Tailed obituary

Londoners say goodbye to the cat who caught mice from three prime ministers

A prosperous and decent bourgeois life, apparently, can be so boring and uneventful that even an insignificant incident can sometimes be perceived as outstanding news. And even more so when it comes to our smaller brothers. Once again, this pattern was confirmed by the residents of Foggy Albion, who recently published an obituary in London print media about a cat who lived in the residence of the British Prime Minister.

According to a detailed story published in the tabloid The Sun, a cat named Humphrey appeared at the Downing Street mansion in London in 1989, when Margaret Thatcher was still living there. A homeless black and white cat was sheltered by the residence staff. Good people decided not to keep their noble deed a secret for long and, apparently, hastened to tell all of good old England about how much they love animals.

At least when, already in 1995, when John Major was Prime Minister, the cat went for a walk and did not return for a very long time, the whole of England was worried: some for the cat, and some for the Prime Minister, whose rating could fall due to the fact that he could not even keep track of his pet. Many British newspapers then published articles about the loss of the animal, as well as poems and stories by the British dedicated to such an exciting incident. Staff at Westminster Medical College even published an obituary for the cat - and that's when he returned.

It is worth noting that Humphrey managed to capture the attention of the nation more than once. Two years later, when Tony Blair was already living in the residence, the animal disappeared again. Local newspapers began accusing Mr. Blair's wife, Sherry, of not loving animals. And very soon passions in society reached the point that the newly elected prime minister had to publicly deny rumors about a family conspiracy against the cat.

Animal worship has reached absurd proportions. The cost of its maintenance was included in a separate budget line for the Downing Street residence. Humphrey was entitled to £100 a year. A dossier was opened on the cat, which by the end of his life already reached 120 pages and was even classified at some point.

Journalists from The Sun newspaper managed to spy a piece of this mysterious document. It wrote that Humphrey “is a workaholic, spends almost all his time at work catching rats and mice, has no criminal record, is not very sociable, rarely goes to entertainment events, and has not been involved in sex or drug scandals.”

Caressed by three prime ministers and millions of ordinary Englishmen, the cat died at the age of 18. He spent his last years “retired” and lived in the house of one of the residence’s employees.

Kirill VASILENKO