Impossible

Why can't I do? Feel yourself with a "loser." That is, I understand that for many it is with a loser, absolutely almost a loser, I look like. And I myself sometimes want to consider myself as such. And how elegant the poems of Krivulin about Laserity are:

"Two mentally-brown
The surfaces of the image
I take amazing
As a way out or exhale is clean. "

Almost divinely beautiful. Almost like the drawings of Dodecadans, and maybe better. It is on the surface of the map of St. Petersburg that the lyrical hero, registered in Leningrad, drives a finger. And it is so beautiful to be hopelessly losing and singing or shouting something to others ... But I am in the team of winners! Where did I get this feeling? It is incomprehensible. Sometimes it even annoyes me: after all, the winners have some responsibility, and this is not always pleasant - responsibility. But I don't want to "change the team". And for some reason they do not drive out of it.

True, it is not always clear where this team is. Sometimes I am here, and the team is somewhere far away. But these are already details. It is not a distance in miles or centuries, not in quantity.
So I remain, I play as I can. For the team of the winners.

Original