Translated material
Odessa. Bringing
- Do you have documents for this Ribe?
- Do you need a sho, death certificate?
Fish row. The saleswoman trades with eels. Near the counter there is a woman with a gloomy look. Salesman:
- Woman, why are you so sad? What, trouble in the family? What, husband is a bastard? I also have a bastard! So I will tell you one recipe from this. I always use it and helps me a lot. Listen: Buy eel from me, come home ... What is the name of my husband? Vasya? Fine! Let - Vasya! Call the eel of Vasya, put it in a hot frying pan and see how he, a bastard, wriggles! Helps a lot.
Fish row. Salesman:
- Woman, what do you think! Take it! Live carp! Five minutes ago I just swam!
“Why doesn't he move, and his gills are some kind of pale?”
- Madame, it was he froze and turned pale with excitement at the sight of your dazzling beauty.
- How much does a bunch of parsley cost?
- Fifty kopecks.
- And a bunch of celery?
- Fifty kopecks.
- And how much is a bunch of parsley and a bunch of celery?
- The hryvnia is twenty.
“Let me,” the woman is indignant, “how does it turn out?” A bunch of parsley - fifty, a bunch of celery - fifty, and together two bundles - the hryvnia is twenty! Where else is twenty cents where?!
- Do you think that fleeting proximity is already worth nothing at all?
- How much is your chicken?
- This is not a chicken. This is a cockerel.
-That's what I look at him so tired.
- Comrade seller, I bought eggs from you. You told me that they are home, and they are not at all home!
-And what do you think they are?
- Whatever, but not home!
- And what, Ukraine is no longer home?
The lady, pointing to a certain exotic fruit, asks the seller:
- Tell me, how much does it cost?
- Five hryvnias.
- Tell me, what is it called?
- Don't know.
- Well, you should know! You are a seller!
- I don't know.
-Well, call him somehow!
-How-“somehow”?
- Well, whatever you want!
- Well, how, for example?
- Well, at least carrots!
- Well, carrot!
The lady looks thoughtfully at the exotic fruit:
- No, I will not take carrots for such a price.
Dairy building.
- Is it sour cream or cream?
- What do you need?
- Cream.
- Well, then this is cream.
A woman chooses sausage. The saleswoman advises:
- Medary, you smell her! This is not a sausage! These are perfumes!
Near the number of pickles, a woman sells children's rates. The customer is suitable.
“I am so red, to the boy.”
- And how old is the boy?
- Eight.
- These are eight.
“But he is big with me.” It looks ten.
- These will be ten.
“But why should he be ten if he is eight.”
- Then take these. They are eight.
“But why does he need these eight if he looks ten.”
The saleswoman looks at the customer for a long time:
- Madame, you see, the old man sells whistles. So go and buy. This will be your boy for eight years and ten years, and maybe for life, if your son is as abnormal as his shocked mother!
That's not all. Another customer is suitable from the side: older:
- Do you have fifty -six?
- Do you mean fifty -sixth size?
“No, fifty -six years old.” Husband.
- You know what, woman. It seems to me that you should hurry, because that old man with whistles is already leaving, and you may not go!
- Man, take fresh fish!
“Is she really fresh?”
- What is the question? Just from the sea.
- Why did she closed her eyes? Sleeping? .. Why does she stink like that?
- Listen, man, when you sleep, can you answer for yourself?
- Man, take fresh fish!
“Is she really fresh?”
- What is the question? Just from the sea.
- Why did she closed her eyes? Sleeping? .. Why does she stink like that?
- Listen, man, when you sleep, can you answer for yourself?
Sausage row. Salesman:
- Man, that you walk throughout the row every day, try and buy nothing? Do you like anything?
- Like.
- So you probably have no money.
- Eat.
- So what's the matter? Buy!
- Why?
- How - “why”? Well, to eat!
- And what am I doing?!
The saleswoman sells eggs, in appearance clearly chicken:
- Ostrus eggs! Buy ostrich eggs!
The customer is suitable, takes one egg in the hand and examines it for a long time:
- What, really ostrich egg?
- Or!
- Why are so small?
- And this breed is such.
- Which?
-Strac-pigmey!
Buyer:
- Why do you have the same chickens with that woman, and yours are so more expensive?
- It’s not more expensive for me, it is cheaper for her! This is because she has the old chickens and died themselves.
- And what is true?
- Well, not quite to be true. But I will tell you like a native: this is my friend, we quarreled, and I tell you so and I keep such a price so that they don’t buy anything from her.
- So you will not buy anything with such a price!
- So what?! But no one will buy anything from her!
A woman buys a pig. Salesman:
- Woman, you sniff him! He smells like alive!
- Man, come here! Try my milk already.
- If it is true, why should I try? What am I, thoracic?
- Sho do you cling to words? Well, not mine, my cow. But milk is something special. You try ...
“So ... I have already tried it.”
- Well?
- Now I want to ask: you do not want to buy an umbrella for your cow?
- What suddenly? Why an umbrella?
- Because she has a lot of water in milk.
A woman buys potatoes. The saleswoman weighs. Woman:
- And on the "campaign"?
The saleswoman puts one potato on top.
- And a little more on the “campaign”?
The saleswoman puts another potato.
- Well, at least one more on the “campaign”!
Salesman:
- Listen, Madame, will you go on a hike or grab all your relatives?]
A mulatto is approaching the counter. Salesman:
- I already know what you want! You want a kilo of bananas!
- Why a kilo of bananas?
- You are a black man, so you need a kilo of bananas!
- I'm not a black man. I am a mulatto.
- Well, then take a pound.
A woman buys a pig. For about an hour he turns, turns, sniffs, spreads his legs, presses on his tummy, looks under the tail, scratches his back. The seller looks at what is happening for a long time, and then says so calmly:
“Madame, if you want to reanimate it, then try your mouth in your mouth, otherwise it will not come to life.”
- Tell me, is this watermelon Kherson?
- Kherson.
- So I was there recently, so all the watermelons are still unimportant!
- So what?
- How - “so what”? This “Kherson” watermelon smells good of a Turkish bazaar!
- Oh, calm down, for God! Well, how much is there from that Turkey to that Kherson!
- Do you need a sho, death certificate?
Fish row. The saleswoman trades with eels. Near the counter there is a woman with a gloomy look. Salesman:
- Woman, why are you so sad? What, trouble in the family? What, husband is a bastard? I also have a bastard! So I will tell you one recipe from this. I always use it and helps me a lot. Listen: Buy eel from me, come home ... What is the name of my husband? Vasya? Fine! Let - Vasya! Call the eel of Vasya, put it in a hot frying pan and see how he, a bastard, wriggles! Helps a lot.
Fish row. Salesman:
- Woman, what do you think! Take it! Live carp! Five minutes ago I just swam!
“Why doesn't he move, and his gills are some kind of pale?”
- Madame, it was he froze and turned pale with excitement at the sight of your dazzling beauty.
- How much does a bunch of parsley cost?
- Fifty kopecks.
- And a bunch of celery?
- Fifty kopecks.
- And how much is a bunch of parsley and a bunch of celery?
- The hryvnia is twenty.
“Let me,” the woman is indignant, “how does it turn out?” A bunch of parsley - fifty, a bunch of celery - fifty, and together two bundles - the hryvnia is twenty! Where else is twenty cents where?!
- Do you think that fleeting proximity is already worth nothing at all?
- How much is your chicken?
- This is not a chicken. This is a cockerel.
-That's what I look at him so tired.
- Comrade seller, I bought eggs from you. You told me that they are home, and they are not at all home!
-And what do you think they are?
- Whatever, but not home!
- And what, Ukraine is no longer home?
The lady, pointing to a certain exotic fruit, asks the seller:
- Tell me, how much does it cost?
- Five hryvnias.
- Tell me, what is it called?
- Don't know.
- Well, you should know! You are a seller!
- I don't know.
-Well, call him somehow!
-How-“somehow”?
- Well, whatever you want!
- Well, how, for example?
- Well, at least carrots!
- Well, carrot!
The lady looks thoughtfully at the exotic fruit:
- No, I will not take carrots for such a price.
Dairy building.
- Is it sour cream or cream?
- What do you need?
- Cream.
- Well, then this is cream.
A woman chooses sausage. The saleswoman advises:
- Medary, you smell her! This is not a sausage! These are perfumes!
Near the number of pickles, a woman sells children's rates. The customer is suitable.
“I am so red, to the boy.”
- And how old is the boy?
- Eight.
- These are eight.
“But he is big with me.” It looks ten.
- These will be ten.
“But why should he be ten if he is eight.”
- Then take these. They are eight.
“But why does he need these eight if he looks ten.”
The saleswoman looks at the customer for a long time:
- Madame, you see, the old man sells whistles. So go and buy. This will be your boy for eight years and ten years, and maybe for life, if your son is as abnormal as his shocked mother!
That's not all. Another customer is suitable from the side: older:
- Do you have fifty -six?
- Do you mean fifty -sixth size?
“No, fifty -six years old.” Husband.
- You know what, woman. It seems to me that you should hurry, because that old man with whistles is already leaving, and you may not go!
- Man, take fresh fish!
“Is she really fresh?”
- What is the question? Just from the sea.
- Why did she closed her eyes? Sleeping? .. Why does she stink like that?
- Listen, man, when you sleep, can you answer for yourself?
- Man, take fresh fish!
“Is she really fresh?”
- What is the question? Just from the sea.
- Why did she closed her eyes? Sleeping? .. Why does she stink like that?
- Listen, man, when you sleep, can you answer for yourself?
Sausage row. Salesman:
- Man, that you walk throughout the row every day, try and buy nothing? Do you like anything?
- Like.
- So you probably have no money.
- Eat.
- So what's the matter? Buy!
- Why?
- How - “why”? Well, to eat!
- And what am I doing?!
The saleswoman sells eggs, in appearance clearly chicken:
- Ostrus eggs! Buy ostrich eggs!
The customer is suitable, takes one egg in the hand and examines it for a long time:
- What, really ostrich egg?
- Or!
- Why are so small?
- And this breed is such.
- Which?
-Strac-pigmey!
Buyer:
- Why do you have the same chickens with that woman, and yours are so more expensive?
- It’s not more expensive for me, it is cheaper for her! This is because she has the old chickens and died themselves.
- And what is true?
- Well, not quite to be true. But I will tell you like a native: this is my friend, we quarreled, and I tell you so and I keep such a price so that they don’t buy anything from her.
- So you will not buy anything with such a price!
- So what?! But no one will buy anything from her!
A woman buys a pig. Salesman:
- Woman, you sniff him! He smells like alive!
- Man, come here! Try my milk already.
- If it is true, why should I try? What am I, thoracic?
- Sho do you cling to words? Well, not mine, my cow. But milk is something special. You try ...
“So ... I have already tried it.”
- Well?
- Now I want to ask: you do not want to buy an umbrella for your cow?
- What suddenly? Why an umbrella?
- Because she has a lot of water in milk.
A woman buys potatoes. The saleswoman weighs. Woman:
- And on the "campaign"?
The saleswoman puts one potato on top.
- And a little more on the “campaign”?
The saleswoman puts another potato.
- Well, at least one more on the “campaign”!
Salesman:
- Listen, Madame, will you go on a hike or grab all your relatives?]
A mulatto is approaching the counter. Salesman:
- I already know what you want! You want a kilo of bananas!
- Why a kilo of bananas?
- You are a black man, so you need a kilo of bananas!
- I'm not a black man. I am a mulatto.
- Well, then take a pound.
A woman buys a pig. For about an hour he turns, turns, sniffs, spreads his legs, presses on his tummy, looks under the tail, scratches his back. The seller looks at what is happening for a long time, and then says so calmly:
“Madame, if you want to reanimate it, then try your mouth in your mouth, otherwise it will not come to life.”
- Tell me, is this watermelon Kherson?
- Kherson.
- So I was there recently, so all the watermelons are still unimportant!
- So what?
- How - “so what”? This “Kherson” watermelon smells good of a Turkish bazaar!
- Oh, calm down, for God! Well, how much is there from that Turkey to that Kherson!
(All photos of the Odessa Territory are taken by me from the Internet)