Are you waiting...

And then...Then there were others. Those who came into your life after him. And you fell in love again, again hoped that this time it was all, this time it was really Him. Because such a guy can’t help but be him... The one you’ve been looking for for so long... Because it’s unfair when others have... but you still can’t...

Winter. Freezing. Blizzard.

You are waiting...You are waiting again. It’s already becoming a bad habit to wait. Wait, wait, wait. Wait for Him.

Years pass, winter gives way to autumn, summer to spring, and you still wait. You are waiting for Him and no one else. Because it is He who you need. And exactly the way you imagine him. How he appeared to you in your dreams, how he excited your imagination. With a slightly embarrassed smile, and eyes... Eyes beaming with happiness, and incredible, crazy love for you.

You started this race a long time ago. When you just realized that you are not like everyone else. What do you need differently? It was then that you experienced the shock of your first love, and the bitterness of your first betrayal. Now you have almost forgotten how nervous you were getting ready for that very first date in your life. How I hurried to Him. How He smiled at you then. And how happy you both were then, you and Him. And the life ahead seemed straight and clear - after all, you were together. You had Him, and that was enough...

Everything was ahead... And his betrayal, and the hours of waiting for His call. “When, oh when will he call?” And his shyly lowered eyes when you understood everything... And that conversation...

And then...Then there were others. Those who came into your life after him. And you fell in love again, again hoped that this time it was all, this time it was really Him. Because such a guy can’t help but be him... The one you’ve been looking for for so long... Because it’s unfair when others have... but you still can’t...

But...Damn BUT! Again, everything didn’t work out, everything was wrong. Cheating on you, your cheating on him, scandals followed by reconciliations, and scandals again. You deleted phone numbers from your address book and returned gifts. Through mutual friends I passed on their things... It’s not like that! And the pain, the pain that never subsides!

And then you decided - you belong only to yourself. For yourself, and no one else! “Long live free sex without any obligations, and go to hell!” Enough! You're tired! Tired of this endless running in circles, of waiting, of a burnt out soul!

And life immediately became easy. Light and Empty. You didn't owe anyone anything anymore. Your free time is your free time, your evenings are just your evenings. Evenings in the company of single people like you... Evenings with alcohol, adventures and endless chatter. There’s nothing to chatter about: “The other day I got along with a macho guy! In bed - a hurricane! They rocked until five in the morning!” And you laugh, laugh along with everyone else, although you have long suspected that the macho came on call, and cost a third of the monthly income of this “Casanova”. And again parties, clubs, cocktails... And bed. Empty bed. Where is it so scary to go to bed alone...

“It’s better to go hungry than to eat everything!” Yes, of course, naturally... Only sometimes it seems to you that now you would be happy with a crust of bread. Your little corner... Loneliness kills, tears at the soul, freezes it out...

Hours of meaningless wandering through dating sites...Not Him, not Him...or maybe this one...although...? For what? Everything will happen again... And this is exactly what you are afraid of... enough is enough. You've already had your fill of this. It hurts too much, and it doesn’t happen... Actually, why? Change your established life, tune in to someone again. Scary.

Well, no, no, they live without it...

A casual glance, timid: “Sorry, you won’t be so kind...”. And eyes. The eyes that look at you like that... a little embarrassed, but... they look at you! Damn, it doesn't happen! This is not here, not in this life, you are not in a fairy tale. But...for some reason I don’t want to leave. What beautiful fingers he has! And the voice! That slightly shaky, shy voice. Are you the one who made Him feel so embarrassed? But why? Really...

The first meeting of the two of us. Damn, you haven’t been so prepared for such meetings for a long time... You’re in a hurry, but... hopelessly late. Because He is already there, He is already waiting. It's been waiting for a long time. Waiting for you. And you're scared again. Insanely scary! But you drive away these doubts. Come what may!

“How many years have I been looking for you..” Is this for you?! Yes, this is for you, exactly for you!!! Because He too...and He also had a hard time. And his Life was hitting backhand, so that he was on the brink, almost crossing that shaky line... But he didn’t! Because I hoped to find you!

Yes, he is not what you imagined him to be. Not at all like that... Well, never mind! The main thing is that He exists, that you are nearby, that you feel His beautiful fingers gently touching you, tugging at your hair. And a kiss! That kiss, completely different from the hot hickeys of random partners. He puts all his tenderness, all the pain of his soul into this tender kiss. A kiss meant only for you...

And then suddenly you begin to feel that he is preparing for battle. To the battle for you! Because He will not give you up to anyone! You are His, and only His! And He will tear anyone who... And it’s funny to you! Funny and light hearted. “Lord, where can I get away from you! No, that’s enough, I’ve played enough, now you, and only you!” Because only with Him can you be yourself! And for this you are ready to sacrifice everything else. And you are no longer afraid of anything!

Night, silence, bed. You're not sleeping. Him too. You have already learned to feel His breath, you know how He breathes when he sleeps, when he is awake, when... Even now, in almost complete darkness, you feel that He is looking at you. He looks as only He can look, only a person who is for you synonymous with the word “Happiness”!

His hand touches yours. Turn of the head, look. Eye to eye! Tears in the corners of his eyes. Happiness can also cry...from happiness.

Winter. Freezing. Blizzard.

You found Him...