News through the eyes of poets

There are plans to install carrot machines in Latvian schools. The corresponding idea was approved by the Ministry of Health on September 25. The Ministry of Health believes that this will be an excellent alternative to vending machines with chips, chocolates and other harmful products that are banned in schools. As Novo News reports, for now they plan to sell only carrots in the vending machines, but over time, schoolchildren will be able to purchase radishes.

Operation of the Large Hadron Collider was stopped due to electrical problems, FP reports citing a message from the European Center for Nuclear Research. A CERN spokesman said electrical problems had affected the collider's cooling system.

***

From now on, carrots don't grow on trees:

Another era, different things,

And other children through the school doors

They're walking - how long ago did their mother give birth?

And we, old people, remember the past:

Do you remember we had collective farms,

We dug chips, we weeded roach,

In the fall we sowed pineapple,

We collected fresh rolls in the forest,

Yes, in those days life seemed simple,

A couple of girls were driving around on a tractor,

While driving by, I pick condoms from a bush.

And now, my friend, shaking my head,

You tear the wrapper off the sleek sausages:

Of course, city life is more convenient,

There are vending machines all around, and beer, and kvass,

And the schoolboy calmly goes to the machine,

He’s already reaching for the sparkling buttons...

We once picked carrots like these

For our friends, from the moving crowns.

Julia Fridman

***

As long as X is raised to the nth power

Orange incisors gnaw at a green stem,

Voices are heard from the recreation area.

The diaries are closed, home assignments have been received.

And a stuffed owl, facing the desks with its back,

He closes his eyes with relief.

From the dark office, where the head teacher and director,

A huge short-tailed rat comes out,

Humming to myself.

Behind the polished vitamin bar counter

A well-fed capybara awaits her

And the lemming carries a tray.

Caught meat-eaters in reforging reasoning

They go north to cultivate the carrot fields;

Repeat offenders receive the death penalty.

The kingdom of rodents is cooler than Campanella:

Defeat brucellosis, yeast and salmonella,

Not to mention hydrophobia.

An incorrigible criminal on the outskirts of Riga

To fry steaks purchased from a dealer,

Looking around, he lights the fireplace.

Advance troops of the war mouse

They surround the house, going down the roof,

And there is a soft knock on the door.

Luke of Leiden

***

We will win

Darling! Do you remember in the wind

did we stand without feeling a chill?

How we both burned with the same passion!..

Is tomorrow really going to be a black hole?

The game of improbabilities brought together

in the space of us and time - really

madmen, alien to humanity,

will they accomplish their scientific deeds?

Autumn air is cold and clean.

Entwined with the collider, like a snake,

Geneva is sleeping. But don’t we understand:

The most dangerous of all are those who are sweet and talkative.

Inaction is the greatest misfortune.

I will extend the moments of happiness for a day.

Here's the tool: wire cutters, electrical tape...

Tremble, hadronic! I cut wires.

Ishmael Ishmaelev

***

Proton acceleration is offside,

The screens flickered with sadness...

The Greatest Hadron Collider

De-energized by a cruel hand.

For the sleepy electricians there

They turned out to be worse than all the evils

Boilers of Russian scientists,

Those who came to work at CERN.

But while this continues -

The core will not explode,

And our unfortunate planet

It won't fall to hell, into a hole.

Everything is intact - from Tibet to Chile,

Both an abrek and a pirate in Somalia...

The TANK has been ruined! TANK has been turned off!

Our teapots saved the Earth.

Sergey Shorgin

Based on materials from Polit.ru