Yu. N.. Many dotcoms

The editors have obtained scattered pages of a diary that was blown away during a fire in an abandoned office building on the eastern coast of the United States. We impudently publish them, rearranging them at random.
Foreign words, such as ramp, pump, customer support, etc., are deliberately left without translation.

1

I'm tired of computers, oh, how tired of these machines! I’m writing a real diary on real pink paper, but I don’t know if I’ll finish it. Perhaps I’ll hang myself mid-sentence. Immediately my diary will attract unhealthy attention, excerpts may even be published somewhere in a psychiatric yearbook, so I will try to make it useful for posterity (that is, for the casual reader).

I don’t know about you, but I always want to hang myself. You get a little tired, and your hand immediately reaches for the rope (I have a special yellow-red rope of large diameter, 18 meters (tip: it’s useful to seal the ends of the nylon rope with scraps of a tube that shrinks when heated (sold in radio stores))) (I paste a photo). But I don’t have a pistol; It's a shame, isn't it? All neighbors have them, but I don’t, otherwise...

In the old days it was so accepted - just a little bankruptcy, let’s say, immediately into a loop. Option: jump from a skyscraper. Why don’t I hear venture capitalists jumping out of windows these days? Instead, they are humble workers... that is, in modern times they have come to love better than their comrades, or at least someone from customer support.

2

I re-read yesterday’s post and decided to finally do something useful, translate customer support into Russian. I couldn’t, I don’t remember how it would be in Russian, and maybe I never knew! I remember the first section. The second section - in general terms. I even remember the department of the chief technologist! And customer support... the devil knows. Here implementation means “implementation”, and not at all what you thought.

3

Sad news! The incubator from which our company began, by inertia, made an IPO and ceased to exist in the dense layers of the atmosphere. (Check to see if Flip jumped the Sears Tower.)

4

I re-read yesterday’s entry and am surprised that we are still alive. They even hired a special, so-called corporate PR manager, a very famous writer and former editor of a well-known university magazine. I forgot, however, which university, I need to look up his resume again. On the outside he is a rather fat, sick, gloomy man, but on the inside he is probably quite the opposite... he has always envied writers. Get to know each other better.

5

But I have never been jealous of customer support!

6

Yesterday I was making a turn on the ramp.
Suddenly there was a call: on the line, or rather in space, Daniel from customer support, Kelly from the implementation group and a very, very stupid financial officer from a client company somewhere in Alabama or, it seems, New Hampshire. They are trying to run my program, but they cannot, because the engineer from the IT department of the client company, just in case, did not give His Highness the Lord any authority other than to play solitaire.

At the end of the conversation, I couldn’t figure out for a long time where I was: it turned out to be on the way to Alabama or, it seems, New Hampshire.

Get to know Kelly from the implementation group.

7

It is not possible to get to know the PR manager better. For some reason he is hiding.

8

Yesterday there was a corporate Christmas party on the roof of a fairly tall building. Kelly from the implementation group walked on the roof with her back bare for about twenty minutes until someone gave her his jacket.
Hm.
We need to get to know her better.

By having a party in such a place, the company's management makes it clear that they are not at all afraid of dense layers of the atmosphere.

9

Cynical Forbes opened my eyes to PR managers. They write that they are like prostitutes , only the working conditions are worse.

10

I bought a very good pump-action shotgun for the occasion.

11

It seems that we are unlikely to get fabulously rich if we buy and then sell our options. How not to be left, on the contrary, without pants. But then the question arises: why does everyone spend so much time at work? Mystery.

12

Hmm, I was temporarily sold to another dot-com. They say he is thriving. In my opinion, there should be no joy in a thriving dot-com for an outsider, unless the stupid outsider likes to work 12 hours a day for the same money.

13

The new dotcom is very interesting. He deals with highly sensitive computer security on networks, with some passwords stored on a public drive in Excel format. New Dotcom is located in the same office complex as its fierce competitor, although the percentage of vacant office space in the area reaches 18. Perhaps the competition's trash cans are unbearably attractive. Or maybe we’ll throw some misinformation into ours?

14

The owner of the New Dotcom spoke in front of the cameras with a fiery sermon of his method. From the sermon we learned a lot of interesting things: that he worked as a babysitter, a pilot, a medical doctor, that he had three academic degrees, that most leaks of classified information can be prevented with a three-letter password, and so on.

The main product sold by the company is the bypass sheet. It is stated that his burden is light. Information is proposed to be protected by several layers of carelessly wrapped cheap protective packaging: in each layer there are terrible holes, but they are all in different places, which is why most attacks do not reach the product. The boss puts a tick on the sheet if he is sure that the next layer is somehow wound up; it does not require constant stress or large investments, but only requires a simply organized routine - most of all, this system is similar to the checklist that every flight crew fills out by the way while taxiing for takeoff. Sixty years ago, a proud aviator would have thrown the checklist in your face, and yet it is only because of him that flights have become... here comes some suspicious arithmetic... dozens of times more reliable.

In general, it’s clear: it will be more reliable on pink paper. Let's continue like this. Or switch to wrapping?

15

This is the third day I’ve been going to consult at New Dotcom, and I still haven’t logged into the system: either they give me a login, or there’s some server lying around. I respect that (the border is locked, and I’ve been wanting to read something for a long time).

They also have a decorative Sun server. The client comes to look at his data and sees something important blinking in the safe behind the glass - but in fact this server is not even plugged into anything, almost like me...

16

Now spring has come, and with it memories come flooding back. Touching. I remembered my very first dot-com, which was not a dot-com at all, but a dot-com. He also had a business model: oh, what an innocent children's business model it was! Nobody wanted to do an IPO and run. Everyone was intent on making the best product in their market sector, selling a useful, scarce service, quietly exploiting a person (me) as a person and making the greatest profit. There was no customer support, although, I must say, there was an implementation group, and I wanted to get to know M.N. from this group, but accidentally fell asleep.

It becomes clear to anyone that this idyll could not continue. The owners should have at least pretended to be a real dotcom - ah! The company had to be urgently sold to a real, beautiful, brilliant dotcom, which not only was not going to make the best product in its sector, but was not going to make any product per se at all, but was only going to package someone else’s.

The idea appealed to many venture capitalists because of its novelty, reflective brilliance, and somewhat perverse nature, which made the money flow.

Well, this dot-com bought us, that is, he bought the brand, programs, servers, and only four souls remained from the personnel, although some were in vests (well, that’s me in a vest).

So what now? The most powerful 4-processor Sun, according to rumors, is used as a stand for a houseplant, and I was resold far and profitably, having probably heard that I had bought a good pump-action shotgun...