Bear in the province

"They expected bloodshed from him - but he ate a siskin."

It's good to live like in a fairy tale! It's a pity that we always live in the fairy tales of Saltykov-Shchedrin. I will retell in my own words the most terrible - "The Bear in the Voivodeship", in collaboration with Mikhail Evgrafovich.

“Major and serious atrocities are often referred to as brilliant and as such are recorded on the tablets of History. Atrocities that are small and comic are called shameful and not only do they not mislead History, but also do not receive praise from contemporaries. The bear with the nickname Toptygin demanded bloodshed in the forest. “Freedom,” he wrote on his popular blog, “is better than lack of freedom. Stop screwing up business! My words are cast in granite. For this, Leo promoted him to the rank of major and, as a temporary measure, sent him to the forest as governor. And outrages and lawlessness were happening in the forest: shameful wolves grabbed packs of squirrels and richer raccoons, gutted them without any law and sent them to settlements for about 14 years. And therefore, just a little, they sent their various jackals more cunningly to the residence of the Lion with complaints and petitions against each other. The lion, although he was wasted by moths, knew a lot about wiring, it was not for nothing that he himself, when he was a major, also went wild. That is why the wolf kept in severity. But Leo got ready to go fishing, and left the promising blogger Toptygin for himself. “Bloodshed for shameful wolves! Toptygin growled terribly at once. “Freedom for the raccoons!” Hares gathered here, hung their ears, they beat drums, they rejoice: now taxes will be reduced for squirrels, an amnesty will be announced for raccoons, and there you look - the beekeeper is getting sick, the animals did not like him for greed. What to take from them - hares, they do not understand the jackal habits: the beekeeper was still sentenced to settlements on the islands by Leo, but he allowed Toptygin to grumble the beekeeper by telegram on his own and attached the address where to send the honey. Here the hares rejoiced at the removal of the beekeeper, now, the oblique ones are dreaming, now our Toptygin will be taken for the infamous wolves. Yes, it did! To begin with, Toptygin posted a decree on his blog: it's time, they say, to put an end to the damned past, we will rename the wolfs into St. Bernards, like people do. And he added another post: let the wolves pass the exam to the cynological commission, whoever brings the wand faster, whoever finds the slippers, that is the St. Bernard. Commissions sit, cynologists themselves throw sticks, bring them themselves, beauty! However, the hares see that it has not become better in the forest: the wolfs, sorry, according to the current St. Bernards have eaten the last raccoon, they drove the squirrels behind Mozhai and already set to hares. And they don’t even look at Toptygin, but on the contrary, they strive to raise their back leg at him when, for example, he commands them “To the leg!” gives. They know, after all, who is the master in the forest - not the Locum Tenens Toptygin at all.

„

Pavlovsky's chizhik flew past - am, and Toptygin ate him. He got a taste: he will devour one, then he will open his mouth on another

”

It somehow turned out inconveniently, especially in front of raccoons. Toptygin shouts: “Bloodshed! And give me some chizhikov here! Pavlovsky's chizhik flew past - am, and Toptygin ate him. He got a taste, he fell in love with siskins: either he will eat the siskin of the Commander-in-Chief of the Navy for armaments and the siskin for shipbuilding, then the siskin Mironov (he flew to the desman to the left), then he will open his mouth on the siskin Shmatko and the siskin Fursenko, but then Toptygin’s jackal poked under the table, he and missed. Out of frustration, Toptygin planned to cancel the technical inspection for the hares, but he was threatened with a fishing rod from the river. And the people are watching: the most bloodthirsty wolves, who became the first St. Bernards, are already all in medals, received a new kennel, filled up a couple of elks, overlaid a wild boar, and nothing is done to them, only their faces are shiny. And Toptygin keeps saying: be patient, hares, I will soon report to you the results of the investigation into the activities of wolves, that's when we all find out ... But what's the use. At this point, the crow croaks, and the frog croaks, and the mosquito squeaks: “Bourbon stout! He ate a chizhik! And so he got into the tablets of History - with a chizhik.