"Pets"

We publish two chapters from the future book of Evgenia Berkovich

Zhenya Berkovich sits in a pre -trial detention center for eight months, and has been worried about her adoptive daughters for eight months, who are very bad without her. She supports them as possible, among other things, sending them the chapters from her future book, about which she wrote in one of the letters to the will: “Yesterday they brought a giant pack of your letters, and immediately these forces arrived! Write again, please! And I really need pictures of your (and not your) different funny and emotional cats. For a book. By the way, I didn’t understand something, where is the line from the publishers who are fighting for the possession of my priceless manuscript? What do we have, every dog ​​writes books about prison cats? And right from prison?! Berkovich will not ozolly himself, by the way! And then you will bite your elbows. Well, yes, only seven chapters are written with shitty handwriting. And what? Any fool will buy a finished book of a famous writer. And in history there are publishers who believed in arrogant, but modest debutants! ”

Today we publish two chapters to please readers and convince publishers in a beautiful perspective.

Striped -striped really wanted to eat

The striped -striped man always really wanted to eat. Even directly at the time of the chewing room. Even immediately after. And there were always good reasons for that. Much more good than her skinny, bony, two-sulfur-kilogram carcass.

Sometimes a couple of kittens sat inside the drani (it usually did not fit), and they had to be nourished. Sometimes these kittens were already sitting outside, and all the more they had to be nourished. Then they quickly learned to eat something except their mother, but they did not know how to get it yet. And from the dad’s manual and feeding the manual did not have to wait. This is well absorbed by about the fifth dad. They are all the same, usually growling, gloomily rummaging in the garbage at the assembly.

How to sing songs about love and all that - this is how the turn is worth it. And how to feed the family, so into the bushes, holding its tails. And you spin in three shifts. And after all, they will grow up, so no one will say thanks. Everything is, everything is yourself: birth, give me to eat, put on your paws. Thanks to Grisha, this time as much as three took and attached it. He says he gave it in good hands, not to the shelter. Give him a mother of cat's health, a kind person, she would not have pulled it.

(From ourselves, let's say that the Grisha’s duty officer and really attached a good time for the Drange kittens: he gave one to his niece Esenia, he gave the second to the shawarmyachnaya at the house, and left the third one at all, even though his wife and you grumbled. And you leave jokes about the cat in shawarmyachny! Already the second kitten, the host neighbor takes, give him Allah of health! Shawarma with cats! horror stories for fools and other nationalists!)

Now Drani was in the rare moment when she only needed to feed herself. And it was the most difficult. The nursing mother can at least break into the circle of chewing relatives with a cry: "I am a nursing mother!"

And pregnant women at all brought good pieces without queue, and they spared the duty officers, not to mention human mothers. Someone, and human mothers understood her as a native.

Not burdened with offspring either inside or outside, the cat lost its special status and became just a hungry cat. Very hungry. There is anything ready to eat, if only now.

- Run! Right now! Stupid! - came from the bushes three steps from the drani. GRRRRROKO.

- I. I will not. This. There is, ”someone answered with a sluggish voice. - I better die.

“You will die no better, damn it.” You will die worse. Right to whom they say!

Drani pressed her ears, then pressed all of herself to the asphalt and crawled to the voices. Whoever was there, they discussed food. And where they discuss, they eat there. And where they eat, there you can begged, selected or shake - according to circumstances.

Drani stuck out her head from behind the bush. Two sat a meter away from her. One of the two, obviously, was a cat.

But the second was the stuffed one that today in the morning did not allow them to finally show Kotan, where his real place was. But how he sang in the spring, a bastard! I drowned the radio for a walk!

So, I meowed up, do not get distracted. And she began to listen.

- I wish you good, you are gray! Not the first day here, I know what I say!

- And what day?

- Tutorrro! Right, then we will do exercises!

“I'm not in the resource,” the gray whispered and dropped the head on her paws.

“You're not in the resource, you are in prison, fool.” You won’t wave your paws here - you will live two Mondays. By the way, what about your paws?

- The headset ...

- The set? Sorry. Is it contagious?

What about her paws? Some kind of sluggish. Or maybe he is fooling around ... You have to jump until it's too late.

And Drani jumped.

Irchi, as we already understood, was not particularly maneuverability. But she was some kind of bird. Birds take off in any incomprehensible situation, and Ircha flew. Shanya could not take off, even from the resource, stream and moment. In the moment, she managed to get the muzzle once and immediately raised her paws, saving her last eye.

From the sight of this paw, Drani was petrified in a jump. No, Mlyau, well, this is not a paw! Well, mother is her cat, not even a hand! This is some kind of stump, not a paw!

According to the brake trail remaining from the pranin of the hind legs, it was possible to conduct an examination for the degree of feline awesome. “No, this is not a cat, well, or I'm not a cat, well, or it is nafig,” hisses hissed quietly, crawling.

The awkward pause hung, as they say,. The most awkward:

Two frozen cats in the extremely unnatural poses-and a shabby raven is somehow held in the air.

The first could not stand it:

- What. At your place. S. hands?!

“The headset,” Shanya whispered.

- What other headset? !!

- Antique. In the style of Louis.

- What, nafig, Louis? !!!!

-Have you, in your opinion, were there several?

- There were fourteen of them! - Irchi yelled and swollen greedily between the cats. - At least!

She was not so a fool. And the waitress Angela constantly watched the film “Angelica - the Marquis of Angels” on the phone, and there was Louis XIV.

“And how did you intend to survive in this world with this Louis?” Drani asked carefully.

And then Shanya exploded.

Bombed.

Ras-Kot-Basilo.

- I am nothing! I was not going to! Survive! I lived normally! I had my house, my food, my mistress, my mistress’s husband, from whom there are only problems! I have designer collars for every day of the week! I have a turn to the dentist for a month how to go! And do not look at me like that! I lived well and I will continue to live well, everything works out for me, my rune is a collaboration, my card is an “empress”, I’m always in the resource, my moon in Scorpio, my food is “Grandorf”, but “Monge” is also nothing, but my wool is climbing from the “purine”, the paws are breaking and the tail falls off, as my mistress’s husband says, so that he is all his life and in his own trash and in his own trash and in his own trash and in his own trash and in his own trash and in his own trash and in his own trash and in his own trash. To sleep, it is he who is to blame!

“They didn’t move,” Drani said quietly and darted for the nearest trash.

Due to the trash, she pulled out a bag of the remains of the paste on the most and most black day, pulled the bag to the bush and laid it in front of a shaking shaney.

- On, eat. And then once again you can tell me all, especially curses, at the end of which. Well, the goat. I really need it now, for one there. To sleep in the tray! Class!

Explain
Fortune -telling on the “Book of Changes” is an ancient Tibetan fortune -telling, which is so mysterious that it is sold in a pretty box in any store with hunks.

There are three coins and a book with answers to questions in the box. Lines are drawn on the coins: straight and intermittent. They need to be thrown and watch which side the coins fell. Six times. And then look at the book, which means the resulting combination (hexagram). For example, if it fell ,,,,,, then this is a hexagram 59 “Juan”, everything is fine there.

In short, it sounds difficult, it looks strange when you sit in prison - it seems terribly important! And all other fortune -telling too.

Chapter 9

Coins rang outside the window. It seems three pieces. A raven sat on the window and eavesdropped.

- So. The bottom of the camera: straight, intermittent, still intermittent. Top: intermittent, straight, intermittent. Hexagram three. Oh, damn it, I sympathize ...

- Yes, read already!

The raven pressed into a narrow windowsill and all turned into an ear. It was already an eared small owl, not the Middle Military Crime! But it was still incomprehensible. It would be better if the whole raven turned into the brain, but what was not was there.

- I read, but you don't. Hoexagram three: Zhun. The initial difficulty. Everything will fall out of hand, not giving the result. It is necessary to wait for a more favorable time. Three months lead a closed lifestyle ...

- Yes, I have been led the third year! Closed, yeah, nowhere to go!

“Quiet ... But this does not mean that now you do not need to try to think through plans for the future.”

- The rope and soap are my plans for the future.

- Listen to the advice of a woman. There is no talk of luck, luck in affairs at the moment.

They shut up outside the window. Irchi had already decided to quietly stick out and see what was happening there, but there were screams again:

- And I told you! We told you! What you need to listen to when they give you advice! What did you say to you? How to go to the courts? She dressed decently, smeared her eyes, painted a gray hair! The shirt is white, and not this is your chlamyda! Sneakers gave you decent!

- And do I have, not decent? !!

- And you have a look, how they took it out of the garbage!

- It was taken out of the garbage! I am a Muscovite in the third generation, I have two apartments in the property! What should I go to them now, in an evening dress? And they can’t spit with carrots chewed in their mouths?!

Outside the window, something fell with a roar.

- Come on, throw up books! Why read them, right? Why prepare for the courts? It’s better to sit in a cage with a scarecrow in a cage, but the smartest! Sit then and don’t complain that the judge did not let you go home! And he will not let go! Go still imprison the cookies. The kilograms will not gain themselves! Stupid. So fortune -telling says so.

- Yes, at least I will come, no one will change the measure of restraint to me. But you don't know? We have a custom -made business.

- Everyone has registered!

- That's all sitting. And you just assert yourself at my expense. Like this I'm so fool! You're smart, you will be allowed home tomorrow! What are you sitting here yourself, since smart?! A?!! You're not a stuffed crown!

Finally, silence came. But I did not want to look out the window at the window. She knew well how you felt when you are called a scarecrow of Voronom and this ... glated. Even from the best motives.

A quiet voice, not yet sounding, rustled:

- Girls, what are you like these ... well, enough ... let me get out, can I?

- You can, you can.

Coins rang again. The crow already trembled and forced herself to stay in her observation post with a terrible effort of will. Just think, coins! She is not forty hysterical! She is an adult crow! In the third generation! (Whatever it means.) But he listens, just to study local customs.

The soft voice rustled again:

- “Aoy. Expectation. You will need strength. Be patient for another two months until a person will appear who will help you, then your financial situation will improve ... ”Girls, and you will show me how to write letters from here? There is one little man, he will definitely help! Oh, girls, there, in short, right Santa Barbara, he still loves me from school, and he called me to marry, and I chose his goat ... I need to write to him, I only don’t know the address. And the phone stayed on the phone.

“Then wait until he writes.”

“So he doesn't know where I am ...

- Well, they will contact relatives, say.

- Oh, girls, what kind of relatives I have. One cat was a native person. I hope that the house -worker took it, she has the keys. Such a good woman, and my girl always loved her. She is a British! Purely Englishwoman, such an aristocrat, in general!

- A housekeeper?

- Cat! Gray, and the eyes are green-gold. My Shanka. I generally wanted a Bengal. They are more sulfur, well, and more expensive. For 200 thousand kitten, can you imagine? But my husband said to me: if the cat is two hundred, then the fur coat is with Avito. Type, choose which fur to invest in. So I had to take a cat with Avito. But she is with the whole genealogy, clean! And the fur is so rich, with a pearl tint! I always buy her collars greenish, to the eyes. Oh, what did it fall outside the window?

Outside the window, one raven fell, which no one in life did not listen, did not respect or appreciated. The one that just herself is alone! Without any shepherd there! - I got unrealistically valuable information!

But now he will still think whether to share this information or not! Since everything here is so beautiful and well -groomed, and she is a scarecrow and a fool! Here you yourself are looking for your mistress, cats-spies. Irchi scraped herself off the asphalt and rushed away.