Tomatoes

In 1998, I was very pleased to have had a small but very interesting walk through the spring tomato beds. And that's what was interesting there.

As you know, the best predecessors for tomatoes are legumes, cucumber, perennial herbs, onions, carrots, and if anyone is thinking of planting them after nightshade, then punch him in the face.

So here it is. Only thanks to N.A. Bazilevskaya, who, as a local resident, could see all the local cultivation at any time of the year, I was filled with information that forced me to fall on the loose earth and peer between its clods. Yes! The remains of potato tops, crushed with a pick, were thickly mixed into the soil. I had to take special care not to howl. A lot has been written about my reprisals against careless farmers, so I will not describe the action itself, I will limit myself to only pointing out its justice.

Any blade of grass dreams of change, dreams of shrinking, being constrained in the length of the fertile leaving of the root, or, on the contrary, increasing, even if it never blooms, depriving itself and insects, useful for the formation of something like that in their life and their own, as well as for the promenade sexual process, ending with the appearance of a berry, but at the same time it can grow to the sky, or at least stick out to the level of a bush. The original mission of the plant, as an exceptionally polyphonic framework of groundwater, with the fact that it contains all the results of homogeneous sexual madness, is closely included in the friendly field (or forest) hum. After all, a flower differs from a penis only in that pollinated exhibitionism is concentrated at its end, while the penis, on the contrary, is forced to hide and independently look for a pollinated object, and not through the previous result of vegetable degradation in alcohol of external decoupling.

Light is one of the most fucked up environmental factors. The light supply of a small earth dweller is also connected with the astronomical position of the Earth near the Sun, and, scary to add, with the seasonal rhythm of the climate (rainy seasons, etc.). On different soils, seasonal variability, not to say photophobia, is organized not even differently, but completely randomly, devoid of any dependencies: neither the presence in the equator zone, nor differentiated polar regimes, nor the quality of the light composition, none of this regulates light conditions, while our blade of grass, having applied all its efforts and abilities, is placed in an open place, and, as it believes, rightly, expects 100% illumination. I gnash my teeth every time I remember the pattern of seasonal dynamics of relative illumination under the canopy of a spruce forest. Do not forget about (/), oak groves (2) and cereal sowing (J?) (according to D. G. Kamyshina, 1979), in general, as you would expect.

Rice. 6.6

You understand that my action is highly characteristic and consistent. He didn’t kill the scoundrel, and that’s good; Nina Alexandrovna stopped him in time, and she almost fell under the hot hand. I will also add that, towering over the mutilated culprit, I even showed condescension by throwing a copy of D.D.’s “Tomatoes” at him. Brezhnev. This, however, I admit, was somewhat unnecessary; he will not read it, and this, apparently, applies equally to all such unfortunate farmers.