this is disgusting

The sky is disgusting
From "Methodological guidelines for teaching history to dogs, crows, rats and other service races."
Editor-compiler - Timofey-Murzik the Fourth. Granite tablet (approximately - 3300 g)


Publication date: July 4, 2001

The desirability of meditations facing Heaven is discussed in a separate topic. The history of the last centuries of man-cockroaches should serve as the main illustrative example here. And remember, dear ones: service races are incapable of perceiving pure information, but they are able to independently draw conclusions from simple parables. Therefore, do not try to give the lesson titles like “Mental dangers when passing through the upper levels of comprehension” or “Idleness as the highest form of inaction.” Call it simpler: "The story of people and cockroaches. The finale."

It is recommended to present this story as follows.

In the beginning there was the word. And the word was poor, because it could not accurately convey the thought. Then people built the Network and began to transmit thoughts and feelings using it. The network was also poor, like any technical device. Technology requires technology. And every technician has his secrets. The Network also made it possible to lie by constructing false thoughts and digital feelings. And every liar also has his own secrets (should we, dear ones, not know this?!). Before the Internet, people were controlled by individuals with a quick mind and a strong will. The network allowed liars with dull minds and weak wills to seize power - solely with the help of lies. This lie was called PR, that is, “working for the public.” But the amateur liars did not last long: they were supplanted by the professional liars. Computer technicians and PR specialists have combined their secrets. From then on - until the very end - people were ruled by a "technoligarchy".

By this time, cockroaches had begun to inhabit the Network, which the technoligarchs had no idea about: this was the secret of the cockroaches.

The technoligarchs knew how to manage, but they did not know what should be managed and what should not be managed. So they decided to manage everything. And everything began to fall out of their hands, like the insides of a mouse.

Other people didn't know about it. This was the secret of the technoligarchs.

Other people are mired in their “rituals,” that is, meaningless activities that bring fleeting satisfaction. Savage miners extracted minerals and did not use the Internet. But they didn’t use words either, but they had the entire earth’s surface at their disposal (they thought so, but in fact we owned the earth’s surface). The manufacturing dorks sat underground, producing computers, programs and nutrient fluid for autoclaves. Manufacturers thought that they had power in their hands, but in reality it was the technoligarchs who had power. Fat consumers sat even deeper underground in their autoclaves and enjoyed dream programs. They also thought that power was in their hands. But in fact they didn't even have hands.

Among consumer dreams, the so-called “democratic illusions,” or, in common parlance, elections, enjoyed particular success. Before the technoligarchs, when amateur liars ruled, elections were a struggle between virtual characters for real power. Now everything has become the other way around: public policy has turned into a competition of completely harmless and very real people who competed in the ability to praise themselves. The reward in this competition was receiving a title, which in no way influenced real social status.

This is how people lived: miners - in cellular villages, producers - in office autoclaves, consumers - in personal autoclaves. The technoligarchs did not live at all: they copied their thoughts and feelings onto hard drives, and they themselves died from alkaloid poisoning. And no one noticed that it was very dirty all around. There was no one to monitor the cleanliness. Our ancestors lived in this mud: dogs, cats, rats and crows. Dirt gave birth to Mutation, Mutation gave birth to Evolution. Evolution gave rats skillful hands - and rats took up manual labor. Evolution gave crows a sharp tongue - and crows taught others to speak. Evolution gave dogs a brave heart - and dogs began to protect us from people. Evolution gave cats a sharp mind - and cats began to give wise advice to everyone. But Evolution did not give anything to the pigeons: they remained fools.

And Evolution gave the cockroaches a new body, thanks to which the cockroaches penetrated the Network. Every computer has its own cockroaches, and thanks to autoclaves, every human head.

We knew about this and did not use the Internet.

People loved us because they thought we were serving them. People even tried to become related to us, but it didn’t work out for them: who would want among their relatives to have such rubbish as a person - and even with cockroaches in the head! Only savage miners were able to enter our ranks, but not for long. Their genes turned out to be weak, so the miners soon disappeared among the rats. For two hundred years, the rats (purely out of kindness) did their work for the miners - until the rest of the people also disappeared.

And people disappeared in the following way. The producers produced the most important thing in their lives - network communication through the Sky (people called the Sky the "Noosphere"). Now the rusty satellites, which are still circling around the Earth, like flies around a shitting dog, are no longer needed. And the cockroaches took advantage of this. They waited for the next Saturday elections. All producers, leaving work, went out into the Noosphere to enjoy their favorite spectacle. And consumers never left the Noosphere at all... The cockroaches, in agreement, turned off all the computers at once.

This is how people became celestials. Cockroaches also became celestials. And Heaven, it should be noted, is pristinely empty: no cities, no autoclaves, not even decent clothes. There are only cloudy hills and heavenly tabernacles where dragons live. The naked man found himself in the naked Sky in the company of his six-legged friend, the cockroach. People got sick and died from network viruses, people were eaten by dragons. People had to dig caves in the clouds and break out clubs in the bushes. Nobody in Heaven loves people - except for cockroaches, who consider people to be their own kind (and for good reason).

At the end of the lesson, students should be asked the question: “What will happen to those who meditate on Heaven?” If the lesson was conducted properly, the students will immediately understand that such a would-be meditator will instantly have parasites in his head - cockroaches and people.

And don’t forget, dear ones: when raising contempt for people and cockroaches in dogs, crows, rats and even ordinary cats, it is important to make students understand that they themselves are not far from the inhabitants of heaven. Because only we - immortal castrated cats - were able to achieve true perfection, calmness and unshakable authority .

Urgent: unrest among wild monkeys in Brazil

It is known that in Brazil the number of wild monkeys exceeds 1000 individuals per capita of the rest of the population. This ratio cannot but affect the political situation in the country. Recently, thousands of wild monkeys marched through the streets of Rio de Janeiro, demanding that they be given voting rights. The monkeys behaved aggressively, throwing banana peels at passers-by and throwing their waste at the police. It is interesting that representatives of environmental organizations in the Brazilian parliament are in no hurry to join the demands of wild four-armed monkeys, since they support their ardent opponents - tame monkeys. The wild monkeys said that if their demands were not met, they would organize guerrilla groups and move on to terrorist forms of struggle - as their comrades in misfortune had already done in other countries of South and Central America.