Captain (and then Major) Miller's Air Force Band is a completely different group.

In December 1944, Miller flew on a single-engine plane from England to Paris to arrange concerts in liberated France. He was never seen again. Of course, everyone decided that the small plane had been destroyed by an enemy fighter. However, it is now considered almost proven that on December 15, 1944, the Germans did not fly over the English Channel, and the plane with the musician was apparently mistakenly shot down by their own. But an even more sensational version was put forward in 1997 by the German weekly Bild: according to German intelligence, the maestro allegedly calmly reached France and died “of a heart attack in a Parisian brothel.”

One way or another, the Air Force Orchestra was orphaned, it was led by drummer Ray McKinley. In the mid-50s, the Glenn Miller Estate, founded by the musician’s heirs, commissioned him to recreate the legendary big band. In the 60s it was led by the outstanding jazz clarinetist Buddy de Franco. This orchestra, with different leaders, exists to this day (by the way, it came to us five years ago for the military big bands festival).

So Miller dies young, under mysterious circumstances. This was enough for the newly-minted “children of Lieutenant Schmidt”, or more precisely, the “sons and grandchildren” of Major Miller, to begin to grow like mushrooms. As soon as the musician who played for Buddy de Franco appeared in Australia in 1995, his own “Glenn Miller Orchestra” appeared there. But even earlier, in 1988, a convention was concluded “on the division of territories” (similar to the one that was violated by the goose lover Panikovsky).

The British Glenn Miller Orchestra, which is now on tour in Moscow, was apparently one of those who shared territories with similar groups (having bought the right to use the brand in Europe from the Glenn Miller Estate). Therefore, it was obliged to add two letters to its name - UK, that is, “United Kingdom”. What the organizers of the tour allegedly did not do due to inexperience (but in the advertising campaign they made full use of the American flag, which, however, they were forced to remove before the concert).

At the press conference, it became clear that for a start-up agency, a scandal is an excellent publicity stunt. Because “The best jazz show of all time” (as it is written on all the billboards and banners that have filled Moscow) from the point of view of art is zero. The "Orchestra" that visited us are professional entertainers performing their duties at the level of a couple of medleys, Mozart's Turkish Rondo, played on the lips, and Louis Armstrong's imitations, faded from constant use. Although the orchestra players and vocalists (the voiceless Jan Messenger and the imposing Colin Anthony) professionally asked for applause, the audience perked up only at the end - to the familiar sounds of “Porlyushka-Polya” (fortunately, Miller often played Allied classics during the war years). However, not everyone waited for this: two or three numbers before the final, the already small audience reached for the exit. She's not that stupid of us. And although she still falls for impostors, she is still able to distinguish mediocrity from talent.