Translated material
Invention of the synchrophallotron
We will do everything in a modern way, fashionably. Do you know, dear, that oral sex is not fashionable anymore? They replicated it, taught to take anyone in their mouths, no avant-garde, no elitism; must be stopped. It is fashionable now, they say, to give in the armpit: this has never been shown in the cinema - well, on the big screen at least; indeed, such a pose, not too worn out, you do - and there is no feeling that every schoolgirl in the neighboring courtyard is having so much fun - this is important for us, right?
Also, you know, lately there has been a fashion not to fuck at all - I heard that some elite people, bohemians - photographers, there, journalists, designers - have long chosen this method, it's insanely fashionable. A friend told me, he knows someone, - they do this now: two people will gather, a man and a woman, and watch pornography for three hours - reluctantly, lazily. Sex itself is scrolled, and only "the development of the plot" is observed. They sit dressed, exchange short phrases about camera equipment. As soon as they check, they sit down at the computer and write an article - seriously, with concentrated faces - and do not touch each other with a finger. They analyze what they saw in the context of the current historical and sociocultural moment. They finish writing - and disperse to different rooms - to sleep. Completely satisfied, which is the most interesting thing.
Coprolalia // Say "Oh Yeah!"
turn around. Roll over. Say: "I want." Spread your legs. Get louder. Say more. Squeeze your chest. No, with the other hand. Say "Stronger". Get cancer. Arch your back. Say don't cry Sit in a corner. Grab the joystick. Say: "Let's start."
It's great to see how the sex industry and computer technology work in tandem. I still remember the frenzied fuzz when DVDs began to turn from elite toys into everyday media and porn moguls gave hysterically enthusiastic interviews about new possibilities for satisfying onanistic needs: choice of angle, choice of language, choice of speed, choice of degree of frankness, choice of music to finish. I remember the fuzz around interactivity: the ability to extend a scene, loop a pose, arrange the on-screen games to your liking. I enjoy today's new fuzz - fuzz around voice recognition technology. The ability to command, the ability to give commands, the ability to say: “Turn around. Roll over. Say:“ I want. ”Spread your legs. Moan louder. Say“ More ”. Squeeze your chest. back. Say, "Don't cry." Sit in the corner. Grab the joystick. Say, "Let's start."
VCA, one of the three largest porn studios in the world, bought the voice recognition technology they developed from the University of Massachusetts to start producing DVDs that allow you to give commands to the girl - sitting, say, relaxed on the couch. rather than holding one hand on the penis, the other on the mouse. The trouble is that the technology, on the whole, does not work very well, and even when everything is pronounced with heavy breaths, with an abundance of personal euphemisms and with the constant rustle of skin against skin, then the program designed to distinguish our "oh-oh-oh-oh ..." from our "ah-ah-ah!", it's really not easy.
The VCAs are promising to send out the first test DVD to beta testers by the end of next month - and if all goes well, we'll have the first voice-managed DVD by early next year something wrong, says: "Oh ..." with intonations of Stanislav Lvovsky).
In general, of course, I would like to write a separate article on this topic: about the euphemistic unpredictability of any speech, about the impossibility for someone to pronounce the “cunt” embedded in the base, and about the inability of the program to understand that this someone is using the metaphor “your little flower”, about how, God, at our age you don’t want to say “right-left, faster-harder” less often, but you want to drag your feet home, fall into a chair, sit with your eyes closed while the computer is loading, while the DVD is starting, and tell this Two "oh-oh" to the Blonde or whatever: "Wait, wait, no need today, huh? Very tired, don't be offended. Just sit with me, okay? Let's just talk." And when she sighs, wraps her dressing gown, dangles her legs from the edge of the screen and asks: "What happened to you, kitten, huh?" - then I will believe that I personally need this technology. Me personally. (1)
I can't keep quiet // Bulimia
Here, Japanese scientists have found that the nymphomania of Japanese schoolgirls is explained by their huge consumption of McDonalds, etc. Fast food, scientists say, is quickly absorbed, and this leads to bulimia, and bulimia leads to intemperance in general, and from intemperance in general, Japanese schoolgirls give anyone and practice, among other things, anal sex.
I eat McDonald's about once every six months. And if I eat it more often, we, my angel, would probably die altogether. (2)
Voyeurism // Attention, a bird is about to fly into you!
Drug movies are in our veins, perversion movies are in our cunts, serial strangler movies are in our throats, reincarnation movies are in our karma, war movies are in our scars - of all the hot topics. , it seems that only the topic of the terrible truth of the porn industry remains truly unhackneyed. For she pleasantly mixes drugs, perversions, serial stranglers, reincarnation and war into a new, tart cocktail that tastes and smells strongly reminiscent of sperm.
In the tradition of Boogie Nights, The Folk vs. Larry Flynt, The Legend of Ron Jeremy and other big screen peep shows showing us how to make and pay for exciting "oooooo! o oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!", directors Vash West and Richard Glatzer made the film "Fluffer" - according to the description and critics, a very good one. Mostly because it doesn't seem to snot about the true tragedies of those who seem so carefree on screen to us, and doesn't throw lightning bolts at the evil porn directors who drug innocent young girls. Such a normal business drama, with career issues, job placements, office romances and all that. The plot is touching, because of which the film is called with three "F": a girl is hired to be a fluffer for a boy who starred in gay films - that is, in simple words, they are hired to do so that by the time the director shouts "Action! ", the boy stood as expected.
In general, I like to watch this touching extreme help - a decent movie about an indecent movie. We already have a decent novel about an indecent affair, and all that remains is to come up with a decent sexual act that tells about an indecent sexual intercourse - a ritual dance, a sacred act, ending with the offering of gifts and the burning of incense on the altar of St. Linda Lovelace. (3)
Sources:
(3) The Boston Globe