Translated material
Atomic Hugo
Chavez can do what another president faces with impeachment <br />
The fifth visit of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to Russia turned out to be fruitful. He managed to please domestic politicians and oil workers, appreciate the beauty of our ladies, have a “good meeting” with Putin and have fun in the State Duma.
Comandante Lu
 |
The capital's mayor was entrusted with being the first to greet Chavez. Luzhkov was on a roll. A fiery speech from the series “We don’t need any unipolar world that the United States is imposing, it won’t happen! And there is no need to impose Hollywood culture on us!” to the joyful cries of Anpilov: “Yankee, go home!” – did not leave anyone indifferent. Journalists began to seriously discuss whether to rename the mayor Commandant Lu. Shvydkoy turned out to be a more restrained speaker. As soon as he decided to recite “Cuba – si!”, the audience supported him: “Yanki – no!” He did not succumb to the provocation and hastened to retreat. The director of the library almost put the audience to sleep, boringly fawning over Hugo Chavez and obsessively thanking “the owner of our city, Luzhkov.” But in the end, apparently, she decided to amuse the audience. I showed the president two huge books that were intended for the Venezuelan leader as a gift, but with the condition that one would be immediately donated to the cultural center, and Chavez would give the second to our president in the evening at dinner. The guys from Chavez’s security had to drag the “little book” to Novo-Ogarevo.
The hero of the occasion himself turned out to be much more restrained and ironic in his speech than Luzhkov: “The United States curses me as an imperialist and reproaches me for going to Russia to buy weapons. But here I am in Russia - and where did I go first? To the library! Everyone liked the 40-minute monologue. Even when you don’t understand a damn thing, and they translate only for VIP guests, it’s still fun to listen to. Temperament and impromptu adorn any politician. Finally, General Varennikov squeezed his way to Chavez to present a saber.
Brother-2
Chavez communicated with Putin exclusively on a first-name basis. In an emotional frenzy he called our president his brother, but he never heard a response from the desire to become related. However, the main thing he received was that the diesel submarines that Hugo came to Russia to buy would be sold to him. The presidents talked behind closed doors.
Also, the details of the negotiations with the head of LUKOIL, Vagit Alekperov, were not made public. But Chavez then considered it necessary to inform the public about the essence of the attraction of fraternal generosity: our oil workers are planning good business in Venezuela. A few days before the visit to Moscow, American oil giants ExxonMobil and ConocoPhillips lost Chavez's favor. The Venezuelan government has demanded that Western companies transfer 62% of their shares in the oil and gas industry to the state. American businessmen were not satisfied with the conditions. Now LUKOIL will mine black gold in the Orinoco River basin. By the way, Gazprom is already producing gas in Chavez’s homeland.
He liked Sliska
On Friday, an indecent number of deputy cars rolled up to the State Duma. The people's representatives came to talk with Chavez personally. United Russia members did not allow him into the main hall, so as not to complicate Putin’s visit to the United States, but they still showed him due respect. First there was a protocol meeting with Speaker Gryzlov. The main “bear” quickly wrapped up, citing the need to go and adopt a budget for the next 3 years. Chavez grinned and said that parliament would be happy because it brings good luck.
Meanwhile, smartly dressed deputies hurried to take their seats in the Armorial Hall, where the head of Venezuela was supposed to speak. Not everyone was allowed in. Many complained that the ruling party introduced quotas for each faction. Independent deputy Greshnevikov was even planning to break into the hall with riot police. Later, the head of the International Affairs Committee tried to refute the fact of quotas, but admitted that there were a dozen empty seats in the hall. The press was cut off at distant approaches, so the details of the two-hour event had to be learned from eyewitnesses.
Lyubov Sliska distinguished herself the most. She managed to kiss Chavez, staining him with lipstick. He gallantly complimented her on the red suit, to which Sliska coquettishly stated that she had put it on especially for Hugo. “This is an extraordinary, colorful leader, it feels like he has several nuclear reactors inside him, he has extraordinary energy,” she later boasted to reporters.
Alexey Mitrofanov said that when Chavez was a child, there lived a red-haired Russian in his village (how did he end up in such a wilderness?!), who knew how to fix everything. Chavez is also pleased with Luzhkov, who has learned to pronounce the president’s name with the correct pronunciation. The deputies believe that their main achievement was that they were able to ask questions to the leader of another country, which had never happened before within the walls of parliament. True, Zhirinovsky was dissatisfied with the meeting place. Now, if the deputies-restaurateurs, of whom, according to the head of the LDPR, there are plenty of them in parliament, invited everyone to dinner, gave them something to drink and fed Chavez, it would be better.
As a gift from the prudent Volfovich, Chavez received a traditional set from the LDPR: party cologne, vodka, which should be “drinked on the plane on the way home,” and a book about the party in English. Deputy Cherepkov presented the commandant with a picture in which he, in a loincloth, rests his foot on the prostrate naked Bush and tears the American flag to shreds. As he left, Chavez said that “it was fun.”
Cossack on a helicopter
On Saturday, Chavez flew to Rostov for the presidential races. Here he did not waste time and conducted business negotiations with our governors, who, after the State Council, followed Putin to the hippodrome. For example, Chavez agreed with the head of the Stavropol region on the purchase of wheat. But whatever one may say, Hugo is much more interested in weapons. He managed to visit the Rostvertol plant. There he was greeted like family. They presented him with a certificate stating that Chavez is now a Cossack and presented him with a saber. He forced the girls working at the enterprise to kiss the gift, and then kissed it himself. Chavez did not hide his interest in the plant’s products and said that his country’s armed forces have a squadron of Sukhoi aircraft. And the restless Hugo recently received 100 thousand Kalashnikov assault rifles and is generally building a factory for the production of Russian weapons.
Especially for Chavez, Rostvertol organized an air parade with all the helicopters produced at the enterprise passing at an altitude of 200–300 meters. The President of Venezuela was interested in the newest combat helicopter MI-28N “Night Hunter”. Our plant has already delivered 9 helicopters to Venezuela and by the end of this year will send 4 more helicopters overseas. “Hunter” is not among them yet, but who knows what contracts were signed last weekend in Rostov?! Moreover, Chavez left us for Iran...