Holiday and everyday life of transfiguration

How nice it is when, even with a person like Dmitry Bykov, with whom I agree on very little in basic terms, I don’t want to rush into some kind of fierce and therefore always very unpleasant argument, but simply exchange opinions, albeit different ones, and unilaterally. And the reason for this exchange was the writer’s last interview , from which, as always, showing respect for my laziest readers who are not very inclined to follow the links on their own, I will allow myself to give a rather lengthy quote:

“The bureaucratic army... they are not bureaucrats forever, this is not a brand burned on them. I also think that, you know, many people, going there, they are, how to say, they are not convinced that they have given up on themselves, and I don’t think that they have chosen a better fate, I’m not talking about them as lost . I am absolutely convinced that many of the current officials, and of the current loyalists, and of the current outspoken defenders of the most extreme tyranny, we also have a lot of them, I don’t think that these people are lost. A person changes, a person has the right to change his mind. I am absolutely sure that the mechanism for ousting loyalists into the opposition has already begun. It started with Gudkov, it will continue now with some other people in the Duma. I would be very pleased if Posner were removed from Channel One. I think it would have radicalized him.”

Here it will come, so as not to immediately go aside, to completely leave clarifications regarding how legitimate it is to use the word “official” in this context. On the one hand, I myself am always a categorical opponent of overly generalized characteristics of people according to their social, professional or some other similar affiliation. Except in cases, of course, when it means belonging to a certain group, the initial and goal-setting attitudes of which are deeply hostile to me. Well, let’s say, if a person is a member of a purely Nazi organization or is part of a gang of drug dealers, then I don’t really want or need to understand the nuances there. And working for the state itself...

But, on the other hand, there are historical periods and specific situations when the entire state as a whole acquires such properties that working for it in any form cannot but leave the imprint of a certain, for me personally, handshake. Well, for example, for a long time I categorically could not communicate with representatives, at some point even former ones, of the Soviet party and Komsomol nomenklatura.

However, let’s put all this aside for the reason already mentioned and agree that we understand what we are talking about and use the name “official” here to a large extent conditionally. So, Bykov’s main thesis: “A person changes, a person has the right to change his mind” at a certain level of convention, I perceive as Dmitry Lvovich’s belief that an “official” can grow to the level of a normal person under the influence of some external circumstances that led to internal spiritual and moral rebirth. Faith, by the way, may be necessary for a writer, but it’s not for nothing that I never dared to count myself among such an honorable title.

And unlike Bykov, I am not such an optimist on this issue. I used to believe, that is, I still believe, it just happened before, in the transformation and sincere insight of people like Alexander Nikolaevich Yakovlev. At the front, before the attack, to join the party, after the war, rush to restore the country and at the same time build his career, which rose sharply to the very top, and then, after the Twentieth Congress, a painful and long epiphany, which led to the fact that in the country, even still ruled by him closest friends and associates, there was no other place or work left for Alexander Nikolaevich than in the commission for the rehabilitation of victims of repression. This is the true tragedy of disappointment. But it requires initial charm and selfless sincerity.

What could be the disappointment of the generalized Posner? By the way, Bykov was completely in vain in mentioning it, the story there is too different, and the transformation, as far as it could, took place a long time ago, and with further complexity simply for purely technical, age-related reasons. But the fact that he got to the end of the paragraph about “officials” practically without interruption and transition, although he is in no way formally one now, by the way, also says a lot.

But let’s leave the figures that are overcomplicated for a number of subjective reasons, such as Posner. Now, let’s say that some, I don’t even say Mamontov, but just Solovyov or even Malakhov, did they ever truly believe in something, were so sincerely fascinated by something that they are able to feel real pain from disappointments? And without pain, changes in the soul are impossible. Only mercantile behavioral cunning. There's Parfenov. At some point he also joined the opposition... I don’t know, he and people like him always make me instantly sick and I don’t trust them in the slightest.

Why did I immediately start with the fact that this is in no way a dispute? Precisely because we are talking about the faith that I have already mentioned more than once, and here the dispute is always meaningless. It’s just that Bykov believes in wonderful transformations, but I don’t. And I can only try for my part to explain what my disbelief is based on.

From early childhood I read some writers, I won’t even mention any names now, just very good writers. At first, maybe I didn’t even understand much, then I re-read them, then I turned to them many more times in different periods, but throughout my entire life I discovered for themselves that they are right. And in situations, and in human characters and in moral choices. And this led me to the conclusion that these writers were talking about a really existing world and the real laws operating in it.

At the same time I read other writers. Very good ones too. But then, based on my own observations and the experience accumulated over many years, I realized that the way they describe does not happen. Well, let’s put it this way, it most likely doesn’t happen; in any case, life didn’t convince me of the reality of what they described. The sleeping princess did not wake up, the good fellow did not receive half the kingdom, and the hen did not lay a golden egg. So, most likely, this is a fairy tale. It’s a good fairy tale, and good people write it, and those who read it may sometimes become a little better, but it’s all no longer very interesting to me.

However, perhaps I have hardened my heart and unfairly lost faith in the crushing power of good, but in reality there are no people lost to the bright and pure, we just need... What is needed, I haven’t thought of that yet, and I don’t even want to. Let Bykov come up with it. At least they pay him money for his ideas, but I’m tired of stressing over such nonsense.

Somehow, in the end, I lacked goodness and positive emotions. I completely ruined my character with these evil writings. We need to tie it up.

http://auvasilev.livejournal.com/502221.html