Jokes

Jokes

Who is a diplomat? A diplomat is a person who can tell you three letters in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

- Honey, what a delicious cake!
– I bought it in our supermarket.
-Can you bake one like this?
- From what? We have no flour, no sour cream, no E 330, no E 1254...

At the doctor's.
- So, sir, patient, how old are you?
– 35.
- Do you smoke?
- I stopped.
- Do you drink?
- I quit too.
– How are things with you with women?
- No way, I'm done.
- It's clear. Let's write it down: acute respiratory infection.
– Why acute respiratory infections?
- “I quit very early.”

An adult daughter calls her mother from work:
- Mom, I'm going home. Should I buy anything?
Mother, through clenched teeth:
- Buy yourself an apartment, stupid, and don’t come again!

There is a drunk lying in the sandbox. A boy comes up with a net and a magnifying glass.
Drunk, opening his eyes:
- Boy, who are you?
- Young naturalist.
– You’re still too young to engage in naturalism, boy...