Caprice of the absurd

The aliens did not allow Darwin to go to Mars because they were afraid that he would invent some nasty things about them too.

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The future is a relic of the past, and, therefore, we must strive back to the source, for there is immortality in it.

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Man is a mysterious relic of the ape, the mystery of which Darwin made insoluble.

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The search for ways to become a Man for a monkey always ends with finding a like-minded Darwin...

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Mutation without end and without edge

Someday the entire human herd will become meat. But having become meat, it will become exactly fish meat: either food for fish, or it will be a mutation and, having become fish, people will eat themselves, but under water. Well, what about the monkeys? They will fly to Mars to escape mutated humanity there.

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But maybe Darwin is not to blame, maybe he didn’t say that the monkey became a man, maybe Darwin said that the monkey became more humane, but man, on the contrary, became more animalistic, and the translators misrepresented him...

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Once Darwin himself doubted his theory, but then he thought: after all, the quantitative growth of humanity is directly proportional to the growth of its sense of herd, and against this background, the monkey, in fact, without evolving, is still becoming more and more humane. So, whatever one may say, the theory is still correct.

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Fiction is not yet a plan, a plan is not yet a plan, a plan is not yet an achievement, achievement is not yet a meaning, a meaning is not yet a dream, a dream is not yet a fiction - this is how the incomprehensibility of everything is realized.

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Darwin generally wrote about something else - he brilliantly proved that aliens descended from monkeys, he did not consider people at all, because from his point of view they are not worth discussing, but Marx adapted his theory to the needs of humanity, pityingly hiding behind his surname.

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Once I thought in all seriousness, but then I realized that I still didn’t think fully, and, therefore, the seriousness turned out to be flawed, like myself and all people and the whole universe...

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A man is a monkey who has lost his sanity and his tail; you can’t cure him, because you can’t sew his tail back on.

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The spiritual nature of Man is nothing more than the smell of the sweat of a monkey, Darwin thought, and this was developed in his theory of the relativity of the monkey in relation to man and of man in relation to the monkey.

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The Tower of Babel is the only vain that the Almighty did not allow people to build. People are engaged in constructing vain things on an even larger scale every second...

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Whose side are you on? - they asked Darwin, but Darwin only showed his tail to the questioners. In fact, the tail was not Darwinian at all, Darwin added it to himself by cutting it off from some dead dog, but this made an indelible impression on naive scientists, and they believed in Darwin.

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Man is Darwin's whim. If Darwin had not been capricious, no one would have figured out how to turn themselves into monkeys.

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The monkey is a metaphor for life, and the man is its grimace.

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Our civilization is a play in which a monkey plays the role of a human, but this role turned out to be too difficult for it, so it did not care about the plot, and everything became uncontrollable, as in real life.

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From copulations we do not have children, but the totality of our love failures.

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- And I won’t regret it? - the monkey asked Darwin.

“No one has ever regretted becoming a man,” answered the great dreamer...

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The fact that people are no longer monkeys is undeniable, therefore monkeys are primates, and people are undeniable...

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The essence, grasped with dirty hands, comes into conflict with itself and turns into the essence of death.

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After reading Darwin, Marx came to the conclusion that capitalists are people and workers are monkeys. But, unlike the forest monkeys, some individual workers, over the past 100 years, have managed to turn into capitalists. This was indirectly confirmed by Darwin's theory with its clarity. Why then did Marx decide to elevate all the monkeys to the top of the social pyramid will remain an unsolvable, but at the same time, interesting mystery to no one.

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Monkeys will save the world,” said Dostoevsky, but the stenographer, who adores monkeys, wrote down: “Beauty will save the world...

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Before killing the old woman, Raskolnikov trained on monkeys...

and he liked it so much that he changed his mind about killing the old woman and wanted to continue shelling only the monkeys. But suddenly I learned from Darwin that man is the crown of creation, since he descended from a monkey. That’s when Raskolnikov decided not to stop there...

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Logic cannot create reality, and reality cannot create logic, but why then do we talk about reality: “It’s logical.”

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Only homosexual monkeys became human because their tails prevented them from loving each other. And the sarcasm of the philosopher Vladimir Solovyov “Man descended from a monkey, therefore, we will love each other” turned out to be documented accuracy, and the philosopher himself did not even know what he was saying.

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Man did not descend from a monkey, but from an animal called Bredodarvinbreshet.

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The great scientist Darwin experimented a lot and, sacrificing himself, married a “monkey” for the sake of the emergence of man.

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Chichikov got rid of the extra “chi” and became Chikov-tilla... and the dead souls began to tremble.

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Man arose spontaneously, because he was not created by God and not by God and Darwin; he was accidentally hollowed out of a tree by a woodpecker... because his nose itched...

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The Earth has three pilots - but these are not even a swan, a cancer and a pike - but a crow, a cheese and a fox...

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Philosophers are spiders who entangle a person in a web of thoughts, but without drinking his blood, they abandon him...

© Yuri Tuboltsev