God the Son - Father and Husband

Today the sky will fall to Earth and the Danube will flow backwards! Today, around the world, millions of people will storm the box office to watch The Da Vinci Code. All fundraising records will be broken, at least in the first days. But even if the film turns out to be such bullshit, as claimed by 2 thousand journalists in Cannes, who en masse booed it after the pre-premiere screening, hundreds of millions of dollars will still be guaranteed to the filmmakers. And I thought: how, in essence, people need a little. The time for real masterpieces has passed and, I'm afraid, will not return.

A hitherto not very successful writer appears and composes a fairy tale about a bespectacled boy and flying on a broomstick, and with this fairy tale she earns a billion in several episodes! She will never write anything else again, because no one needs anything else from her. Humanity is waiting for the sixth, seventh, eighth, twenty-eighth part of the adventures of Harry Potter, until his very old age. And JK Rowling will write about Harry if she doesn’t want to be forgotten and her books stopped being read. If he wants to earn a second billion.

For Dan Brown in this sense, of course, it is much more difficult. He is writing a fictional story about a historical figure and he cannot turn the life of Christ into a multi-part action movie, and Jesus cannot live to a ripe old age either. But this writer will make his money from this work. It doesn't really matter whether the book is really good. It is enough that it is about the Lord God, who, it turns out, also had a wife and children.

This one suggestion in the advertising video is enough to buy and read, and then go to the cinema, and then buy the DVD. Or just to the movies and DVDs, without reading, but knowing that the movie is based on the very book that everyone is talking about, you’re too lazy to read, but sitting and watching for two and a half hours in the theater is just right. Moreover, the Vatican is against the show, and our Orthodox Christians are fighting - well, how can you not go? I wonder what the fuss is about.

The Holy Fathers are also great. It is clear that the more thunder they throw, the higher the circulation and collections will be. The church became Brown's best promoter. It is the forbidden fruit that is sweet. And then, it’s even somehow awkward to explain that a work of fiction differs from a documentary. And it cannot be taken as a historical or theological proclamation, as a political act, or the like. This means there is nothing to refute here. Accusing the author of making it all up when it’s clear that he made it all up (I remembered a similar case when the FSB suddenly, out of some fright, began to refute the film “Bastards”, saying that there were no such intelligence-security schools. Yes, she denied it so zealously that I began to doubt - what if there were?!).

The Church needs to understand that in the Christian world (not the Muslim!) the attitude towards religion is increasingly relaxed. So in Russia there seem to be more and more believers, but there are fewer and fewer real believers. Therefore, it is not shameful to make a name for yourself and money for yourself in His name. For complete happiness, the average person needs a little. He demolishes counters and cash registers at the sight of the most simple plots. And noble criticism has not gone too far from the average person. To delight reviewers, it is advisable to make a film about the problems of an African-American, and even better, an African-American woman, who is also a lesbian, a disabled person and a single mother left without work. All requirements of political correctness are met.

Remember who has received Oscars and for what in recent years, and who gets nominated in general? Either AIDS patients, or the mentally retarded, or a crazy mathematician, or homosexual cowboys. This year, the Oscar was given to the film “Crash,” which was just recently shown on TV, which in itself is not in its favor: since it was released on the big screen so early, it means that it will no longer be able to collect money in theaters.

And what did we see? Blacks hate whites, whites hate blacks. Corrupt cops, juvenile drug addicts and general hatred. I don’t know, maybe this is what America is primarily concerned about, but such a champion of cinema, at least, looks strange.

The bottom line is that we have a Bible in fantasy style, racism in the comic book genre, protesting Orthodox youth of some kind of semi-criminal type, morality-observing holy fathers whose censers smell of sulfur, and shoulder straps stick out from under their cassocks, and a public that is ready to pay for everything in a row, which somehow brought us to the crest of success, like a ball from a lottery machine.

But I’ll still go to see The Da Vinci Code. You can’t “talk about the ups and downs of Hollywood without having seen a single film,” and say that “I haven’t read the book, but I condemn it.” Let even my hard-earned rubles end up in the pockets of “resourceful art dealers.”