Jokes

The ensign shows the soldiers a new tank:
– In front of you is an ultra-modern combat vehicle. There is a computer on board...
- Comrade warrant officer, what is the speed of the computer?
– For those especially gifted: the computer moves at the speed of a tank!

– It’s very easy to stop your wife from buying everything. Try washing each of her purchases with her...

The butler of the new Russian reports to the owner:
– A man came who claims to be your relative. He says he can prove it.
- What is he, an idiot?
- Looks like it. But I think he has other evidence.

– I wonder why the Japanese are considered the smartest nation?
- Well, what do you want - they’re all brunettes.

- Vitek, why are you so sad?
“I got a kitten, and it was killed by lightning.”
- What are you talking about! How?
“I was buttoning my jacket, but he didn’t have time to remove his muzzle...

Two grandmas on the pile:
- Semyonovna, what a terrible wife you have taken from your grandson!
- It’s okay, Ivanovna, there will be someone to guard the house.