Jokes

.

A traffic cop stops a blonde for driving in oncoming traffic. He asks sternly:
- Well, where are you going?
- Oh, I don’t know. But it seems that I’m terribly late - everyone is already on their way back.

A boy returns from kindergarten all scratched up and with torn clothes. Mom is terrified:
- Vova, what happened?
- We danced around the Christmas tree.
- And what?
– The Christmas tree is big, but there are few children!

MGIMO television conducts a survey:
– Who will you vote for in the elections?
– For a luxury apartment, a Porsche and a weekend in the Caribbean.
- How is that? There is no such party...
- Yes, I will vote for dad, for dad!

- Mom, guess which train is late the most?
- Which one, baby?
– The one that you and dad promised to give last year.

Men share news over beer. One, the saddest, admits:
- You know, guys, I’m divorcing my wife. She hasn't spoken to me for six months!
-What are you doing?! Are you crazy?! Don't be stupid! Where else will you find such a wife?!