Third issue

First week of the second round

When I return, I will post new rules on the main page , with all the changes described by me last time . Sorry, dears, I'm under time pressure this week, I'm leaving for work in Cannes, and at a time when there are no festivals, no movie stars, or other evil spirits. But I will read the mail regularly, and the next issue will be published without interruption. I'm sorry if I don't respond to emails right away.

And now - to the point.

The Condenser continues to have problems with issues of self-determination. Having overcome the difficulties outlined in the last issue , the game encountered a new phenomenon of mass consciousness: the word “Capacitor” is associated by most players and fans with electricity. A typical associative group includes the words "transformer", "generator" and "amplifier". This is all the more interesting because I personally associate the word “capacitor” with “solvent” and “fixer”. My thematic headings and even direct hints did not help readers understand the alchemical essence of the game. I wonder what this word is associated with?

with concepts from the field of electricity
with concepts from chemistry
with Russian Journal
with something shiny and wet
with Cheburator

Let's see which of us is crazy.

Another news: the idea of ​​a “battle of the titans”, born by Mikhail Epstein and described by me in the last issue , found a wide response among the masses. At the moment, out of ten participants in the super tour, seven have been finalized. I list them in no particular order:

Several more invitations to the next round of the “fight” are awaiting responses. I apologize in advance to all those invited and to those who suggested their names if someone is not included in this top ten: I have no other limiting criterion than the speed of receiving responses. I’m afraid to give more than ten texts: the reader may be lazy and not be able to handle it. Therefore, simply everyone who answers eleventh and further is automatically included in the second round of the “battle of the titans.” I hope to be understood. And, of course, I will slowly send out invitations to the second round of the “fight” as it approaches. And once again I remind the “titans”: participation in other, regular rounds of the game is not only not forbidden to them, but is also welcomed with all their might.

Returning to the first “battle”. I'll probably do this. "Clash of the Titans" will be renewed once every three months. Accordingly, the first should be completed at the end of April. Therefore, in the next issue I will publish a complete list of the “titans” - participants in the first round - and the theme of the tour. I have one, a cherished one... Naturally, there will be no concessions for the “titans”: the same 4000 words, the same correspondence to the given topic, etc. I will be accepting texts from the “titans” for about a month, i.e. until the end of March, and posted for reader review as they become available. At the end of March, a voting system will be connected to all ten texts, and people will be invited to rank the texts according to their preferences. Five people's favorites will make up the first of four super-chapters of the Condenser.

I won’t bore the players and fans with anticipation: the winners of the top five of the first round were determined by unanimous vote. I was frankly pleased with the choice of the fans: “Vanka Cain” by Petrova and “Shaverma” by Ptitsa passed, with a difference of 4 votes in favor of the second text. Vlasenko's untitled story was only one vote behind "Vanka", and "Missile" (pardon the pun, lieutenant) and "Marginal Notes" were behind by a fairly significant gap. Thus, the first two texts are infused into our immortal intertextual collection:

1. Bird, "Shawerma"

2. Igor Petrov, aka Labas, “Song about Vanka Cain”

For which I congratulate both authors. I invite those who did not make it to the vote or were outside the top three to continue playing. Let me remind you that I initially did not set any restrictions on the number of works submitted by the author during the game - in one round or in different ones. So good luck to everyone, both “old” and “new”.

Now - to the texts of this week. The week was short - I was leaving, asked everyone to submit their texts by Saturday, sorry if someone did not have time to create a masterpiece. The texts, however, were simply pleasing, and there was a noticeable qualitative leap compared to last week: either the authors sat back harder to see how it would go, or they simply overcame their melancholy laziness only by the end of the second week. However, this quality of texts has a negative side: when selecting the top five for voting, I literally had to cut to the quick. Calming myself this way and that, reminding myself that we are all mortal and that I am allowed to make mistakes, as a result of all this pain, strong and prolonged, I came to the following constellation:

Vitaly Kopyl , "Thief Life"
Arnold Markov , "Kayinologist"
Pavel Vorontsov, aka Paol, aka Li Bao , "Anecdote"
Bayan Shiryanov , untitled
Dmitry Svan , "Kanyaev"

Texts are here .

This time, too, there were victims of information technology: with the next death of the server, this fragile Osiris, the text Sap-Sa-De was lost. I was unable to get a copy before leaving. However, maybe it was for the better: the text was such that even if a sad miracle had happened and it had not passed the vote, I would have included it in chapter number five with my usurper will. Which is what I do now, as Zhvanetsky said, without any hassle.

In general, this week's texts had a darker tone. Apparently, the cheerful works of the last issue led the authors to bitter thoughts. The fashionable theme of children's vindictiveness, begun last week with the story "Lisbon on the Right" and continued this week by another story by Arnold Markov about a special little boy with the seal of Cain in his forehead, which I did not include in the top five, was repeated:

- Look at him! - said the father, approaching Kostya’s bed. - He broke our TV, and there’s no reason to cry and think about his hooliganism - he’s playing here! I’ve already painted some kind of scrawl on my forehead... No, my patience has run out! With one hand, the father turned Kostya onto his stomach, and with the other he pulled the belt out of his trousers. As if in a dream, Kostya heard a leather strip whistling in the air and felt a burning pain where the blow landed. In front of him, the Sign flashed on his forehead with reciprocal pain, and Kostya was not surprised when he heard his father’s heart-rending cry, the roar of a falling body and the mother’s insane, piercing scream, which raised the whole house to its feet in the middle of the night.

This week was not without new Russians, in particular, and politics, in general.

(...) Someone with a cigar in his mouth begins a speech over the defeated man: “Well, Kicha, will you pay?” - in response there was only hissing and obscene swearing. - “Look, you’ll regret it! Who is this?” - “He was with him. Six!” - “He dented my car, bitch! He owes me two thousand rubles, damn it, Turnip!” Turnip's gaze takes on a more meaningful expression: “Hm-yes? Does he have an apartment? Rudya, ask a citizen!” Rudya (parallelepiped) kicks...

(Pavel Vorontsov, aka Paol, aka Li Bao, "Anecdote")

“We have a proposal for you,” the man in a formal suit did not turn around, but in the rearview mirror Kanyaev caught his cold and even hostile gaze. - Previously, it was necessary to make proposals, otherwise you would hit me in the ear first... Kanyaev became afraid of his own impudence. He glanced warily at his neighbor on the right. He, pressing a bloody handkerchief to his torn cheek, chuckled inaudibly. - A necessary test of your abilities. Check it out. A man in stern handed him over his shoulder several sheets of paper with typewritten text.

(Dmitry Svan, "Kanyaev")

In general, analyzing reader tastes, or rather, how they manifested themselves in the first round, naturally makes sense next week, after voting. Then I will also talk about the author’s tastes, since it is not serious to consider one without the other. For now, I wish everyone a pleasant second round. To which I turn now.

I can't do it anymore. Can `t stand. I fought as hard as I could , but the participants added fuel to the fire: “if only...”, “I would like to...”. Some wrote directly like this: if you, Linor, had given me such and such a theme, I would have played right away... And some even wrote directly differently: what a difficult theme of the first round... It would be simpler... And others wrote like that quite impudently they simply wrote: the topic is very narrowly defined... There is little freedom for the author... At least go from the opposite: instead of a weapon - a victim, instead of a man - a woman, instead of seven troubles - one, instead of an unintentional one - pre-planned, with aggravating , like, circumstances... But such a text already exists, moreover, it is too well known: this is Krylov’s fable “The Crow and the Fox”... As a result, I had to abandon this method of choosing a topic... And I broke down. Take a deep breath, gentlemen, the theme of the second round of the game, and, accordingly, the second chapter of the epoch-making collection "Capacitor" -

HOW I SPENT SUMMER.

Now excuses are not accepted from anyone. But I’ll drop the third topic - you won’t get tired of it. Balance is balance.

The game is on.