Translated material
It's funny to say - money
“They said that the ruble was made of wood, but it was made of rubber.” This, if someone does not understand, is a joke about the crisis. One of many that are now entertaining not yet fired middle managers and analysts of recently flourishing financial companies. As has always been characteristic of Russian people, they escape from difficult life circumstances with the help of anecdotes about these very circumstances. We offer some of them to the attention of The New Times readers.
One bank employee calls another: - Hello, old man, how are you? - Fine. Oh, sorry, I didn't get there...
Autumn day 2010, six in the morning. Two janitors meet. One looks intently at the other: - You have such a familiar face! — And I saw you somewhere... What bank did you work for?
An investor asks his investment adviser: - Is all my money gone? Everything to the last penny? Don't worry, they haven't gone anywhere! They just belong to someone else.
Two bankers meet: - This crisis simply deprived me of sleep. How did you sleep? - Like a baby. - Yah?! - I cried all night and pooped twice ...
The crisis helped many oligarchs' wives to understand that they married for love, and the calculation was wrong.
Today I went to the ATM to get money, so he borrowed twenty from me until Sunday.
"I cry and cry." Put all the stresses in this phrase correctly, and you yourself will understand the degree of your creditworthiness.
As an anti-crisis measure, it was decided to merge the RTS and MICEX with the traffic police. Analysts note that after that the situation with liquidity in the country improved markedly.
A trader and an analyst stand by the elevator. Trader: - Well, maybe now you can say up or down.
Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin said that ordinary citizens have nothing to fear from the crisis. Independent experts clarify: it was necessary to be afraid before, but now it's too late.
The crisis helped me get back on my feet! The bank seized my car for non-payment of a loan.
A man comes to the bank for a consultation: - I want to start a small business. What to do? Buy a big business and wait.
The credit crisis is getting worse. I lent my brother a ten for a couple of weeks, and now it turns out that I am the fourth largest creditor in Russia!
Announcement on the door of the bank: “The bank is closed for technical reasons. The search for technical causes is being conducted by the Nakhabinsky District Department of Internal Affairs.”
After analyzing the current situation with the financial crisis, experts came to the conclusion that the Russian economy has already reached the bottom and is now actively digging down.