Shooting for a hot dog. The top of the absurd whims of dictators. Russians - prepare

Today we’ll talk about the most crazy dictators and their absurd decisions. How they “stopped” the epidemics with one decree, “defeated” the United States in the war and even solved the problem of divorces - Pavel Kanygin is understanding

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We all love films about superheroes. Many of us in childhood even would like to become them. To so - he waved his hand and Hoba - defeated all the criminals in the city. Or learned to run faster than others, because lightning hit you, well, or, there, the spider bit. It is clear that all these are fantasies, but someone did it! There are people on our planet, in comparison with which Marvel superheroes are just clowns in ridiculous costumes. And these people ... superdictators.

Here the ex-head of Turkmenistan wanted to cancel coronavirus-he took and canceled. Simply, he says, there is no such illness. And there is no such word. And no one is sick in our country, because I said so. And also - let everyone drive only on white cars. It brings good luck. And who does not agree is a fine of this. Well, he ceased to finance the Academy of Sciences as unnecessary.

Or, here, his colleague Kim Jong -un. He recently banned hot dogs in the DPRK-because it is Western food values. And at the same time, he also forbade stains. For violation of these prohibitions, you can go immediately to the labor camp. Well, or there was such a bloody dictator Idi Amin, who ruled in Uganda. His official title was completely as follows: “ His Excellency is a lifelong president, Field Marshal al-Haji Dr. Idi Amin, the lord of all animals on Earth and Pisces in the sea, the conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in general and in Uganda, the cavalier of the orders“ Cross of Victoria ”,“ Military Cross ”and the Order“ For Combat Merit ””

By the way, he then declared war on the United States and won it in one day ... In the USA, most likely, they did not even know about this.

In general, when one person is endowed with unlimited power, something amazing begins to happen to him. He has superpowers. Fearing to lose them, he first simply holds on his chair. Then this chair is upholstered with gold, a cult is built around it, and at some point he already declares himself as a god, the eternal president, the owner of the moon or the inventor of everything in the world.

Today we will talk about why the dictators "go to the roof." How does this threaten their countries? What alarming symptoms do this "disease of power" have? And why all this seems funny, but in fact - very sad and terrible.

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Captain Turkmenistan

It is difficult to say who exactly leads this world squad of murderers of common sense. But my personal favorite is, of course, the former president of Turkmenistan, a person with a hard -pronounced name for many: Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov. But let's make it more interesting, I will call him the “Captain of Turkmenistan”. Well, because he is unimaginably cool. So he is falling from a bicycle on targets. He comes to military exercises and explains to the local commandos how to shoot at the target and throw knives. Commandos in shock and applaud .

Then he personally, according to his own high -precision drawings, collects a rally car. And drives on it. And it can also show the factory peasants in the usual man who decided to play him on a frustrated guitar, who is the main Kirkorov in the country.

With music, Captain Turkmenistan is generally a special relationship. He writes, and sings, and twists vinyls, but the video where he reads rap dedicated to ... his horse. Gently, there, in general, cringjeen goes off scale.

In general, it feels like a person lives his best life, buzz and nothing is shy. Because he knows that no one will say words across him. The history of Turkmenistan has too long a long period of life under the driving dictators. The first was Saparmurat Niyazov. A modest nomenclature communist. After the collapse of the Union and the receipt of rights to rich gas deposits, he turned around as neither the senior Kim nor the Saudi sheikhs did not dream of. Well, perhaps the level of Borat.

Well, firstly, the faceless title “President” with him quickly changed to “Turkmenbashi the Great”-that is, the head of all Turkmen. At the same time, Niyazov changed the name of the months of the year, naming one in honor of himself, the other in honor of his mother. He forbade opera, circus and ballet in the country, because he does not understand all this, which means that no one understands this. Well, according to the little things: he attacked himself 14 thousand lifetime monuments and wrote the book “Rukhnama”-something between the Bible and the Constitution for the population. She had to study and quote everywhere. From kindergartens to universities and interviews for civil service. By the way, she is also a separate monument in Ashgabat.

So the “Captain of Turkmenistan” came to very solid ground. Of course, over time he removed or transferred portraits and monuments to his predecessor, replacing them with his own. He introduced a total ban on smoking, rebuilt the white-stone and absolutely deserted Ashgabat, wrote more than 60 books, including the multi-volume “Medicinal Plants of Turkmenistan”, and he crushed the media in full. It is impossible to watch the Turkmenbashi such as “Turkmenbashi, but everything is carefully recorded” without laughter. Like any show -scale event, such as the “ month of charging”, or Independence Day, which is forced to drive out state employees. But the head of state clearly liked this sur, so the propaganda machine continued to produce it.

This whole theater of one actor took place against the backdrop of the country's nightmares in world ratings. According to the Turkmenistan economic freedom index , 37th of 39 states of the Asia-Pacific region, according to the level of freedom of the press-at 174 of 180 in the world. Well, in addition, this is one of the most corrupt countries of the planet. At the same time, Turkmenistan, according to OPEC data for 2022, in 11th place in the world in the extraction of natural gas. That is, to live and flourish. If not for superheroes in the leadership. The Turkmenbashi, by the way, was enough not to rule to death, unlike Niyazov, but nominally transfer the power to the son of Serdar. He seems to be more modest than his father. But perhaps this is only temporary. Moreover, history knows examples when sons turned out to be even greater eccentrics than dads. By the way, we made a analysis how the son wanted to bury and reduce the informal position and what came of it.

Third Kim

If you translate from Korean, then the song that is twisted on the TV North Korea calls to be proud of Kim Jong -united. I especially like the moment, at the end, the military dance in Sony headphones. Although Japan, it seems, is the “imperialist enemy” and the Korean missiles fly over it ...

He now and then threatens the West with nuclear warheads. But as knowledgeable people say, crazy about Western whistles and frauds. So let's call him a "rocket-dime."

Formally, Kim Jong -un in the fathers of the nation is hardly suitable. He is only 43 years old. And he rules, by the standards of other dictators, just nothing-a little less than 14 years. But it rules North Korea - a country in which the personalist autocracy was erected to Absolute. Where even the monuments of leaders are not forbidden to photograph in full growth. And since he is the leader, like his father and grandfather, then honors his honors by birth.

The third Kim is the youngest of the sons of Kim Jong Ira, the previous head of the DPRK. And, logically, he should have to give the brothers the throne. But one older brother is generally far from politics, the other was long removed from the family, and in 2017 it was also mysteriously killed at the Malaysian airport. And the rocket-dime became the main splinter for the planet and the conductor of the ideas of Juche. This is the name of the North Korean ideology, which is almost religion. It is based on perverted socialism, militarism and confidence in the “special path”. And so that none of the inhabitants have doubts in this path, access to the world Internet is completely closed in the country, departure is prohibited, and the media will stamp propaganda about how “life has become better”. It is so better that a couple of years ago a friendly father, Comrade Kim Jong -un, expanded the list of crimes for which the death penalty is provided, from 11 to 16. According to Fox News, you can now leave for the “reactionary activity”. What is it?

“Reaction behavior ... includes wearing clothes that do not correspond to fashion, for example, white wedding dresses, blue jeans or sunglasses. Jargon expressions related to South Korea are also prohibited in written messages. ”

At the same time, you look at the official personnel of propaganda - so everyone rejoices there, clap, cry from happiness. Generals wise thoughts of the ruler in notebooks are abstract ... Somewhere we have already seen this, right? All such modes love a staged picture. Behind the scenes, for example, was the fact that they called the “difficult hike”: the nightmare of the nineties, caused by the stupidity of leaders and the failure of the ideas of Chuchhe. According to various estimates, then up to 3 million Koreans could die. And now the DPRK is a critical situation with food. The average salary in the country, according to the oriental minedem, Andrei Lankov, is $ 15. And the government spends billions on missiles and is building chic resorts, where the Russians are driving. I would like to ask: “Where did the money come from, Kim” ? The country that does not trade with anyone. But where.

North Korea is the main world thief. Pressing money with a criminal way. A few years ago, the world media wrote about the secret organization Office 39, the main task of which is to supply foreign currency in the DPRK. In any way. At least a fake of dollars, at least drug trafficking. Korean hackers associated with the authorities are born in other people's cryptocurrencies and bank deposits. In 2019, the UN stated that they stole about $ 2 billion in world banks. Who immediately leaked to the local military. But initially the North and South Korea were in the same conditions. These were agrarian countries destroyed by the war. Only one then began to build an open market and with varying success of democracy, and the second - Checurlet and dictatorship under the guise of sovereignty.

And here is the time to tell about another crazy dictator. Which has been building its “sovereignty” and “stability” for 31 years.

"Potato monster"

Alexandra Lukashenko is called “the last dictator of Europe,” although he himself is modest and periodically declares that he does not hold on to power, and he is about to leave, but when this is about to come, one Lukashenko is known. No wonder he removed the restriction on the number of presidential terms and turned the elections into a farce. Remember these frames 2020? When he, with an automatic machine without a horn, was preparing to protect his power and a residence from the people who did not choose him. And who is tired of him. The peaceful protest then managed to drown the security forces in the violence. Some - up to half a death was beaten in the dungeons of insulators. Others - squeezed out of the country. On the third - they announced the hunt. Last year, for example, the musicians of the Nizkiz group were detained . They were awarded for 2.5 years of “home chemistry” - that is, the conclusion of the house. The plane with the editor of Nekhta Roman Protasevich KGB forcibly planted in Minsk, in fact, making his capture. And Sergei Tikhanovsky, recently amnested, cannot retell the horror of the Lukashenkovsky prisons without tears.

At the same time, outwardly, Lukashenko is such, a cringjo man who speaks with memes ... Well, he also loves to report to the cells for cells.

And he also loves that he is called "Old Man". Although he is not an end of the Belarusians endlessly tired of him. So let's call his non-youth ... although it sounds somehow strange. I will call him "fuck."

For the layman, his performances are presented as a manifestation of economy. Type - this is what a well done, everywhere he puts the order itself. Damn, he even agreed with Prigozhin! Even his super -sizes were enough! The fucked country applies to the country as its own collective farm. Rejecting any innovation cooler than the tractor and any economy except the command. There is no institutional life outside Lukashenko in Belarus. He is a law, he is a court, he is moral authority. He is responsible for both international relations, and for milk permit of a particular cow. It regulates prices and collects potatoes in the fields.

Belarus under Lukashenko is a classic personalist dictatorship with a rural accent. He loves power, as a tractor driver - his cabin: comfortable, warm and no one interferes. The only question is where this tractor goes. According to the index of economic freedoms, the country weaves in the tail of the list . The UN report indicates “systematic and widespread” human rights violations in the country. Young people are leaving, journalists and entrepreneurs - under a cap or in prisons.

And this is a common place for all superdictators. “Captain-Turgia”, Korean “Rocket-Men”, “Fuck” and like they are not very worried about the prosperity of the territory entrusted to them. Much they are concerned about their own well -being and the duration of stay in power. Because it is power that is the same bite of a spider or a lightning blow that made them omnipotent. They look at the leaders of democratic countries, as at the demoniacs - is that, so you can leave your post after 4 years? And what, the country will not fall apart without me? And then you will not be executed? No, it won't work! Therefore, the propaganda of the superdictator necessarily connects the future of the state with its own, it perceives its criticism as criticism of the whole country and inhabitants, well, it comes up with the image of an external enemy. With which - necessarily only with a dictator at the head - you need to fight. Because without him - the enemy will win.

Superheroes in Africa

There is such a country - Zimbabwe. What do you think when you hear this name? Well, hardly about the deposits of gold, diamonds and Victoria waterfall. Someone may remember this bill. One hundred trillions of local dollars. True, you could buy a pack of cigarettes or a couple of loaf of bread. But she depreciated over time. What happened to Zimbabwe, that there money began to cost cheaper than paper on which they are printed? And Robert Mugaba happened to her.

In 1980, he won the first and last independent elections in the country. Soon she ceased to be a colony, and Mugaba began to develop agriculture, give more rights to the black population, opened access to education, medicine. In short, he began well. But then he imagined himself a superman, without whom they would not stretch here. He made his army of terror, which arranged a real genocide, killing more than 20 thousand local in one of the sweeps. In the late 90s, he decided that it was just necessary to take away agricultural land from the whites and give them to black-but why not do so, if he can do that? And this Mugaba completely ruined his own economy. In addition, hunger also began in the country. At the same time, all his reign to Mugabe did not cease to be taldy about the evil imperialists who sleep and see how to turn Zimbabwe into a colony again. But he will not allow them. You just need to tolerate a little.

Another former fighter with imperialism and colonialism is Colonel Gaddafi, ex-head of Libya. Many still revere it almost like an idol who dared to challenge the collective West. And he even came up with a new form of state structure - Jamachiriya. He described its principles in his program work - "Green Book." Interestingly, what kind of feature is the dictators - to write green books, but okay ...

Gaddafi is an ideal caricature character. As if invented by the animators and scriptwriters Disney. The first - drew sketches of his extravagant costumes. The second - explained how to behave. For example - put a personal tent practically In the center of New York during a visit to the UN headquarters. Or Throw out the torn sheets from the charter of this very UN, speaking on its rostrum. Well, also surround yourself with beauty-guards. And he was sure to the last that this image was working. Even speaking in the destroyed presidential palace a few months before his death.

In fact, the “fighter for all the good” Gaddafi was a sponsor of world terrorism. On his orders, for example, an American plane was blown up over Lokerbi-this was announced by the former head of the Ministry of Justice Mustafa Abd al-Jalil, passionately exposing the atrocities of Gaddafi, when it was no longer in the world. Then 270 people died. And the praised "Jamahiria", that is, the "state of the masses" turned into a banal dictatorship. And these same "people's masses" eventually pieces of the former leader.

Eccentrics in power

Well, now let's analyze: what was wrong with them? Why, whatever the dictator is some kind of semi-endoic character with strange troubles? And even if he was originally a normal person, then as a result will certainly turn into some kind of “doctor of evil”. And his country will be pulled, at best, in the Middle Ages.

Everything is explainable. The dictatorship is kept on several whales. The main ones are fear of force, the ideology and charisma of the leader. So we are arranged that "we love strange." We like singers with unusual voices or actors with an unusual appearance. And in power. Unusual leaders attract attention. Remember Trump. Одних он бесит, других – восхищает. Он – явный социопат. Человек с нарушенной эмпатией и пренебрежением к социальным нормам. Такие люди часто выбиваются в лидеры. Об этом мои коллеги из «Новой газеты-Европа» говорили с нейробиологом Робертом Сапольски.

Но даже если абсолютную власть получает условно здоровый человек, она все равно действует ему на мозги. In the literal sense. И чем дольше он в этой власти сидит, тем сильнее она действует. Ученые из бельгийского Антверпена клинически доказали , что лидерское положение влияет на состояние определенных областей мозга:

«Данные, зависящие от уровня кислорода в крови, показывают, что по мере роста неравенства и увеличения соблазна иметь больше, чем другие, у лидеров снижается нейронная активация в областях, связанных с восприятием перспективы и когнитивным контролем…».

Ну, то есть – падает адекватность принятия решений. А если еще и окружить себя подхалимами, которые тебя только превозносят, эта адекватность вообще пропадает Кроме того, в любой автократии или диктатуре начисто выжжены инструменты обратной связи. Оппозиционеры посажены или убиты, СМИ остались только лояльные. Я, например, знаю, что на первых сроках Путину на стол приносили ту же «Новую Газету», чтобы он получал альтернативную картину мира. Но потом эту практику убрали. Ну и как тут не поехать головой?

А дальше – история про «я для страны» быстро переворачивается в «страна для меня». И личные прихоти и желания диктатора объявляются национальными интересами. В знаменитой книге «Почему одни страны богатые, а другие – бедные» авторы – нобелевские лауреаты – находят причину в двух разных видах социальных институтов. Они называют их «Инклюзивные» и «Экстрактивные». В инклюзивных – решения принимаются широкими слоями общества, есть частная собственность, независимый суд, верховенство закона. Экстрактивные – обеспечивают краткосрочную выгоду только элите. И на элите же замыкаются. И ни о каком богатстве и развитии государства в этом случае речи быть не может.

Хотя тут начитанные зрители могут мне возразить: «Ты, Паш, не гони. Вот, Сингапур времен Ли Куан Ю тоже был, мягко говоря, далёк от демократии, но вон как вырос» . Да, Ли Куан Ю вывел страну из нищеты и всего за 25 лет сотворил «сингапурское экономическое чудо» авторитарными методами. В том числе, подчинив СМИ и сажая без суда политических оппонентов. But! Я, во-первых, и не говорю, что Сингапур – рай земной, с его драконовскими штрафами и ограничением свободы слова. А, во-вторых, Ли Куан Ю создал строгий закон, единый для всех. Даже для самых приближённых. Не замыкался на собственной исключительности, а наоборот – открылся всему миру. Ну и вовремя сам отошел от власти, оставив страну на экономическом подъёме.

И для ныне живущих диктаторов это хорошее назидание. Что надо вовремя заканчивать, чтобы не навредить себе и стране. Чтобы оставить после себя самое главное – память о себе. Потому что статуи твои все равно снесут, портреты уберут на помойку, а цитаты из зеленых книжек забудут. И всё это – только вопрос времени. To be continued.