Grigory Dashevsky: By the Ninth Day

Grigory Dashevsky

Thank you wide winged eagles.
Rushing to the deepest heavenly corners,
you break the feathers of the wings,
You will die for the squadron of the squadron,
breaking out of indestructible heavenly honeycombs
ice at least grain to a person in a mouth -
And he lives another moment.

1 Dec <Arab> 2013

The last eldest

Despite the greater difference in age, I perceived Grisha as the eldest, so I treated him. This happened, of course, not immediately. In the first years of acquaintance, in the late eighties, - and even with his half -loud appearance - he, of course, was listed in the younger ones. But by the beginning of the nineties, Grisha somehow sharply matured, matured; And only a new expression, which sometimes appeared in his eyes, something said about how much such a rapid growing up is given. It was then that he began to develop us and quickly succeeded in this.

Maybe that's why their words about him seem immature about him, I would like to entrust the statement to someone else-even the older one. Here is a quote from the book of Hannah Arenidt, translated by Grisha, as if guessing the future translator - about light, "which some people, in their lives and in their works, are lit in almost any circumstances and who cover the term allotted on the ground."

The fact that Grisha belongs to these “some people” was clear in addition to the efforts of speculation, it is enough to have eyes. Everyone who remembers him now speaks of such an eye, about some kind of enlightenment of his appearance, combining completely opposite to the inseparable unity: fragility and unbending; funnyness and seriousness; Lightness and constant titanic effort. They also recall his implausible courage. Over the years, it was this impression that blocked the rest, filling out the whole idea of ​​him.

In my memory, Grisha only complained once - and not to his health, but to a decrease in working capacity. They say that he never complained about health at all, which is almost impossible to imagine. In response to inevitable questions, only the most mean facts followed with an emphasis on the pattern of what was happening. Even the last, very short, a message from the hospital (11/27/13) ended in the words "everything seems to be according to plan."

He did not allow misfortune to dispose of his life. After endless hospitals, he almost immediately joined the work, in a common life. Only the lips became more accurate, the brushes are thinner, and sometimes the gaze was like a bleached sun through a cloud. In the bad periods, the eyes and eyes were pale and; The iris became more transparent, like the pain living in it took not only strength, but also colors.

Around the same, at the beginning of the nineties, I realized for myself that you should not only listen to Grishina marvelous speech, but also listen to it. As this is characteristic of truly smart people, Grisha never insisted on his own mind (but it was very noticeable, caught my eye), and in general, things as mind or talent, appreciated not in the first place. The main thing for him was some other plan where different talents of a person blocks his whole, integrity. But in Grisha itself these plans converged. His rare obligation without references to special circumstances seemed to be a consequence of intellectual discipline, and friendly devotion contained something very strict, unshakable; Some lesson. The same inviolability was felt in his judgments, only this concerned not specific actions and circumstances, but the basic concepts of the human, about a person.

It was impossible to predict his reaction to current events. More precisely, it was never possible to guess the place from which it emanated. It was this place, having revealed, that turned out to be the most advantageous - the most illuminated to understand.

It was some kind of infinitely sound mind; Not just clear, but clarifying - a light source of such strength that the most dense fog breaks through. His view of things had a direction (always direct) and speed that really distinguishes him with a light ray. The speed of his thoughts was natural, no acceleration was required. He answered any question as if only about this and thought all the last time. This was each time a lesson, albeit taught by hopeless students. Grisha should have learned another thing: an absolutely sober look - as if from the side - on their own understanding. If this is humility, then in technology, not essentially.

His articles became similar “detection of a place”. Their value was obvious immediately (as is the case with a true event), but still not fully evaluated. This statement is always unexpected, always revealing some rapid clarity, still enhanced by impeccably even tone and special classical lapidarity, economical. In these texts, all words went into business. Grisha was hostile to the game with the words. “Verkhny” - this is his word.

In the verses, Grisha allowed himself what he did not allow in life, and they should talk about them in a different way. These verses themselves are the key themselves, they open some door that no one suspected about, and consist of a substance, before our poetry of the unknown; It includes merciless sobriety. Behind them is some kind of “smile”, which is very difficult to see, it is difficult to think about it. Grishin is recalling a look in some seconds, the power of which he could not (or did not want) to restrain.

"Extract / ghost, the habit of looking without tears." I first read this poem on a Paris card written by Grisha shortly before his terrible operation.

He is highlighted in memory so brightly that I almost see him somewhere nearby. For the most part, Grisha is remembering laughing. Even telephone conversations were somehow lit by this laughter. His jokes wanted to remember and preserve for eternity. But I understand now that I have always drove the desire to write down something after him or about him; He was afraid that the ghost of the future necrologist treacherously loomed for such a desire. I hoped that this would not happen - during my life.

But the genius of speech and behavior is still impossible to record. Those who knew him or just saw him are happy. Who heard his precious voice.

At the thought of him, the words “bright memory” sound extremely literally. There is no spot in this memory, and from there there really is light, very similar to the radiance.

Mikhail Aizenberg