Post-drunken...

User the_mockturtle posted the poem “Post-Drunken” on livejournal.com.

Characters:
Ursus Minus, nanoconsul
Corruption, prefect of the Prityrian cohort
Modus Tolerantis, representative of the liberal intelligentsia
Organizer of games and celebrations
Comitia

Nanoconsul:
I notify the valiant Quirites:
Yesterday I listened to the chants of the Britons -
Serious work, top class! –
And later, returning from the performance,
I looked around and thought with regret:
Our cultural level is not the same.
Then they poke us in the nose with communal reform,
Then the plebs are stirring up under the Triumphal Arch -
They will make such a noise even if they bring in troops;
Either they spit in your back or slap you in the face,
Then the Christmas tree in front of Rostra will be knocked over...

Corruption, gloomy:
It's all because of Spartak fans.

Nanoconsul, painfully:
And for them, forgive me, what kind of bolt?
It seems that I have already removed Luzhkov.
With such people it is better to go straight to the grave.

Modus Tolerantis:
They hit it off: “Spartak”, “Luzhkov”, “fans”...
The plebeians grumble: “The Gauls are to blame!”
In the capital, every third person is a xenophobe.

Comitia:
What, what! We've had enough of your Gauls!
Is there not enough space for them in Gaul?
They are pinned down and are not allowed to pass through:
The courts are ordered according to barbaric laws,
On the streets they cling to matrons
And honest Romans are being beaten everywhere!

Modus Tolerantis, judiciously:
Fellow citizens! From a scientific point of view,
The very term “Gauls” causes controversy,
After all, the list of tribes, alas, is considerable:
Aduatuci, Nervii, Veneti,
Sequans, Nantuats, Usipetes -
You can’t tell who’s a Gaul and who’s not.

Corruption:
My Prityrian cohort
Recognizes all strangers by their faces
And thus protects the peace of the capital:
Where necessary, without unnecessary sentimentality
Confiscates documents from newcomers -
First he plants, then he guards!

Comitia, sarcastically:
And if the documents are not in order,
Then corruption and bribes are used -
You can’t tell who’s right and who’s wrong!
And the Gauls are getting bolder every year,
Quadrigas are placed near the mausoleum,
Just look, the horse will be brought into the Senate!

Modus Tolerantis, sadly:
They, the Gauls, have an ancient culture,
And our people, just for the fittings -
There is devastation, drunkenness and melancholy all around,
And crazy ideas in my head...

Comitia, suspicious:
And you, excuse me, are not from Judea?

Corruption, stoically:
It's all because of Spartak fans.

Nanoconsul, nervous:
The people need to be given spiritual food.
There may be no bread, but plenty of spectacles -
Anything is better than the damned national question.
We haven't reached the level of the Britons, let's face it,
But we can listen to Moldovans in any way!
Where is the kifared Gerontofil Bedros?

Organizer of games and celebrations:
He was handed over to the doctors for two days.
Jupiter darkened his mind -
He beat a slave, no big deal.

Nanoconsul:
Broadcast the story on Channel One,
As for the Gauls... To hell with your Gauls.
It's all the fault of Spartak fans!