It turned out that the chemical attack on Russia has been going on for a long time. The only Englishman I knew left Voronezh. He came here to establish a branch of his company. And he left for a funny reason: he didn't like our water. He complained that after showering...

It turned out that the chemical attack on Russia has been going on for a long time

Well

The only Englishman I know left Voronezh. He came here to establish a branch of his company. And he left for a funny reason: he didn't like our water. He complained that after a shower itching all over his body, and the water tasted sweetish; the firmach claimed that one of the chemical warfare agents had a similar taste.

In fact, the local SES honestly warns the population that the Voronezh reservoir is filled with a cocktail for mutants, that the groundwater already contains cloned effluents and cadaveric poison from fertilizer burial grounds. But the capricious Englishman no longer trusted anyone. The SES reports did not calm him down, but, on the contrary, further strengthened his suspicions that the true picture was being hidden from the population so as not to cause panic. He sent our tap water to Britain for analysis: the sanitary authorities there test it for many more parameters. But the locals, apparently, did not understand that they were sent drinking water, conducted their own analyzes and sent a conclusion in which it was said that it was not recommended to bathe in this liquid; on the contrary, one must be careful not to get this liquid on the skin.

I warned, the Englishman told me, very frightened by the conclusion, this is a weapon of mass destruction. Like in Iraq!

His last hope was a meeting in the regional administration on possible terrorist attacks using chemical and bacteriological weapons. However, the meeting, the liquid in the taps of Voronezh, did not link with terrorism, and then the Englishman was getting ready to leave Russia.

Finally, the firmach asked a rhetorical question: “How do you eat here only to live?” and left to create a branch of the company somewhere in Africa.