Our happiness

What is happiness? Is happiness possible in this vale of sorrows? And if possible, what are the ways to achieve it? These issues worried people throughout history. In search of a response, philosophical teachings and religions were created, luxurious palaces were built and entire countries were destroyed, spears were broken for the favorable gaze of a beautiful lady and whole harems of trouble -free concubines were created.

We fight for happiness with frenzy, walking over the heads of others, but, apparently, genuine happiness, recalling a metaphor from one Soviet film, really, like a moth: you try to grab rudely-you will damage it wings. Well, examples of unfortunate dictators, disappointed with the lives of stars or billionaires who committed suicide, only confirm this thesis.

To the question of happiness, the chairman of the State Duma, Vyacheslav Volodin, tried to answer happiness. He believes that the deputy should help people, see the real results of this help, and this is precisely in this, according to Volodin, that the secret of deputy happiness is. However, I think, in this case, we are talking not only and not so much about the statement as about the road map, about the key landmarks that the chairman sets the work of the State Duma.

Well, help to people is undoubtedly one of the ways to achieve happiness. Each of us lives not in vacuum, but among other people, even our personalities exist in many respects due to the fact that we have developed a number of relations with people who somehow relate to us and thanks to this we feel ourselves, we are sure that we exist. We are talking about a psychological phenomenon called "personalization". If you want to be happy, reflect in other people. Well, helping people is a great way to reflect in these people.

But what else does modern psychology know about happiness?

First of all, happiness, of course, is more related to internal factors than with external ones. For example, the so -called “Florida effect” was widely studied: a person has been accumulating money for a house in Florida for a long time (a city in the United States with a very favorable climate and a bunch of Hollywood stars there), but when he moves to this sunny and flowering state, he is quickly disappointed and understands that life there did not become happier.

It is important to understand that the main source of happiness and pleasure is the satisfaction of internal motivation. So, the next bike goes between psychologists. Under the windows of the apartment in which the professor of psychology lived, the courtyard guys got into the ball to play the ball, were very noisy, prevented them from focusing on scientific work. Then the professor at first began to pay the guys to continue to play under his windows, and after some time he stopped paying them. And the boys immediately stopped playing. He replaced the internal motivation of the external. Unfortunately, we, often without realizing it, do the same. For example, we begin to demand from your beloved woman, improve the figure, and increase income from your beloved man. When our half cannot cope, we are chagrin and even tear the relationship.

Thus, in order to be happy, you need to do what you really like, but you really like it, and not to lie on the couch in front of the TV or sit in a chair, leafing through the strip in the social network.

Alexander Neva ,

psychologist, economist, candidate of psychological sciences