Just let some bad male head decide to cancel March 8! After everything that emancipation has done to us young ladies, at least one women's day in the calendar is mandatory. Just look at our collective portrait in...

IN

from let only some bad male head decide to cancel March 8! After everything that emancipation has done to us young ladies, at least one women's day in the calendar is mandatory. Just look at our collective portrait in the television box. That's what you are, our unsunset suns, the TV smiles sweetly and puts itself under its nose instead of a mirror. And there, in the box, we are even like that on our ladies' holiday! Such!..

We are not women! Not ladies. We are macho! We are rich! We are giants! Ugh, no feminine words!

We are in the box - the conquerors of space, and this is still tolerable. They report from Star City: exactly on the eve of March 8, another transport will leave for the ISS. And there, on the eve of the holiday, Susan Helms, an American flight engineer, was thrust with a caustic, of course, masculine mind. The men, her neighbors at the station, exiled Susan to live on the American single module. And they talk about the red-haired cutie Susan: she is a “good flight engineer”, “team member”, other staffing items ...

We are oil tankers! Not all, but at least an adviser to President Bush, who sharply sees an inescapable threat in Russia, Miss Condoleezza Rice - especially for NTV. And Miss Rice doesn't mind that her name hangs on a wide, very wide chest of a tanker. She herself is... powerful.

We are drug dealers! A big, good report from a women's colony for foreign women. Black convicts, convicted mainly for drug trafficking, scribble military uniforms for their friendly abroad and deftly paint matryoshkas. They learned about March 8 right in the colony. Now they celebrate: they ask for flowers, and they are treated to a report "On the Importance of Women in the Modern World."

We are humanists! Mikhail Osokin shows family photos - politicians and their faithful. Here are the Zyuganovs. “Gennady Andreevich,” says Osokin, “met his future wife at school, where he taught her military affairs and civil defense.” Zyuganov, it turns out, charmed his bride in a gas mask! Imagine Zyuganov in a gas mask. Or Leonardo DiCaprio, but in a gas mask! And the future Madame Zyuganov was fascinated. And she even got married, O fearless woman...

Yes, we are the true tamers of deputies! NTV tells with taste how "the girls lay their eyes" on the young Vasya Shandybin, seduced the stately handsome locksmith, he could not stand such pressure and got married! He still believes that all the women who have passed into the Duma, without much damage to their manicure, “will rip out the eyes of all the peasants.” Zhirinovsky, who skillfully beats up any women who fall under the hot hand of a deputy - deputies there, journalists - is sure that the holiday is not needed, since the women are already privileged: "They live longer and there are more of them."

We are prime ministers! True, we go to prison as prime ministers, and there are demonstrations under our windows. Demonstrations come, among other things, in order to congratulate "premier Yu" on March 8, and they throw balloons under her windows, and try to pass tulips through the guards to the cell. And the insensitive RTR announcer says that it's just "the opposition used the holiday for another anti-presidential rally." But the rally first shouts: “Free Yulia!”, And only then: “Kuchma get out!”

We are editors in chief! Magazine "Worker", for example. RTR gives a report on the long-term editor-in-chief of Rabotnitsa Zoya Krylova. In this capacity, she has already met with three domestic presidents. She found Gorbachev "charming", Yeltsin "reassuring", but Putin the most exciting. An RTR correspondent finds Zoya Petrovna in the midst of preparations for another meeting with the president, this time with representatives of domestic business. For a visit to Putin, Zoya Petrovna chose the best blue French suit, otherwise, they say, everything is usually “in black, like cockroaches, we crawl.” "Are you nervous?" - the correspondent pursues Krylova on the way to the elevator. "Yes! Certainly! Worried!" - Zoya Petrovna answers with feeling, jumping into the elevator. It is so natural, the reporter concludes, because she is in a hurry to the PRESIDENT!

The only sensual man who, on the air, did not treat his lady sweetly sweetly, but congratulated him - and that, God forgive me, the male - reporter Sharikov from "Extinguish the Lights!". He did not make an emancipe out of his Frosenka. He himself retrained as a knight, albeit a flea one.

Yes, we are editors-in-chief, prime ministers, flight engineers on average 364 days a year. To be just young ladies, there was one day left. And that nasty TV box turned an oil tanker named after Condoleezza Rice into a day.