| New money causes allergies On the eve of the final appearance of the euro, the French are in a slight state of excitement. Parisian shops decorated for Christmas sell T-shirts with a catchy inscription: “1 euro = 6.56 francs.” A brochure is being distributed in libraries and cultural associations telling that - it turns out - the pan-European coin was also the “staterium”, which was minted by the rulers of Macedonia, Philip and his mighty son Alexander. The French are flattered by the hypothesis that their ancestors, the Gauls, who lived in that distant time in the Balkans, served as mercenaries for great commanders and received salaries in the first European currency. And in Guiana, one of the exotic overseas departments of the Fifth Republic, on the initiative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, a propaganda pirogue was sent with fanfare along the Maroni River into the Amazon jungle, explaining to the Indians and the descendants of fugitive black slaves that in 2002 money would change. This is what this global message looks like in the language of the Taki-taki tribe: “2002, wang tra mani!..”
Well, seriously speaking, what the French are now concerned about is not the loss of their purchasing power when switching from the franc to the euro - ordinary people have become accustomed to this idea in recent months - but the likely side effects from the introduction of a single currency. Let's say medical. Recently, a sensational article was published in the Swedish specialized magazine Abstract Dermato, which was reprinted by many French publications.
According to Scandinavian aesculapians, the euro provokes eczema! Moreover, the most dangerous coin will be the two euro coin. Firstly, it will be used more often than others, and secondly, it has a particularly high percentage of nickel content. Namely, this metal is considered an allergen. A study conducted by Swedish and British dermatologists convincingly proves that a coin consisting of three-quarters copper and one-quarter nickel can cause eczema in a person who frequently handles it. For example, a bank employee, a bus driver or a cashier. An important detail: the aggressiveness of the alloy’s influence significantly increases under the influence of sweat, inevitably released by the hands of numerous consumers.
By and large, this news comes with a ten-year beard. Exactly so many years ago, the decision of the European Commissions limited the nickel content in the currencies of the continent. Moreover: the metal and its alloys were prohibited from being used in the manufacture of buttons and buttons, especially for underwear. That is why the French were forced to remove the nickel component from the 20 and 50 centime coins currently in circulation. But these are all things of bygone days! Today, it is precisely on the initiative of France that such a high nickel content has been introduced into common European coins. Just don't ask: "Why?" This is too naive a question, considering that the Fifth Republic is now the second largest nickel producer in the world. The prosperity of not only New Caledonia, an overseas territory of France and the embodiment of paradise on Earth, directly depends on the efficiency of using the rich nickel deposits that are located on the blessed islands in the southern seas. As you know, the goose that lays the golden eggs is not killed.
However, there is no need to panic about the inevitable expansion of the “poisoned” euro currency. After September 11 and to this day, postal employees and secretaries who sort out correspondence that arrives at large companies wear gloves on both sides of the Atlantic. Moreover, as you know, eczema is much less dangerous to life and health than anthrax or glanders. What may be harmful to the fate of the “united Europe” is not skin diseases, but the undisguised allergy that some influential politicians and financiers experience to everything related to the euro. Kirill PRIVALOV, Paris |
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