Translated material
Holidays inspired
Dedicated to the elections to the State Duma 2011
About a new holiday - National Corruption Day.
Corruption truly works wonders. Here are just a few of them.
One of the astute mid-level police officers - the participants above probably knew this - noticed that the death rate of persons under investigation for serious and white-collar crimes has increased in the last 2 years. Officials suspected of corruption, those who killed people with cars, drunken FSB agents, criminal authorities, fraudulent financiers, etc. quickly and suddenly “quit smoking.” The causes of death were not varied. And the fact of death was certified in the same registry office - in the center of Grozny. The inquisitive policeman was not too lazy to find acquaintances through acquaintances in the capital of Chechnya. And I was not surprised to learn that in one of the city squares, on the site of Civil Registry Office No. 1, only the remains of a wall remained.
If the police had engaged in further investigation, he would have learned a lot of interesting things not only about the transition to a special “other world”, but also about the miracles of resurrection. In one of the poor Asian republics, the matter of moving our compatriots to Russia has been put on stream. Moreover, although there were almost no compatriots left in it, their number, for unclear reasons, suddenly increased. Having compared the number and signs of the “dead” from the registry office in Grozny with the Tajiks and Kyrgyz people of middle age and above who were quickly born in the country, the investigator would have guessed. The main thing is that the “dead” Petrov, who has turned, conditionally, into Aksenov, does not think of returning to his previous place of residence. So it’s not bad - one werewolf security officer loved his dacha on Rublyovka so much that he went there in his previous guise. Otherwise, how would we know about this?
Berezovsky and Abramovich in the English court told as if in spirit that they did not pay a penny of their own money for Sibneft, had “roofs” for which they paid money (bribery, bribery, etc.), and for many years violated various laws of the Russian Federation, like YUKOS. Do you think that the authorities and bodies of the Russian Federation somehow reacted to the sincere confessions and the peculiar confession? Yes, the Lord is with you! And don’t talk about the fact that the statute of limitations has expired. Or the term of criminal prosecution. No - the articles are too serious.
Once upon a time there lived a former lawyer, and in the last many years, the most senior government official. And he read in the Wall Street Journal about a trust in the Bahamas (passion in the Bahamas!) of his wife, into whose accounts large businesses from the Forbes list were depositing money. Not much, several tens of millions of dollars each. Other businesses took this money for a while and (lo and behold!), earned 50-100 percent per annum. Not bad, LIBOR was 1-3 percent in those years. In total, the income amounted to $200 million, their wife’s lawyers at the SEC (Security & Exchange Commission, USA) stated. So what's wrong with that? What is paid from the trust to real estate entities (London, Dubai, Austria)? Yacht and planes? Other expenses? Did the official distribute hundreds of billions of rubles of state aid and state loans to those businesses with whom he is close? What's the connection here? Did they pay money into the wife's trust? Not convinced. In addition, when the official was hired, he told the employer himself “the very best” that he, as a lawyer, had accumulated honestly earned 300 million dollars. So now he has less money than he had before! And the Western newspapers themselves will soon go bankrupt.
Once upon a time, one state banker, K., lived and made a fortune. He gave loans to three businesses P., H. and U. for more than five billion dollars. And he bought himself a Bombardier Global Express plane for 45 million dollars and a yacht “Were Dreams” for $80 million. And no one would have noticed the connection between these events if not for the evil borrowers. One did not return $1.3 billion and left for London. Another did not return $2.4 billion and left for the South of France and London. The third one went to “himself” and said that he had donated the plane, so he was not obligated to repay the loan. But the state banker, don’t be a fool, saved his good name - he came with bills and contracts and said that he himself paid for the plane. Everything was happily resolved. Despite the fact that he has been a banker in government services since 1996. He has saved up. And at the same time, to celebrate, they gave the banker another 300 billion rubles. Of course, for a while, for a divorce. What if you earn 50-100% per annum? Maybe then use these “labor” incomes to build roads like in Germany? Otherwise, why would the banker need this money?
One day in the fall I open the Kommersant 12 newspaper. To a certain extent, it has become an organ of protective security officers-werewolves, but that is why it is interesting. They have something to say. Last year, they told this newspaper 5 times how I stole and embezzled 300 million dollars of Central Bank money, and also did not sanitize a certain bankrupt bank at all. This year there is already an article in the newspaper about how I “laundered”, violated, stole (and hid abroad) money under the guise of supporting the wrong newspapers. I'm looking forward to the publication. In a newspaper that only on paper belongs to the merchant figure from the previous Christmas post, but in reality belongs to werewolves, werewolves in epaulettes. By the way, "Were Dreams" is the same root as the Old English "werwolf". Swim, guys!
So, I’m reading about the arrest of members of a “gang of officials and businessmen” led by a certain B. Krasnov, a well-known businessman impresario, incl. organizer of exhibitions abroad. The Ministry of Industry and Trade provides money for exhibitions through competitions, and its head of department was also taken into custody. It looks like we once knew each other well. Krasnov is released on bail. The rest, of course, can be kept in a pre-trial detention center. Everything is so wonderfully described in Kommersant 12. How they prepared and carried out their heinous crimes, well, purely “Pravda” in 1937 (thank you, venerable A.B.). If I had not read about myself in the same issues an article authored by Captain (now Major) E. Volotovsky from Directorate “K”, edited by General V. Voronin, I would almost have believed it. And the article of the Criminal Code is notable - extortion. I open the Criminal Code (I haven’t learned it by heart yet): “involving a threat to life and health.” I vividly imagined the artist wearing Adidas and holding a bat. What about the official? He, they say, threatened to disseminate defamatory information and stop financing the government contract he had just signed, which, by the way, is impossible. I look back at the article in the newspaper - I can’t believe my eyes: it means that officials met in restaurants and spread false information there, called up the owners of a certain company that won a competition against them, the officials, and had already received an advance payment. We are talking about decent amounts (not for VTB and VEB), hundreds of millions of rubles. Where, in restaurants, did they create this threat to life and health? This is what the “victims” wrote, saying that they were extorted for ownership of their company. And they owed... Krasnov. But officials discovered violations in the documents - the guarantees looked like fake ones, the money could have gone to nothing. It is the duty of officials to ensure that all conditions are met before the money is allocated. Otherwise, you will also have to answer according to the article. And in general, where has it been seen in the rollback economy to demand something after signing a contract, and what is 5 million rubles for Krasnov and Magna? I am silent about the fact that over these 3 years I have inundated law enforcement with statements about the theft of much larger sums under the “government-commerce” scheme - zero response, although the sums are large.
How familiar everything is. False denunciation. It came to me not so long ago from a certain Skvortsov, vice-president of VTB, who stole 10 million euros from us, in collusion, alas, with my employees. Article in Kommersant 12. Then to the Times. Like, I took Skvortsov into the forest and tortured him with a soldering iron. Well, yes, what else should I do, I was trained in this by the KGB. Only for some reason Skvortsov fled to Angola. But the police didn’t believe the denunciation, although they took some time from me to check, which otherwise would have been spent on fighting corruption at VTB. Where Skvortsov is by no means the last violin. Well, where, for example, are the $500 million in loans issued by VTB Angola to local borrowers? However, the topic of VTB's investments in foreign countries awaits its authors.
Here, for some reason, the police believed him. Here's my version. In the summer of 2011, the first deputy prime minister was forced to leave the board of directors of the All-Russian Exhibition Center. And the All-Russian Exhibition Center allocated 1.5 billion dollars for the construction of an underground shopping complex (a mess like “Manezhnaya”), and another 50 hectares for an elite one named after. E. Baturina, housing development. The First Vice brought B. Krasnov to the Prime Minister's reception, introducing him as his successor as a pre-council. The prime minister, whom Krasnov knows, jokingly said: “Just make sure they don’t make a new Cherkizon.” The issue seems to be resolved. But no! The rival clan “Masters Bezenchuk, Iliev, Nisanov and Ragimov” is not asleep. Khoreyev and So are still “in business.” After 3 weeks, the arrests of the “Magna group”, “Krasnov-et.al.”, the case of extortionists (I wanted to say doctors...). What does this have to do with a major official from the Ministry of Industry? It simply successfully complemented the picture, but the fact that the Ministry of Industry and Trade has nothing to do with the All-Russian Exhibition Center are nuances. The order has now been processed. The Board of Directors of the All-Russian Exhibition Center received new members - everyone except Bezenchuk. They forgot about those arrested (except, to the honor of Minister V.B. Khristenko, who personally vouched for the official - what about the minister of police) - let them sit out for the sake of order, and receive a sentence exactly equal to the time served (and the terms under the article are from seven years, and people in prison for six months already). Yes, Khorev has a little problem. Krasnov is seriously ill (S. himself interceded for him, he was released to Paris for an operation). So, is there anything else to explain? And you say why I go to rallies. What else can you do?
There are a dozen more Christmas stories, but neither Chekhov nor O'Henry are among us. And for me it turns out to be too tragic. Is this the kind of country our children should live in, you ask me?
PS How could the Central Bank of the Russian Federation not notice the theft and laundering of more than 500 billion dollars through banks abroad during these years? Yes, the entire supervisory unit is a shareholder. Plus the notorious "K".
I propose to make a new holiday right after New Year’s – National Corruption Day. Right on January 11th. It could be like this: Corruption Day for a werewolf in uniform is January 11, for an official – on January 12, for a judge – on January 13, for a Central Bank employee (Ignatiev Day) and so on.
Can you imagine how we will indulge in congratulations? We'll just flood them with letters. After all, they made these holidays for themselves - the Caribbean, Courchevel, etc. When they return, they will calculate how much the population has decreased. And there is no need for the Gulag. After all, it is a pity to transfer money for social services to pensioners and doctors - it can be used for sports facilities, and to tax inspectorates 25 and 28. From there, i.e. from the budget, transfer to Cyprus or Switzerland.
Please consider this post as part of my, a member of the OPF, assistance to the recent call of the GDP to law enforcement officers to check the various state offices of “Horns and Hooves”. For the rest, see Novaya Gazeta - it will be interesting.
Bye.