Five circumstances

Chief Sanitary Doctor Onishchenko is a very smart person and a real statesman. And he understands that every problem can only be effectively solved in a comprehensive manner. If we have problems with Georgia, then we should not think that this matter concerns only the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Ministry of Defense or Gazprom. And although we did not have any sanitary problems with Saakashvili, Onishchenko could not stay away and came up with what his department could do to solve the problem. And then Mr. Gennady studied “Borjomi” and “Kindzmarauli”.

In the same way, he studied feteasca, isabella and the legendary “Codru”. I checked the Latvian sprats in a similar way. In a bad country, neither Borjomi, nor Codru, nor sprats can be good.

Onishchenko’s zeal did not go unnoticed and the attitude towards him at the top was quite favorable. Because he took a comprehensive approach! And nonlinear, which is also very much appreciated.

However, times are changing. Tell me what you want about the uselessness of the CIS, but the Minsk summit was needed at least so that Putin would rehabilitate Moldovan wines! He announced this solemnly, so that there would be no doubt, and, in addition, he made it appetizing! We learned that the quality of “White Stork” and “Lydia” will now be controlled using the “one window” system! And they so vividly imagined this window through which control would be exercised - oh, how they imagined it! “One window” was mentally transformed into “one glass.” They promised to control it at the production site, and we imagined this best job in the world - a Codru controller. In general, the summit was a positive success.

But the next day, Mr. Gennady made a statement in an interview with Interfax. It turned out to be a truly epic performance! And in form, and in content, and in the power of the Russian language involved! Onishchenko drew attention to five circumstances. Five!

Firstly, he praised the Moldovans, who claim “a renaissance of their products on the Russian wine market,” for the measures they are taking.

I will quote the second point in full. “If we assume that I, as the head of Rospotrebnadzor, have a little more than most others - as a person directly related to the events that unfolded in the period after March of this year in the wine export market to Russia, then the succinct statement of the President of the Russian Federation V.V. Putin on control at all stages of production on the territory of the manufacturing country and the import of this product into Russia according to the principles of “one window” - suggests that this is just the tip of the iceberg of the measures that still need to be taken,” Onishchenko said.

Well, I hope Mr. Doctor understands what he is saying, because little by little the suspicion began to arise that he himself had personally checked something on the spot, got carried away and got a taste for it. I only understood that Putin’s fateful decision on the renaissance of Moldovan products is in fact nothing more than the tip of the sanitary iceberg named after Onishchenko, and Gennady himself knows a little more. Putin’s statement was indeed succinct. Capacity 0.7 presented itself, and again 0.7.

But the Chief Sanitary Sowed alarming doubts. And the fears were not in vain. Already in the next sentence we read: “In other words, the process of crystallization of Moldovan wine from a spilled sea of ​​alcohol-containing solutions, including the entire periodic table and many other unsafe impurities, will be painful and quite prolonged,” said G.O. (coordination, management , adjacency, as well as changes in words by gender in the statement are left by the author - approx. A.O.)

“Codru” somehow moved away after such words. The doctor is being firm! If wine is g...but, it cannot become candy just because the leaders agreed on something behind the scenes. And this, by the way, is one of the intrigues of Minsk: what did Putin and Voronin agree on if Putin even went to the extent of rehabilitating the flooded sea of ​​the periodic table?

Then Onishchenko turned directly to the journalists, whom, apparently, he knows like crazy and smells no worse than alcohol-containing solutions. “The above should reassure those publications and electronic media that, on a non-selfish basis, throughout the entire period, starting from the spring of this year, have been covering this topic from an exotic perspective, that the financial source of their creative inspiration will not dry up.” Moldovans are real demons. Because not only do they have the periodic table bottled in cheap wine, but they also have a hell of a lot of money to support, starting in the spring, everyone who covered wine history from an “exotic perspective.” We can truly hope that the source of both money and wine will not dry up, and as far as exotic angles are concerned, we can rest assured that the Doctor will not let us down.

The fourth was the point of “re-exporting” Moldovan goods to Russia through third countries. The orderly promised that “the issue... will have the dynamics of tightening control and supervisory measures.”

And he ended with a joke - as it turned out, the first of all time. Onishchenko nominated himself for the title of winner in the competition “Best manager for improving the wine industry in Moldova.” However, he immediately added modestly and promisingly: “But that’s for another time.” We will look forward to this next time, realizing that because of the top of Putin’s iceberg, we still won’t see the Codru, and I’m not talking about Borjomi and sprats at all. And we will wait for a new opportunity to listen to an intelligent person, in the hope of replenishing the vocabulary with phraseological diamonds like “renaissance of products”, “tip of the iceberg of measures”, “prolonged process of crystallization from the spilled sea” from an exotic perspective.