The Democrat's Fifth Dream

All night on April 1, I cursed Putin. And January has passed, and February, and March, and he is all here. I can't see a thaw like my own ears. I look at Putin's portrait in the form of the far side of the moon, prick it with a pin from the Khodorkovsky, go home! and whisper: "Get lost, perish ..." I fell asleep in tears.

I wake up all in white on some table - and there are tubes everywhere. God! Yes, I'm in the intensive care unit! Here comes the sister. I ask: “Well, how is Putin?” “What a Putin! - says the sister. “He has been retired for five months now.” Holy Fathers! I don’t listen to anyone, I run away from the hospital to enjoy the Medvedev thaw. A familiar democrat walks towards him, he is limping and his head is bandaged. I throw myself on his neck and ask: have the released Khodorkovsky been returned at least part of the Yukos funds. “What Yukos! he says. “Khodorkovsky is already on trial in the third case, in the same court and in the same cell.” And he comes, it turns out, from the emergency room. They injured his head with a club and trampled on his leg with boots, when the riot police dispersed the rally for Medvedev's resignation at Pushka. “And who is our prime minister now?” I ask. “Yes Sechin,” he says with annoyance. So. I lose consciousness and fall right into a thaw puddle.

I wake up on the same table. I hear a doctor say to someone: "That was before Medvedev's resignation." I run to check. Stars over the Kremlin, Lenin in the Mausoleum, Khodorkovsky in "Matrosskaya Tishina"... Moscow is hung with Stalin's portraits. It turns out that the mayor's office decided not to shoot from parade to parade, so as not to hang it up again ...

I ask a passer-by who the president is now. He doesn't remember the last name. “Some type,” he says, “from St. Petersburg. Like Putin went to the same kindergarten. Or maybe in a nursery ... ”In the Duma elections, the United Rabbits of Russia party won the largest number of votes, the second place was taken by the Communist Party of the Russian Federation, the third by the Liberal Democratic Party. The opposition was not registered. The new president said that the elections are not the place for the opposition. I fall and wake up five years later.

It turns out that the one from the nursery also retired. Now, instead of him, the one who was born in the same maternity hospital with Putin has been elected. Nurgaliev resigned, leaving the first deputy. The first deputy resigned, leaving the second. Generals shoot citizens in movie theaters, colonels in stadiums, majors in supermarkets, captains in the subway, starleys in buses.

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On Mondays, the riot police go to complain, on Tuesdays - SOBR, on Wednesdays - the presidential regiment

”

The New Times opened a community outreach office. On Mondays, the riot police go to complain, on Tuesdays - SOBR, on Wednesdays - the presidential regiment, on Thursdays - the State Duma, and on Fridays - the presidential administration. Everyone complains about low pay, about bosses, about overtime, about being extorted from them for bribes, and about the fact that they are disgusted with their duties.

Moscow has bought up all the military monuments in the post-Soviet space and has already begun to acquire the Arlington Cemetery and the Arc de Triomphe, because the Americans and the French look badly at them. It took half of the state budget. The other half was spent on the acquisition of aircraft carriers and submarines from the United States. Without electronics...

I went outside. There was a long queue of people at the bakery for bread on ration cards. I asked if they had made the Western choice. The people replied that a great power had its own special way. I turned and hobbled towards the cemetery to sleep forever.

I woke up on April 1 over Putin's portrait. Do not drink fanta at night and do not eat Big Mac, do not poison your soul.