HOW TO BECOME A “VIDIOT”

TELEVISION

Mushrooms are planted in an unhealthy forest. They grow only on rotten birches. Grabovoi started up on television. And on all major TV channels. What to do, our telecapitalism is rotten, as it should be by definition. Why s...

Mushrooms are planted in an unhealthy forest. They grow only on rotten birches. Grabovoi started up on television. And on all major TV channels. What to do, our telecapitalism is rotten, as it should be by definition. Why is this swindler being shown with such zeal both in talk shows and in the news? Who ordered? What is this - another "Kremlin project" to blow off steam and powder the brains? It was not for nothing that the conversation arose about this pleasant-looking man at the moment when the mothers of Beslan began to pin the authorities to the wall! Immediately, like a devil from a snuffbox, Grabovoi appeared. And we were talking about something else. Is it necessary or not necessary to believe in the resurrection of dead children? Are the mothers in a normal mental state?

But I'm tired of talking about the hand of the Kremlin. It's not 1975, and I'm not Voice of America. Let the Kremlin political technologists do what they must, and come what may. This is their country, and we are here, viewers. Or "vidiots", as they say in America, whose "cretinometers", as they say in England, failed.

“No, no, no, no - we want today! No, no, no, no, we want it now!" Please... The first channel to the heap to Grabovoi immediately, after an hour and a half, shows a documentary on a similar topic: "Love magic." For those who haven't seen it, the title corresponds to the frightening stupidity of the content. Previously, only the so-called decimeter channels allowed themselves such "magic". The first did not surpass them in one. He didn't have a commercial for an ultrasonic washing machine in his back. Or about some healing bracelet. Movies like "Love Magic" are the best at attracting consumers of the above products. Television, of course, is the conductor of mass culture. But still, it's a shame for the federal channels.

For those viewers whose “cretinometers” still work (although they go off scale), I inform you. The TV season has begun. We are still “sitting in the woods,” as Zhvanetsky said in the “Country Duty” program, “they (we were talking about Ukraine) went to ask for directions.” The trouble is that we (we are talking about Russia) are not just sitting in the forest, we are also sitting in front of the TV. And he pulls us into the forest.

Ratings, competition, the struggle for the consumer, advertising, the capitalists - you know - TV magnates. It is not clear what a thrill they are all their lives to park here in Russia, their "Mercedes" near the garbage. But it seems that it is in such a country that our masters of dreams like to live. Otherwise they wouldn't make such television. First and second, Labor and Conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, Schroeder and Merkel, Dobrodeev and Ernst.

The season began, as always, with a scandal. The bars are fighting, the serfs' forelocks are cracking. The respected Alexei Uchitel turned out to be a serf. It was his film “Space as a premonition” that was cut, shredded, divided in two and, without announcements, was suddenly shown on the First. Although all rights belonged to the second. The teacher went to court: how can I continue to teach the good and the eternal when this is happening! If he knew that he suffered because of the ratings.

Yes, two of our main channels are fighting for them, the damned. Some all summer defeated the competitors "Carmelita", "Healing with Love", others, in response to them, are now Malakhov, "Deadly Force", "Two Fates" and "Cosmos ...". At the last ratings were not collected, but at least they hit the enemies properly. According to the TV community, it was a blow below the belt. Unfortunately, warnings for this are given only in boxing. This is a fight without rules. Everything here is ours. We live nearby, we do one thing, but the worse it is for a neighbor, the better for me.

More about "worse". About the neck of Dmitry Kiselev in the "Details" program. This is not just a neck, it is a symbol of all the “tight police elephantism” of the Rossiya information service. When the neck is shown from behind (this plan is often sinned), against the background of some politician with shifty eyes. When this is added to the inexpressible verbal anguish that flows from the lips of this politician ... Well, what can I say? Is it a job or a duty? We are innocent, they say, "Russians", we perform a state function, therefore we are forced ... Retrain as janitors, than to disgrace yourself like that, that way you will sink to Brezhnev's television.

Journalists are getting tighter and tighter. Other teleheroes who are closer to power, on the contrary, unbelt. Deputy Mitrofanov advertises on TV a porn film with a girl who does not look much like Tymoshenko. The generals and even the Minister of Defense have something fun when they talk about our crashed plane. Gleb Pavlovsky came to Solovyov's program in an interesting state. The last time Yuri Nikolaev appeared in this form before the viewers was thirty years ago. After that, the whole country fell in love with Nikolaev. Perhaps Pavlovsky was counting on a similar effect? Or is it an advertisement for his Realpolitik program?

In any case, it became clear that Pavlovsky is a man who can exorcise anything. Already interesting.

It is only unclear who will watch the numerous new NTV projects. Recently, the channel has sinned by releasing programs without an address. The channel lost its former advanced audience. Her remnants were finished off by Volodya Solovyov and films like "Sunday in the Women's Bath". Who's new?

What did you like last week on TV? I asked my son. “The clip of Mylene Farmer “Fuck them all,” answered me the younger generation, which, apart from MTV, MUZ-TV and programs in English on NTV-plus, actually does not watch anything.