See the heart

Lena will never see her son, but her son will be able to be proud of her, watching a blind mother ride a bicycle

We help the house of the deaf -golnuh collected 1,435 153 R required 1,351,750 r

The collection of funds is over

More than anything, Lena wants to look at herself in the mirror. How it looks after childbirth, whether the blouse, worn in the morning, is combined with a shade of hair. What color is her hair in general? The teenager had to pull his mother many times a day: to doubt her assessment and ask again.

There are women who come to the store for a specific thing. Lena loves to throw her hands left and right, like fishing rods. And what else is hanging on a hanger? Lies on a shelf? Like any woman: sometimes I want something, but what is incomprehensible. Therefore, Lena strives to touch everything - the texture of fabric, the shape of clothing, and only then try on. A few years ago, she spent the money and went to the image maker to create a fashionable image. It turned out that Lena intuitively selects a lot correctly. The girl is 32 years old. She is a "total", totally blind. He looks at the world through the gray tulle and sees nothing.

It's not forever?

Lena was the most ordinary child. She woke up in the village, sat on a bicycle and did not get off it until late in the evening. She loved what she saw: thick forests and fields in a flower. A carefree childhood ended when Lena hit 12. Either the girl fell from the bicycle and was injured (although there were no visible wounds). Either in the teenage period the organ responsible for vision did not keep up with others. She began to see worse. She woke up, looked out the window and realized that every day the fog was thickening. On the third day, the trees disappeared. Doctors diagnosed retinal detachment.

Lena with her son photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD Lena with her husband Vanya photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD Lena, Vanya and their son Kostya photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD

Lenin Mom broke off the tree branches on the way to school for six months. So that they do not fall into the eyes of other children and not break their childhood. The bicycle in the village barn stuck. Operations to restore vision of the daughter did not help. It was decided to transfer it to a specialized boarding school. Old friends immediately disappeared somewhere. Lena dreamed that sighted children walk with her. And they do not pay attention to her disability. Previously, she was not allowed to cut her bangs so that she did not fall on glasses and would not spoil her vision. And then she made a new haircut - with a bang of her dreams. But she could not understand whether she was going to her or not.

Lena, like many blind, thought it was temporary. Here it will take half a year, they will do a new operation, and she will return to a regular school, sits on a bicycle and go with the village boys to eat a neighbor's plum.

"Completely insolent"

Lena began to move around the city on her own only when she entered the institute. She wanted to study with ordinary students, so she made an effort on herself: she passed the exams on a common basis and got a guide dog. While Lena was listening to lectures, the black labradorsh Zlata snored under the table.

A guide dog. But Lena has already learned to do without her on the street photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD

“It was psychologically difficult for me to start walking myself. I was afraid not to get lost, but an inadequate reaction. It seemed to me that everyone would look at me, point a finger and laugh. Sometimes it happens that you are going with a white cane, and a child is sweeping past and asks the mother: “Why is the aunt go with a wand?” As a rule, parents try not to answer and translate the conversation to another topic. And once there was a case when mom said: “Aunt is blind, if you behave badly, the same thing will happen to you.” And because of such people I was ashamed of myself. The dog helped me a lot. It seemed that no one would offend me with her. I look solid. "

In Moscow, a hundred people will pass by, and two will rush to the help of the blind. Often those who help grab the edge of the sleeves of Lena. As if they are afraid to get dirty or become infected.

“It is a shame when people who offered to help bring to the center of the platform and leave, showing the direction with their hand. They see with their eyes that they need to go straight - several meters remain to the car. And for me this is a nightmare, I am absolutely disoriented, in unprotected space. The wrong step - and you flew off the platform. This is done from misunderstanding of the blind world. People are surprised that we can purposefully go to work, and not just accidentally leave home. ”

Lena in the kitchen photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD Lena and Vanya play with her son photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD Lena with her son. Near Vika - a pilot in tandem photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD

But even more wounds indifference. Lena remembers how, being pregnant, she went to work in the subway. It shook forty minutes. With a cane and belly. And people, having buried in the tablet, did not notice her. Or pretended not to notice. Once she returned home after two works. Tired, pregnant, sat down and closed her eyes. And it was a shame to tears when she was raised with the words: “Come on, get up, completely insolent” to put the old man. As if in the whole car there was no one else to get up.

The first years at the institute, a classmate read books out loud, and Lena listened. She wrote works by Brayle, then read to them to the teacher, who recorded after her, and then checked his “sighted” option. When Lena had a laptop, life was simplified. Every day she printed lectures on a computer and developed a fantastic speed. It turned out almost literally, so both students and teachers used it.

Lena in the kitchen photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD

Once a new teacher entered the audience. Mrs. Liluke, an elderly Englishwoman in white socks, did not speak Russian in Russian and could not understand that Lena did not see anything. I thought they were making fun of her. She insistently demanded to go to the board and write what she asks. And how to do this competently if a person after twelve years has not seen a single English word? How to write exactly on the board? And where is it at all, this board? Lena burst into tears and ran out of the office.

After the institute, Lena could not get a job in the specialty: a teacher of the Russian language and literature. Without vision, you can only check the notebooks in specialized institutions. And there were no places. Then she decided that it was time to spread the wings and compete for the childhood dream. I collected things and flew to Kislovodsk. Three years later, she received a nurse's diploma, but in the area where love is transmitted through the hands, not eyes: children's massage.

The invention of the bicycle

Lena entered an ordinary institute, got a job as a massage nurse at the clinic, a teacher of sociocultural rehabilitation in the "House of Blaglyuhihi", gave birth to a child - she proved to herself that with disabilities you can live fully. To adapt dreams to your capabilities and be happy. But still something was missing.

Lena in the car before training photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD Lena and Vika photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD Vika and Lena Photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD

Then she sat on a bicycle. And returned to childhood. Again the wind felt in front of his eyes, the speed and strength of her body. The children's affection, which she missed most, returned to her in a new light. For a year now, Lena has been professionally engaged in a cycle tandem - Paralympic sports. He drives a double bicycle, where a sighted person (he is called a pilot) sits ahead, and a blind (athlete) - behind. They should be one - to understand each other at a half and completely trust. Lena travels with a professional cyclist Vika. The coach says that Lena can turn the mountains. It is important to her a bridge, not a goal.

Now Lena wants to buy a tandem bicycle for a “dumbbie” house. So that other blind ones can return to childhood. It is only necessary to trust the sight of a person. And to sight - look at a blind heart.

Lena and Vanya Photo: Evgenia Zhulanova/Schschi for TD

“I am trying to inspire those who cannot overcome the psychological barrier and start doing something after the tragedy experienced. We learn to walk again, navigate in space, cook borsch and wash plates along. Mom scolds me all the time. I come to get a job and are never interested in what a salary will be, because I am important to help. People often help me - in the subway or on the street. I also want to be useful to society. ”

Lena was lucky. When she moved from a regular school to a boarding school, blind teachers helped her a lot. They shared the personal experience of survival in the world of sighted, and not just retold the methodological guide "how to teach a blind person to navigate in space." She was generally helped - both sighted and blind. And she coped.

But what about a person if he has lost his vision in adulthood? Almost everyone who gets into the "House of Blaglyuly" is in an extremely difficult psychological state. It is difficult for them to accept their disability. They fall into depression, thoughts about suicide appear. Lena and other teachers and psychologists from the "House of Blaglyuhiu" helps them to cope with this situation.

Blind can study at the institute. A blind man can ride a bicycle. Blind can be happy. But for this he needs help. Help the "House of the Blaglylikhi." Without our support, they cannot survive.