Igor Tretyakov. Castled centaur

In reading other people's personal diaries, there is always something attractive, but shameful - how to spy in the bathroom for their older sister. Such a dual feeling is set by the ambivalence itself, even the centaurism of the nature of this genre. The intimate diary is more intimate than a love letter. But still, the written form forces to take into account the hypothetical reader. For whom is they writing a diary? For himself, for God or ... probably, nevertheless "or". It is written for descendants. But this word is understood here without that indispensable pathos that stuck to it like a sheet from a bath broom to the back. Rather, even to say that the diary is written for themselves, but the second plan is always implied that when the rumor and the blasphemy will already be indifferent to you, someone will be able to enter into a dialogue with a particle of you left on these pages. In this diary is similar to all other literature - the difference is only in the impossibility of intravital reading and recognition. But this is not absolutely, some publish their diaries during their lifetime. Although this is already soon to psychiatrists.

With the diaries of P.I. Tchaikovsky - a completely different case. Even after so many years they could not reach the reader in full. Public hypocrisy can not reconcile with the non -arranged version of his life. Although, God sees, in comparison with other modern characters from a blue box, he is innocent, like a child. But what is allowed to the bull is not allowed to Jupiter. The main thing becomes the slogan "Do not soak the saint!" One retired military, good and honored person, having learned about the composer’s non -traditional sexual orientation, was indignant for a long time: "How so? It does not fit in his head -" Swan Lake "and suddenly in the ass! I can not understand!" And he was absolutely right. Most people cannot, and do not have to understand. He simply expressed with his inherent directness that others are most often hidden behind political corrects. They come up with a "complex of guilt", suicide, "court of lawyers" and other nonsense. But the essence remains the same. Climbing another under the blanket with idle interest - the occupation, in principle, is unnecessary and unpleasant, even dangerous: this can be seen enough, you won’t eat it for a week, it doesn’t stink, someone else's lifting per kilometer.

But what does music have to do with it? Don't know. The fact that Tchaikovsky was a homosexual does not affect the quality of his musical creations. But maybe the knowledge of how and whom he loved is able to discover something new in his music, help to subtract other, non-banal meanings. Or maybe not capable. But if you publish the diaries of the great composer today, then in full and, preferably, scientifically commented out, and not according to the publication of 1923.

If someone opens even the full text of this book in search of tinsel and shine, it will be disappointed. On her pages, people simply drink tea, boring their jackets, and at that time the tragedy of their life is performed. It is worth noting: great life, gentlemen.