Best jokes of the week

The experiment continues - we are publishing two of the best jokes from the Anekdot.Ru website at once . The first of these is the "people's choice" over the past week, which received a total of 2,229 votes. The other was revealed through internal voting. Compare:

1. A married couple is driving along a country highway. They are not in a hurry, the speed is 60 kilometers. The husband is driving. The wife, sitting on the right, turns to him and says:
-Dear, we have been married for 15 years, but today I decided to tell you that I want a divorce.
The husband does not answer anything, only gradually increases the speed to 70 kilometers.
-And I don’t want you to dissuade me, it’s already been decided. I'm sleeping with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you.
Again the husband does not answer, but increases the speed to 80 kilometers per hour.
-I'm taking our house from you.
The husband is driving at a speed of 90.
-And children.
Now the speedometer already shows 100 kilometers.
-And also all your money and car.
The husband is silent, only gradually begins to direct the car towards the support of the nearest bridge on the road.
-Do you need anything? - asks the wife.
“No, I have everything I need,” the husband finally answers.
-And what?
A second before the car hits the concrete wall, he responds:
-Airbag.

2. And we like this one better:

-Oh, I see you already have a new hundred dollar bill?
-Yes, now this is my favorite piece of paper. Moderately green, with a portrait of President Franklin, new degrees of protection... Incredible, but it's true.
-Will you agree to exchange your hundred dollar bill for two rubles?
- No!
-And at four?
- No!
-And for a thousand?
-Young man, have you gone crazy? Do you know what the current rate is?
-Hy, can I at least touch her?!?